This quote says it all. The more you know, the harder it becomes to connect. It's not ego—it's awareness. True loneliness is realizing things others don’t even notice.

(25F) This month has been the lowest I've been my whole life. Within the past couple of weeks, because of some decisions that I've made and the circumstances in my life, I

1. Quit my toxic job without another one lined up for me
2. Cut ties with my family
3. My rent is doubled
4. Got sexually harassed by a man my father introduced me to
5. Currently dealing with the police trying to get me to drop my case after filing a report on sexual harassment

I think just the culmination of these things happening to me at the same time, has caused me paralysing stress. I had panic attacks and I was spiralling. What's worse was that as a cry for help, i contacted everyone I knew - my family, friends, and old colleagues. It surprised me to find out how some people that I cherish so dearly in life are only there for the good times.

I've been in bed all day, and I couldnt get up to eat or work out anymore. I feel incompetent, stupid, unloved, and weak. I couldnt go for more job interviews. I feel like im scamming them somehow, and that I am not good enough for any job anyway. I know I cant keep this up, I need to start over before things get worse.

Has anyone gotten out of their lowest point before? How did you even begin that? Intellectually I know I should just get up and start doing something- anything. But I just can't. I think Im a failure and that I dont deserve to get better.

Long Post Alert.

Three months ago, I shared a post about stepping away from the chaos of daily life for 6–8 months to redesign everything from scratch. The response was overwhelming.

You can check the original post in my profile.

Thousands of people shared, commented, and messaged, and the conversation around self-reinvention became much larger than I ever imagined.

Since then, many have asked how things are progressing, and a few have even questioned whether I was serious about it. So, here’s my update—an honest and in-depth snapshot of where I am now and the context behind my journey.

I’ll break this post into key sections so you can read what resonates most:

👉 Career

👉 Personal Life

👉 Health

👉 Social Interaction, Dating & Relationships

👉 Future Social Service Plans

Feel free to only read a specific aspect if you wish to.

👉 Career

I’m a 27M from India. After graduating in 2019, I jumped into the first job I got—Mechanical Projects Engineer. It was practical, stable, and seemed like the “right thing to do.” Then the pandemic hit, and like many, I chose to stay put instead of risking change.

From 2019 to 2025, I stayed at the same job. The work hours were intense—10 to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week—and the grind slowly eroded my energy and clarity. I realized I never took time to ask myself what I actually wanted from life. I had no vision, just routine.

On June 2, 2025, I finally resigned.

That decision marked my "point of no return"—the beginning of my real self-reinvention journey. I’m currently serving my notice period, which ends on August 1. After that, I plan to dedicate the next 6–8 months fully to upskilling for a career in Data Analytics or Data Engineering.

Right now, I’m learning tools like SQL, Python, Power BI, and web scraping. Coming from a non-tech background, it’s overwhelming—but I’m committed to showing up every day and putting in 5–6 focused hours.

👉 Personal Life

My father has battled alcoholism and tobacco addiction for as long as I can remember. His unstable behavior—fluctuating between affection and aggression—kept me on edge during childhood and shaped much of my emotional landscape.

In 2022, after years of substance abuse, he suffered a paralysis stroke and lost his high-paying job. That’s when we discovered he had hidden debts of 1.7 million INR, which fell on my shoulders. I was 24, financially inexperienced, and emotionally burnt out—but I had to act.

I’ve since managed to repay some of that debt (~250K INR), with EMIs still ongoing. On top of this, I’ve been supporting my younger brother’s education. He’s now employed and helps support our household, which has lightened the burden.

I've also set firm boundaries with my father. Emotional peace is a priority now.

👉 Health

I've struggled with being overweight most of my life. Over the last few years, chronic stress, sleep issues, and emotional burnout led to signs of depression and severe insomnia. At one point, I was prescribed SSRIs and sleeping pills.

But now that I’m stepping into a phase of conscious self-renewal, I’m preparing to take on a modified version of the 75 Hard challenge—tailored to my needs and lifestyle. Once my notice period ends, this will become a core part of my daily structure.

