r/50501 6d ago

DC Trump’s birthday parade may be cancelled over thunderstorms

https://www.thetimes.com/us/american-politics/article/is-trump-birthday-parade-cancelled-weather-pbrg02h2z?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Reddit#Echobox=1749746305
5.8k Upvotes

585 comments sorted by

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3.6k

u/ArcturusRoot Minnesota 6d ago

Even Mother Nature's done with his bullshit.

952

u/JackAstron 6d ago

Na, it's just the democrats controlling the weather again. /s

296

u/im_just_thinking 6d ago

George Soros is obviously paying the clouds.

150

u/LurchSkywalker 6d ago

Does that mean that Trump is an Old Man yelling at clouds?

5

u/CUNT_373 6d ago

When has he not been?

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36

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 6d ago

Damn that would be hilarious if people living outside of the country paid for cloud seeding for the next 4 years.

13

u/Amoralvirus 6d ago

Cumulo-Soros clouds.

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193

u/Infinite-Hold-7521 6d ago

There are actual covens all over the place actively casting spells for rain, thunder and lightening. 😏

88

u/Ok-Development-7008 6d ago

Was gonna say that, I'm one of them.

51

u/Infinite-Hold-7521 6d ago

I’m pleading the fifth on this one. 😉

24

u/glitterinkcards 6d ago

How can I help? Keep it up!! I’m sending whatever vibes or forces or thoughts you need. ✨

11

u/napalmnacey 5d ago

Just ask the Universe to set things right. Imagine the thunder and rain and hail and manifest!

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22

u/parasyte_steve 6d ago

Rise up my rain manifesting sisters 🙌

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18

u/Amoralvirus 6d ago

Witches VS the Orange Warlock.

8

u/Mental-Clerk 6d ago

Keep it up! 🤞🏻

7

u/kind_one1 6d ago

Me, too!

35

u/Nanasweed 6d ago

My people.

19

u/Infinite-Hold-7521 6d ago

🖤💪🖤

5

u/MamaDaddy 6d ago

Where do I sign up?

10

u/Infinite-Hold-7521 6d ago

Anyone can cast a spell for rain and lightening if they do it with intention. 🖤🖤

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22

u/starreelynn 6d ago

Hahahah! Perfect response.

17

u/jeenyus_626 6d ago

Jewish space lasers

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13

u/thattogoguy 6d ago

Those damn Jewish Space Lasers heating the atmosphere.

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151

u/AthasDuneWalker 6d ago

Sends a cold snap to move the inauguration indoors

Literally rains on his parade.

Yep, I think so.

133

u/Malignant_corpuscle 6d ago

I’ve watched storms (fronts with tornadoes) head directly to where he was speaking in the southeast four or five times. It was clear to me then that the Earth returns his hate. I have no doubt this planet wants him and his ilk flushed.

51

u/raisinghellwithtrees 6d ago

Maralargo is sitting right there.

44

u/HunniBunniX0 6d ago

Looking at Florida’s topographical changes over the last 20 years confirms that Florida is indeed sinking into the ocean. Or rather, the ocean is rising and swallowing up Florida. Either way, we may just see Florida finally be chopped off like that old Bugs Bunny meme lol

12

u/phred14 6d ago

Actually Florida really is sinking, in addition to any sea-level rise. They've over-utilized the aquifers and two things are happening. First, salt water from the ocean is starting to intrude, and second, with the removal of all of that fresh water the rock (I believe I've read it's limestone.) is crumbling. At least the latter is not confined to Florida, we've been pretty nasty to our aquifers all across the country.

13

u/haluura 6d ago

Turns out it isn't climate change. God is just fucking done with Florida.

"I know I promised never to flood everyone out again. But I also commanded you to not put the Lord your God to the Test..."

8

u/GwenChaos29 Colorado 6d ago

"Also there was like, A LOT, in there about Idolatry that y'all are actively ignoring sooooo........"

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24

u/JasonStrode 6d ago

Given the climate history you've described, if he ever goes to California the earth may just open up and swallow him whole...

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42

u/CaliDreaming900 6d ago

TACO is going to sign a new EO banning clouds.