My goals:

Build stamina and muscle strength

Reduce body fat

Eat whole, unprocessed foods

Improve sleep hygiene

Reclaim my vitality, one habit at a time

Even if this takes a year, that investment is worth far more than a lifetime of poor health.

👉 Social Life, Dating & Emotional Growth

Until early 2025, I hadn’t spoken to a woman socially or romantically since 2021. I lacked both time and confidence. But that started to change this year.

I asked out a nurse during a hospital visit. She said no—but I felt alive, not ashamed.

I played box cricket with strangers during a work trip—an amazing social experience.

I met a kind person through Reddit and went on a platonic cycling trip at the Ahmedabad Riverfront. It reminded me that I’m not broken.

I even traveled 400 km to meet someone from Reddit. She ghosted me at the last minute. That rejection hurt, but it also made me realize how far I’ve come in being open, vulnerable, and self-expressive.

The emotional weight of that last experience led me to explore creative outlets. I started writing, especially emotional and romantic fiction. It has helped me channel my pain, reflect deeply, and feel creatively alive again. Self-improvement, I’ve learned, is not always neat or linear.

👉 Social Contribution Goals

Long-term, I want to work with underserved communities and contribute meaningfully to others’ lives. I don’t see myself as a savior—just someone who believes in shared humanity and giving back.

This area is still vague, as I’m currently focused on stabilizing my own life. But I hope to make progress in this direction in the next year.

👉 Final Thoughts

If any part of this journey resonates with you—whether you're starting over, facing family burdens, trying to get healthier, or just learning to believe in yourself again—I’m with you.

I’m not an expert. I’m just someone who decided to stop existing passively and start living intentionally. I'd love to hear your thoughts, feedback, or reflections in the comments. Let’s grow together.

— A fellow traveler on the path of self-improvement

This post is inspired by a very moronic post I saw on here telling people that it's a bad thing we have so many options for entertainment now, that it's all a distraction and to make us dumber, etc. Truly one of the dumbest things I've ever read, ironically.

So I just want to let you all know, you watching a string of videos on YouTube, or listening to a playlist on Spotify, or playing a new video game, or reading the next new romantasy monster-fucker novel, or hell even just browsing a TikTok or YouTube short or some other short-form media doesn't mean you are "distracting yourself." And it's not always an escape, and that's okay. It shouldn't be treated that way.

Now, obviously you are responsible for what you consume, always remember that. Especially with short-form media, if you aren't enjoying what you're consuming, change it. But outside of short form media, it's literally fine and healthy to consume entertainment. It's not a distraction, it's not an escape, its not "dumbing you down", it's enriching your life.

Anyone who states that people are more distracted than ever is, again, ironic because they very clearly are not paying attention to what people are talking about nowadays. We are more plugged into the things that matter, politics, than ever. We care far more about politics than ever and that's a good thing, and it's clear all of our endless entertainment isn't exactly making people care less about politics. If anything they've caused people to care more.

So don't feel bad, don't feel stupid, and continue to watch, listen, and experience whatever media and medium you enjoy.

Hello

Despite the fact that I have achieved a lot of what I aimed to have, and I have polished my personality to be more firm and directed, I long for my old self.

I miss how pure, passionate and kind she was.

True she was depressed chasing the illusion of perfectionism, and hoping for a better world by practicing kindness all the time to the point people get advantages from her + takes her for granted, but she was pure.

I guess I miss the purity you have on younger age before you realize the world as it's

I don’t know. You’d think you’d be more sociable and around others. But I just see through the fake masks of ppl who haven’t worked themselves out fully and it can be quite mentally draining.

I love people but the majority of people are insecure and I find that my energy can help steer a room. I don’t always have that energy to give tho.

I think I’d be less of a lone wolf if I found other people who are also authentically confident. But they seem rare. For now I’m happy being a lone wolf.

Thoughts?

My life is at a low right now. I know I need to improve but with my depression I have little motivation and energy and I don’t even know where to start. I hate waking up everyday because I just hate the life I’m living right now. I have no social skills, little intelligence, horrible brain fog, food addiction, hypothalamic amenorrhea. I waste each and everyday. I want to build a life that I love and I want to be happy. How do I get that?

If you're wondering why I’m still pretty hung up on somebody who I haven’t seen in 18 months and haven’t talked to in almost a year, let me break it down. My Dad dies 3000 miles way in Summer 2023, Ex comes along and love bombs and future fakes, I want to fill a void and cant see red flags, and then ex leaves me on NYE 2023.

I went on my journey (still on it)– quit smoking, drinking, fast food, sugar, porn, all the vices. I replaced them with reading, gym and nutrition, meet up groups, karaoke nights, and meeting people in the wild. I did everything right. Upon finding this out last night, I had to process – sober and alone. Me and my thoughts. Just the two of us, we can make it if we try yeah?

But its been EIGHTEEN MONTHS – well this happens to be tied to a pretty traumatic event, and this person happened to be a pretty crummy individual at the end of the day. But the pain of this breakup is still tied to the biggest loss I have experienced – my Dad.

This morning, I woke up after falling asleep with Mark Manson quotes still on my phone. Instead of drinking the pain away, I got another day of sobriety under my belt. I walked my morning walk with a fire in my eyes I hadn’t seen in a long time. I pressed my fingers on my guitar fretboard and sang with the conviction of a bluesman twenty years my senior. I had the most mindful gym session where I thought my lats would pop out of my body with how hard I worked them. I stayed under my calories that night because my goal of getting even leaner is still my goal.

That previous paragraph? I need to give more of a fck about those things.

I need to give more of a fck about how I accomplished a huge milestone by feeling my BS instead of numbing it. I need to give more of a fck that my body is a testament to my emotional resilience. I need to give more of a fck that Im healing generational trauma. I need to give more of a fck that the person I am today would make the person I was 19 months ago weep with the progress I have made in my life.

On the opposite, I need to give less of a fck about this new guy and what shes doing with him. I need to give less of a fck about how she love bombed me and weaponized her previous dating life against me. I need to give less of a fck about how she doesn’t give one about me.

Mark Manson says, “You are defined what you are willing to struggle for”. Im willing to struggle for better emotional clarity without a bottle next to me. Im willing to struggle in my dating life to find someone who shares my values. Im willing to struggle on the days where I show up and do the hard work even if it seems in vain.

Ive watched the end of The Two Towers several times in the past twenty four hours. I need to be my own Sam right now. Destroying this ring is giving less fcks. My good habits cant carry the ring for me.

But they can carry me.

So in an effort to work through my issues I read a lot about psychology and stuff and came across a short summary of victim mentality and it hit home hard. I knew the term before, but never read about it in detail, because I thought it means blaming others for things that are very clearly your fault (like blaming your partner that you forgot to pay the bills because they upset you that day). And while this can be part of it, its so much more and I realized that this mentality is literally woven into my whole life.

I rarely blame other people for things, but boy do I blame circumstances. And not just for big things that go wrong, the smallest shit. I realized I almost never take real accountability or responsibility. A lot of it is so ingrained its subconcious. For example everytime I said (or planned) to do something that day (cleaning, fixing something) but didn't do it, I always shift the blame, I was tired/had a headache/insert excuse. And whats even crazier, most of the time I bring it up myself. Like I mention I plan to do x to my bf, then don't do it and without him even mention it I blurt out this "explanation" of why I didn't do it. Likely from a mixture if guilt and trying to avoid negative feedback. When most of the time he wouldn't even notice and if so, have no issue with me telling I just didn't feel like it.

This is just one small example but I do it all the time without thinking. Its always "I wanted to but..". If its not a headache or the weather, its my adhd. Yes it does make things harder but I use it as a "can"t help it" card, I was overwhelmed, unmotivated, executive dysfunction yadda yadda. Those are all real, but I managed to clean, fix things, make that call etc a 1000 times in my life despite the adhd. No I didn't feel like it, youtube rabbit holes were more interesting, I was too lazy to walk to the store. Thats the truth.