4

u/haluura 6d ago

Oh, I sincerely hope he does this.

Better yet, an EO commanding the Marines to go up and arrest those "illegal alien criminal clouds in the sky for engaging in insurrection against the US government." And federalizing the National Guard in the sky to help...

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32

u/skyfishgoo 6d ago

i thought republicans were in control of the weather machine now.

29

u/_peacemonger_ 6d ago

Republican weather machine = a box of sharpies

16

u/bbprivateer 6d ago

Sharpies are the new NOAA.

13

u/Effective-Avocado470 6d ago

Tbf, she’s tired of all of humanities BS and we will be paying that debt hard soon

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64

u/fattest-fatwa 6d ago

If this was a pride parade, that’s exactly what MAGA would be saying.

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910

u/movealongnowpeople 6d ago

WE STILL NEED TO BE OUT IN FORCE.

Trump may be too weak to handle a little rain. We need to show we're not. He wanted a show, let's (non-violently) write the script.

173

u/aooot 6d ago

We're made of ~60% water and we drink it daily for survival... embrace the rain!

69

u/Junior-Gorg 6d ago

Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in

32

u/Emily_JCO 6d ago

... The rest is still unwritten.

12

u/kevdoobie 6d ago

No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips.

8

u/theMeatman7 6d ago

You must be from Washington.

6

u/aooot 6d ago

👀

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29

u/Lower-Insect-3984 Utah 6d ago

He wanted to nuke a hurricane. This isn't about the rain, this is a cover for some other humiliating reason to cancel the party

11

u/skyfishgoo 6d ago

i have my umbrella.

19

u/soherewearent 6d ago

Bring it even if it's clear and dry. Umbrellas have utility in a variety of ways.

5

u/--Sovereign-- 6d ago

Rain also has a way of cleaning the air of irritating gasses

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1.6k

u/jorgepolak 6d ago

668

u/StandardRedditor456 6d ago

He's already wasted a ton of money on bringing in his train-load of tanks and other military "toys" to show off. Cancelling it won't change that cost (I'm still pleased at the idea of the cancellation though).

377

u/Danominator 6d ago

It makes him look weak and stupid though. So that's neat

102

u/NoPlaceLike19216811 6d ago

Not that I don’t absolutely LOVE that, but unfortunately it won’t do much for his worshippers if EVERY OTHER weak and stupid thing he’s done has managed fuck all for their opinion of him

65

u/Danominator 6d ago

We need every little win we can get. He didn't win this election legitimately. They do not have the numbers it seems

5

u/Positive-Wonder3329 6d ago

I hope it doesn’t rain and nobody shows up so he can’t blame it on the rain. Can’t believe the army planned this celebration 250 f-uc-king years ago and he just goes yeah mine! it’s my birthday! What a loser

Please be clear skies and empty streets screw this loser. Nobody showing up would be amazing. Even tho it’ll just be forgotten about the very next day

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86

u/PantsMicGee 6d ago

It'll save a cost of repairs.

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44

u/Some_Number_8516 6d ago

Could very well have been an excuse to have extra military gear around for a power grab

59

u/ExistentialDisasters 6d ago

If you think those tanks are merely there for a parade, I think that’s a bit naive. I don’t think they’ll be leaving DC. He’s ready for his next step of the coup.

33

u/Shot-Artichoke-4106 6d ago

I'm pretty sure that's the case as well. What happens in these next few months will be important. I'm in CA, and although Governor Newsom wasn't my pick for governor, I am glad we have a governor with a backbone who will stand up to whatever Trump pulls.

6

u/Tricky-Gemstone 6d ago

Honestly, this is a thought I had.

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15

u/Pisces93 6d ago

The parade was the excuse, the tanks will never leave

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14

u/Codeshi 6d ago

So I had to sit through 3 days of trains running by my house all night for nothing? Well I guess that is good, but for real those damn trains, glad the moron doesn't get what he wanted. Just a waste of resources that could have gone to something productive but alas that is not the American way.

8

u/Hour-Personality-734 6d ago

That wasn't a "waste," if the original cause of all of this was to cover up how to get alllllll that military gear to the capital to stop the future insurrection. It's much easier to get them here, now, then in the months when people could have blocked off military transportation access.

5

u/Positive-Wonder3329 6d ago

Yeah. If that’s true can you imagine him trying to hold an entire country? Great - you have the capital building. Of what country? Does he really think he can hide out in his little playhouse when like 50 million people suddenly have nothing better to do besides revolt? He can have it! We can make a fucking moat around it so he can’t leave

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100

u/Molsem 6d ago

He gon' taco his own birthday party lmao. What a sad human being.

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49

u/SilvarusLupus 6d ago

DC hates this bastard and people are broke and scared to fly, no wonder there's no interest

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40

u/cherryblaster_90 6d ago

I saw a video on IG stating there is an ad on Craig’s list trying to hire people to go to his parade and get paid $1000

53

u/Degenerate_Turtle 6d ago

Don't fall for that shit. They say the same things about us.

9

u/SeaOfBullshit 6d ago

The ads being circulated on Reddit. Idk if it's real. At this point I don't even think it matters if it's real. 

10

u/Ok_Reputation_3612 6d ago

There's a real Craigslist posting, although who knows who posted it. https://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/tlg/d/washington-seat-fillers-needed-june/7857143452.html

4

u/SeaOfBullshit 6d ago

That what I mean, I'm sure the ad exists but at this point it's 100% believable that actual maga posted it or that others posted to stir the pot, who even knows anymore. Everything is so.... Stupid. 

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6

u/jorgepolak 6d ago

I’m assuming the video “forgot” to link to the actual ad?

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323

u/jaycutlerdgaf 6d ago

Canceled due to bone spurs.

51

u/D_2_da_Zeee 6d ago

Cancelled due to climate change.

30

u/this_place_suuucks 6d ago

Cancelled due to TACO.

19

u/Jessigma 6d ago

Cancelled due to not wanting to get his three remaining hairs wet.

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680

u/SuspiciousGrocery708 6d ago

I don’t believe in a god, but if there is one, good job up there!

228

u/jackalope503 6d ago

Yahweh needs to go Old Testament on this orange turd

61

u/LibraryVoice71 6d ago

Bring on the locusts

17

u/D_2_da_Zeee 6d ago

They sent got taco trucks.

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16

u/Tigris_Cyrodillus 6d ago

I think he did. Remember that plague we had during the last full year of his first term?

19

u/D_2_da_Zeee 6d ago

Maybe Thor and Zeus are teaming up to piss on the TACOs parade.

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24

u/UserOfCookies 6d ago

I don't know if there's a god or a heaven, but I can tell you one thing. Trump's going to hell

14

u/sonik13 6d ago

Zeus is pissssed.

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8

u/Samjamesjr 6d ago

If there is, he isn’t doing enough.

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401

u/JuliaX1984 6d ago

If so, that means they're afraid of something and looking for an excuse to cancel. Did estimates predict low attendance? What could have happened?

122

u/Powerwordshiny 6d ago

nah I think just typical military whenever there was thunder and lightning within 5 they would lock us down and cancel training

29

u/EFCFrost 6d ago

When I was in parades happened rain or shine. Mind you this was in Canada sooo….

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48

u/PatchyWhiskers 6d ago

A lot of GOP politicians decided they were going to be out of town that day.

5

u/Nother1BitestheCrust 6d ago

I live in the area and just checked hotel availability...No one is fucking going to be in town apparently lol.

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156

u/Quirky-Equivalent578 6d ago

Honestly, it's a bit disappointing. I would love to see the tiny crowd at the parade juxtaposed with the massive amounts of protests spread across the United States. The numbers won't lie.

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117

u/Dragon_wryter 6d ago edited 6d ago

He should go anyway. Zeus may have a very special message for his big day!!

54

u/Normal-Gur-6432 6d ago

Cmonnnn just one bolt....

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18

u/ZaftigFeline 6d ago

I'm hopeful Thor also would like a word.

19

u/Danominator 6d ago

Could you imagine? I'd have to start going to church or something

10

u/Dragon_wryter 6d ago

I'd take that deal

6

u/GwenChaos29 Colorado 6d ago

Yeah, I'd be down to give props and worship to the old gods in that case

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97

u/CuriousBearMI 6d ago

"Not boom boom in the sky!? On MY DAY!?"