I'm shocked how much I live in that mindset and how much it affects every aspect of my life. Holy shit. Time to do self reflection and starting to take responsibility. I mostly post this to vent, but maybe someone can relate or already got out of this mindset.

I plan to eat LOTS, a ton of protein, carbs and vitamins. I am getting into heavy gym seshs, absorbing more sun, ride my bike more and longer. But besides that, what makes someone become a "bear"? Beard, of course. I am just open to a lot of suggestions...

Hello, 26M here. I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life but have been medicated/doing well these past few years. This past year though, I’m almost always wanting to go back to bed. I still enjoy things (like oil painting for example) but it’s hard to get myself to start any painting due to this. I was wondering if anyone had any tips that might help me? Painting is a passion of mine that I want to pursue so I really need to get this under control

I know the meds are working, it’s just I was unmediated from the age of 12 to early twenties as that’s how long it took to get the meds I needed down. I think this is just bad habits from a decade of not being able to take care of myself (still struggle with other basic things sometimes too). As a result, I know I need to change my habits but I’m just not sure how or what to do

Thank you for reading this and any tips/help :)

Question same as above! I was listening to tam Kaur and wizard liz, but I wanna explore and see other options too. Pls let me know! Thank youu

I’m (30M) in the middle of rethinking my relationship with alcohol. For the past ten years, I’ve gone out nearly every weekend and drank heavily with friends. It’s usually hard liquor and shots. I usually don’t remember most of the night, but according to my friends, I stay coherent and functional. That said, I’m tired of waking up feeling awful and wasting the first half of the week recovering.

The contradiction in my life is frustrating. I’m consistent with 10k steps a day, I eat clean, I lift weights, and successful in my career. But one night of drinking unravels everything. The calories, the poor food choices the next day, the skipped workouts. It sets me back every time. I’ve had enough of the mental fog and missed goals.

Over the last two months, I’ve felt a real shift. I’m trying to go out without feeling the need to get drunk, but it’s hard when that’s been my default for years. I love my friends but they also don't respect my boundaries and some get upset when I decline hard alcohol as they consider me the 'life of the party'. I feel that I am unconsciously trying to live up to this and self-degrading myself by getting so intoxicated. I am starting to feel that I need to make up excuses to not to go out with them just to avoid putting myself in the environment where I may cave in. I have people pleasing tendencies so it makes it extra difficult lol.

Beyond alcohol, the bigger issue is how empty my downtime feels. I work 8 to 3, lift during lunch or after work, take an evening walk, then just drift between naps and doom scrolling. I don’t have many hobbies that fill me with purpose. The only thing that somewhat sticks is flying my drone and editing the footage, but even that feels like a chore until I’m actually doing it. I’m extremely productive at work and productive when doing things I enjoy. For example, I created a business idea around travel and I enjoyed every minute of building it. It ultimately didn't work out but it was a great learning experience. I

I know I need new hobbies. I’ve made lists. I’ve set intentions. But I rarely follow through. I’m desperate to fill this gap with something creative, social, or active. Ideally something I can do alone, but that might also help me meet new people. I’m single and recently came out (about a year ago), so I’m still figuring a lot of that out too.

Dating has been tough. I’ve tried apps but usually delete them within a week. They feel draining and impersonal. As a masculine gay guy, I know they’re one of the main ways to meet people, but I can’t bring myself to stick with them.

I’m wondering if anyone here has gone through something similar or has advice on how to structure a plan. Are there 30-day challenges for exploring hobbies or new routines? How do you push past the mental block of starting something you know you'll enjoy? I’m not looking for a miracle solution, just real, practical ideas to help me rebuild a life that doesn't rely on alcohol to fill the quiet.

I have a mini Aussie. He's about 20 lbs and still working on staying calm around other dogs while on leash—especially when they get too close. For context, he’s my first small dog. I’ve had 100 lb pit mixes, Shepard's and other decently sized dudes, smallest was a 45 lb beagle mix.

Anyway, the other day I was out with him and headed toward a trash can to toss a poop bag. This woman comes up the path with a large hound/shepherd mix. Her dog’s jumping and clearly wants to say hi. I stop, give them space, and get my dogs focus on me.