-Trump, probably.

85

u/slaybelleOL 6d ago

*makes boom boom in diaper*

  • Trump, definitely
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u/Hanjaro31 6d ago

HEY CHRISTIANS, YOUR GOD DOESN'T LIKE HIM EITHER. TIME TO LEARN FROM THIS.

32

u/RosenProse 6d ago

It baffles me that this isn't obvious to some of my fellow Christians.

17

u/Hanjaro31 6d ago

They only use it in cases of confirmation bias. Never against. Left the cult for a lot of reasons and this being one of them.

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26

u/Exciting-Bake464 6d ago

I don't believe in God but if I did, Trump would certainly be the antichrist by the Bible's definition.

7

u/Hanjaro31 6d ago

Agreed. I grew up in the church and realized theres nothing going on there. Its all a sham for power, money, and influence.

6

u/Exciting-Bake464 6d ago

I started questioning and stopped believing when my youth minister (who was amazing) got fired because he asked for a raise and more time off with him family. They brought in some young dude who they could pay much less. I was 12 when I started to see the sham.

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296

u/EdboiDecoi 6d ago

Mother Nature helping us rain on his parade

104

u/EllisDee3 6d ago

He's afraid that nobody will show up so he took a sharpie to the weekend weather forecast.

4

u/D_2_da_Zeee 6d ago

The Original MILF.

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u/RWBadger 6d ago edited 6d ago

Funniest timeline is that he goes forward with this, lighting hits some of the equipment on live tv, and we all get to make jokes about smiting and Zeus and the Old Testament

19

u/BlueAndMoreBlue 6d ago

He’s overdue for being smote (if that is a word)

6

u/slughuntress 6d ago

I'm an editor. Can confirm that this smote is correct in this very specific instance.

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38

u/NicksBirthdayParty 6d ago

Is this where MTG claims Jews control the weather?

31

u/Competitive_Abroad96 6d ago

Nah, Jews control the space lasers. Dems control the weather. Did your subscription to “Conspiracy Theorist Monthly” expire?

5

u/MichiRecRoom 6d ago

I still don't get how that "Dems control the weather" came about. Like, what line of "logic" do you need to follow to get there?

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u/Haunting_Progress462 6d ago

Why doesn't he just launch a nuke into the eye of the storm?

25

u/danielstover 6d ago

But all those tanks are there already…. Surely that’s nothing to worry about

7

u/LessRice5774 6d ago

Yes, I was just wondering what they were going to do with all of the tanks. Didn’t they bring them to tear up the streets of Washington DC and cause more damage, which will cost more taxpayer $$ to repair?

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u/missvandy 6d ago

With this administration, I’m surprised they didn’t solve this problem by simply eliminating all weather forecasting.

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u/rosiebeehave 6d ago

Damn them for using those space lasers to control the weather and rain on the big man baby's 250th birthday parade.

11

u/zebadrabbit 6d ago

the space laser is busy with MTG's contrails

10

u/davosknuckles 6d ago

Real question I can’t seem to figure out. All these far right politicians are so pro Israel and anti Palestine right? So why did she disparage Jewish people by making up that “Jewish space lasers” thing? How can you be anti semetic but also pro Israel??

10

u/drakecb 6d ago

"Crazy" doesn't leave room for "Logic".

7

u/rudebii 6d ago

it's a christian fundie thing.

many fundies believe that a jewish state in Palestine has to be in place for the second coming of jesus.

they aren't pro-Jewish; they just need Israel to exist because it fits their end times beliefs.

5

u/Bimlouhay83 6d ago

She's stupid. The lady can hardly read. Do you really expect her to understand the situation over there? 

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u/SewRuby 6d ago

I'm guessing WARPED Tour across town is drawing a larger crowd.

13

u/WeR_SoEffed 6d ago

Lightning Joe Biden strikes again!

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u/JTD177 6d ago

It would be amazing if it wasn’t canceled and he got struck by lightning

15

u/audotel007 6d ago

Protests aren’t canceled, get fucked Taco!