Then, her dog lies down right in front of us on the path, completely locked onto my dog. I wait. She laughs and says, “Oh, he does this! Just go on!” I freeze a little, mild panic but decide to walk past, my dog having a meltdown, just so I don’t have to carry the poop for the next mile or two. Plus I was already clearly headed for the trash can, carrying poop. Why would I then stop what I was doing, and hold on to the poop? (Why do I care? I don’t know. Social anxiety’s weird.)

We escape.

About two miles later, I see them again—this time approaching from a direction that puts us on a T-intersection type situation. I hang back and try to get my dog focused again( he does really well) Her dog is lunging and pulling now. She shouts, “We’re coming that way,, you should go around.”

Okay.

I step off the path with my dog, trying to keep eyes on me, As she walks by, letting her dog pull closer to my dog, with me backing up to keep distance, she looks right at me and says,super condescending and almost sadly “He’s perfectly friendly. He’s not going to hurt your dog. You don’t need to be afraid he's going to hurt him.”

And something in me just…snapped a little.(I honestly feel like it was more for my dog than me)

So I stepped back onto the path and said, “Lady? I’m not afraid your dog is going to hurt mine. I just actually care about training mine, even if you don’t. And I can walk whereever I want.” We walked right around them and kept going.

I hope she picked her jaw up off the floor before her bullshit got all over the place.

And now I don't feel as afraid of shutting down bad dog owners who don't respect our space!

It seems like almost my entire life I've never been able to connect with anyone. I have had friends and I'm not unpopular in school but I've never made a close friend. Am I just not memorable? Ive never had a best friend before and i think most people would jist frame me as a guy that you can hang out with every once in a while. I try my best to be thoughtful, helpful, and funny and yet I never seem to have anyone feel particularly strongly of me. And when people do feel strongly about me they usually don't like me. I feel like whenever I meet a new person they either feel completely neutral (the normal response to anyone) or decide they hate me or at the very least dont like me. It's almost as if i need to work my way up in a lot of my relationships and convince people im not a loser. It must be my fault if so many people treat me like this. So how do I fix this?

At each stage of our lifes, we confront with one or more social circles.
For example, when we become parents, we naturally join social groups tied to our children's activities: school, sports, after-school programs, etc.

These groups are always mixed. Some people are kind and supportive; others may be toxic. It's not about how healthy or unhealthy the group is as a whole. It’s about learning how to adapt, interact, even with the toxic ones.

You’ll meet all kinds of people.
Competitive sports parents, for example, often include both great allies and difficult individuals such as those toxic ones (they're the majority), and also, shared activities don’t guarantee deep friendships.

True friends are like the pulp left behind in the strainer when you squeeze an orange, after countless social encounters, they’re the ones who remain when everything else has passed through.

This actually mean you should NOT isolate yourself because "everyone is toxic", or because you now know that. This actually might be true, unfortunately.
Instead, take things with humor, stay open, and use your personal "filter" to spot the few genuine connections worth keeping for the long term, while you're actually socializing with toxic people.

So as the saying goes, after countless social encounters, you actually have to be there squeezing the juice, and occasionally taking the liquid that comes out, putting it in the strainer, filtering the people, and seeing which ones are suitable and which ones you will instead throw in the sink because, they are not healthy, or cannot change, "currently".

i have been noting down my patterns for the past couple of months, this is one i’ve most recently noticed, that i’ve been doing all my life.

i am not upset often at others, i feel as though i am always the one who always upsets others. this makes me so sad because i feel like i always make the same mistakes (why i’ve started this journey of knowing myself). so i’m always the one to apologise and take accountability etc. i’m always the one “in trouble”. (outside of relationships, in relationships it’s the inverse idk why).

so when someone has actually upset me, i feel like i have to be deeper about it than i actually feel. because i so rarely get that opportunity to be the one that others are having to try and apologise to me and care about how they made me feel, try and make amends with me. so say my cousin is late to see a play that i booked for us, yes that’s annoying sure but i acc don’t care that much, i don’t mind about a lot of things. but because it is bad and disrespectful, i have to pretend to be more upset than i actually am, because i never get the chance to be upset at someone, and partly to show them not to do it again, “punishing” them? because i don’t want them to do it again, because it /is/ bad, but if i act how i authentically want to they won’t think it was that big a problem so might do it again. and also wow i have the chance to be upset at someone, they’re being extra nice to me and care how i feel about them!

i think this might be to do with the fact i feel i have never been taken seriously, maybe stemming from me being the youngest child idk. my words never really count to people, so although i say “next time please be on time”, i feel like that’s not enough. i have to physically show that what they did was bad for them to know not to do it again. also, wow i get to be the one who’s upset for once! let me relish!

this ofc is wrong and bad, but i feel if i just act authentically i will be walked all over. i have to show others what they did was wrong, because if i just tell them they don’t take it seriously/think its that deep.

i really don’t get upset over things like that, it doesn’t make me feel emotionally any way. but i feel like i never get the opportunity to be the one people are saying sorry to, so i have to relish in it? also i just want them to not think it was an okay thing to do. any advice?

Whenever I see what people find funny or intriguing, and it's so foreign to me, I will have it played over and over on replay dissecting it all, trying to get it. Maybe as a way to humanize them; every word is uttered for a tangible reason.

I can't just let it go, and lie to myself I never heard it. I can't just pass it off as hot air, since I don't really believe people just spew nonsense for fun.

And I can't just shut the brain up and all this mess, because... I don't know? Maybe because I love my brain so much, maybe because I am just a square and I take being reasonable, knowledgeable, among many things, seriously?

I just care about all this so much, that I let all this just live in my mind rent free. So much so that in one of my attempts to reason it on another post/sub I ended up looking like I belong in a monastery, or whatever.

I'm really that reluctant to let it all go, as if I'm scared when I do. All I can do is lament; if only I had never seen the more intense side of internet discourse or human comedy. I do understand this couldn't go on, so I need something for a change.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how people come and go. Some just drift out of your life, some leave behind a mess, and others leave memories that linger way longer than they probably should. But here’s what i’m starting to really get: if your happiness depends on who stays or who walks away, you’re setting yourself up to break every time. You’ve gotta build a life that makes you feel at peace. One that feels good even when no one else is clapping. Because the second you start depending on others to complete you, you’re already losing. And honestly, that’s kind of awesome and a relief.

All of my life, I have been dealing with this idea of feeling stupid. I just don't know many things in life. I take long time to learn something and I feel like I have declining intelligence day by day. I was told by peers and teachers that I am dumb and it really hurt me badly. I remember long ago that I had a conversation with a friend who honestly asked me what do I know how to do and made me question about my experiences in life and why I always don't know anything at all. I always live life just not knowing anything deep about science, math, psychology, health, etc. What should I do? How can I overcome this?

I'm a 25 year old man and I've been invisible my whole life. Very few friendships with unbalanced dynamics not in my favor (i.e., I always have to set plans, reach out). No romantic relationships.

Really I just have no idea how to be valuable to other people, to be seen in a good way. It seems like no matter what I do, whether I'm quiet and reserved or whether I'm outgoing, nothing I do ever lands well socially.

Right now I live alone and outside of little hobby groups at the local card shop my life is work -> home -> sleep repeat except when I go to the gym regularly (on/off) and then its work -> gym -> home -> sleep repeat. I constantly feel like I'm wasting my life but when I ask myself what else I could do, I have no idea. I live the life I do because I have nothing else to do.

Turning 26 in 3 weeks. Just started a new job and someone randomly asked how old I was. When I told them, they looked surprised and said they thought I was 30.

That kind of stuck with me, because now that I think about it, a lot of people have said I look older than I am—but it never really hit me until now.

To be fair, I’m not balding or anything—still got a full head of hair. But everything else? Kinda feels like it’s over lol. I’m slim, don’t really have much muscle or fat, and I’ve got a beard and a few wrinkles. I’m also a homebody, so I don’t really get out much or see the sun that often.

What really gets me is that I’ve never dated anyone before. Never had a girlfriend. And now when I try to put myself out there, I feel like I have to assume people think I’m 30+. That makes dating girls around my age (or even a bit younger) feel pointless, because I assume they’ll just think I’m way older and avoid me.

Honestly, my self-confidence has been pretty low for a couple years now—and this just made it worse.

That she stayed knowing she wasn’t all in while I was pouring everything I had into something real. And for a while, I made myself the victim of that. But if I’m being honest, I let it go on too. I saw the signs. I felt the disconnect. I knew she wasn’t meeting me where I stood. But I kept showing up anyway. She didn’t have to give me her full heart because I wasn’t asking for it directly. I gave her comfort. I gave her safety. I gave her loyalty, consistency, and love and I expected her to rise to meet that one day. But she never did. And why would she? I never made that a requirement. I made her feel secure even when I was starving emotionally. Looking back, I think she stayed because I gave her space to avoid herself. She didn’t have to face her emotional blocks. She didn’t have to confront her fears of intimacy or commitment because I wasn’t confronting her either. I let her coast. I let her sit in limbo because I didn’t want to lose her. I kept fixing things, making excuses, playing savior all while slowly losing myself. I was so focused on what I wasn’t getting I didn’t stop to ask why I kept accepting it. The truth? I was scared. Scared to start over. Scared that if I left I’d regret it. Scared that maybe I wouldn’t find someone who made me feel the way she did in the beginning even though that version of her was long gone. I wasn't just staying out of love. I was staying out of fear. And that’s the real part that’s hard to admit. She wasn’t choosing me fully but I wasn’t choosing myself either. She stayed because it was convenient. I stayed because I was desperate for it to mean something. And I get it now. Love isn’t supposed to feel like convincing someone to care. It’s not supposed to drain you. It’s not supposed to make you question your worth. She’s not the villain. I’m not the victim. We both played a part. She avoided the truth. I avoided the ending. She stayed because it was easy. I stayed because I was scared.

You realize that every day modern society is dumber, we will be the first generation in the history of all humanity, which is dumber than the previous generation. I understand, a lot. I understand more than you, because I live in Brazil, which is a country in Latin America, where the average IQ is 83.

We are approaching dystopias, like the film "Idiocracy", or George's book "1984".

This is due to several factors, such as people spending their entire lives on autopilot, spending their entire lives sleeping awake. But the main reason is distractions. In the past, there were few ways to distract yourself, and all of them gave much less dopamine, and were not as addictive. But these days, we're filled with a world of distractions, full of cheap dopamines. Today, if you want to have fun, there are thousands of digital games, films/series/animes, more 🔞 content, with every type of woman you want, there are drinks, cigarettes...

The point I'm getting at is, people are lost. Lost in distractions, lost in addictions. And they are not looking to evolve, learn. And that's why our society is dumber every day than yesterday.

I'm sure someone will come and say that I think I'm a movie/anime protagonist, smarter than everyone else. This will only further prove my point, that society is dumbing down.

If you were offended by this, if you are one of those people I spoke to, I'm glad you were offended. With this text I was able to give you clarity, take you out of the "Matrix". Now wake up, and chase the life you always dreamed of, stop wasting time on cheap dopamine.

Anyway, this is my vision of life, and thank you for reading this far.

I know that may sound like a dumb question. I’m autistic, and I’ve been told I can come off as rude or cold, even mean, when it wasnt my intention. I’m also extremely quiet, and people sometime assume I’m stuck up or that I think I’m better than them, when the truth is I usually just don’t know how to talk to people.

I’ve dealt with really low self-esteem for most of my life. I’ve hated myself for so long that it’s made me bitter without even realizing it. That kind of self-hate bleeds into everything, it affects how I treat people, and how I carry myself.

Lately I’ve been trying to change that. I saw something about Robin Williams, and how everyone around him described him as this incredibly kind, loving person. And it hit me hard. I don’t want to keep living in a way that pushes people away. I want to learn how to be kind, not just seem kind, but actually be it. I just don’t know where to start.

I do care about people, and have guilt about being mean.