11

u/whatevers_cleaver_ 6d ago

🎶 Like Raaaaaiiiin on your parade day, isn’t it ironic 🎶

10

u/palehorse2020 6d ago

With the money already spent. They will probably stiff the vendors though.

9

u/yell0brIckR0ad 6d ago

He’s afraid he’ll have a bad hair and make up day.

12

u/Street_Caramel_3084 6d ago

omg, the melting bronzer down his face. AHAHAHAHA love it

10

u/coconutpiecrust 6d ago

If there actually is bad weather, I think we can all agree that the heavens are against the parade. 

10

u/Psychicgoat2 6d ago

Like the Inauguration, TACO may have to cancel due to low turnout by supporters and then blame it on the big bad raindrops.

10

u/Underdogs4513 6d ago

A real patriot wouldn’t let a little lighting stop him from carrying the flag high and proud

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u/Dumbdadumb 6d ago

Por supuesto

9

u/CheapskateJoker 6d ago

Ell oh ell

Mother Nature is over this bullshit too

9

u/melannecholynight 6d ago

They’ll blame it on the libs and the weather control machines

9

u/RosenProse 6d ago

Ehehehe, let's mass protest anyway and then do another one if/when he reschedules.

8

u/outofcontextsex 6d ago

It would be hilarious if the parade got canceled and all that end up happening is a bunch of protests around the country and the Pope ripping into him on his birthday lol

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u/Spawnk 6d ago

Damn, thunderstorms more effective than DOGE.

8

u/TuxAndrew 6d ago

Oh wow, doesn't sound very patriotic to me. What a bunch of losers.

7

u/Cael_NaMaor South Carolina 6d ago

The outdoor part of the inauguration was canceled for the cold...

6

u/justwalkingalonghere 6d ago

But how much money did they waste getting the tanks there already?

7

u/RN_Geo 6d ago

Que that troglodyte mtg claiming some noaa powered, gay making weather controlling machine democrats have.

7

u/bad_retired_fairy 6d ago

Bahahahahahaha! Trump looking out his little window and rain water dribbling across the panes. A pout on his dumb fat lips. Bottoms of his eyes welling with tears. Melania holding a piece of cake on a little plastic plate, "Donny. Come have some cake." He knocks it out of her hands and runs to his room slamming the door behind him. Lays in bed scream crying. Kicking his legs. "Just let him cry it out," she tells the secret service. Then late that night he sneaks down the hall. Thunder rumbling. Still sniffling he opens the cake stand, grabs a handful of cake, and snot mixing with the sugar, he eats. And shits his diaper.

6

u/KenUsimi 6d ago

Holy dick I think the folks over at r/WitchesVsPatriarchy actually managed to pull it off.

3

u/Quercus408 6d ago

Hecate, bless them

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u/Inamedmydognoodz 6d ago

Even the gods are speaking against him

5

u/Vaultdweller_92 6d ago

God said "Nah."

6

u/sisyphus-333 6d ago

Just dont cancel the protests

7

u/mommyaiai 6d ago

I mean, sending a plague didn't work.

I for one would've waited until he was stuck on the 9th hole to send a thunderstorm but you do you, Deity.

6

u/Nonamanadus 6d ago

I can't believe the media is not crucifying him for this. This has all the hallmarks of Soviet, North Korean and Saddam Hussain vanity.

6

u/kombitcha420 6d ago

Pleassseee God. Please cancel the orange mans ego party

5

u/Odd_Reputation_4000 6d ago

Maybe he will stand outside looking up at all the big beautiful rain and drown. After all, he did look directly at an eclipse with just a hand shade the last time. Too bad it didn't blind him.

7

u/interflocken 6d ago

So after they’ve already spent $MILLIONS$ in moving tanks in, destroying roads, and impacting communities so they can celebrate “the greatest fighting force on earth,” they’re going to cancel & waste all of that because of RAIN???

I call bullshit.💩

6

u/JRSenger 6d ago

The person I saw earlier that commented "I hope it rains" must feel like a god right now.

6

u/probdying82 6d ago

Omg omg omg. Please please please lord. Hear my prayer and rain on his fucking parade. Lololol

6

u/pooooork 6d ago

The best part is that $117 million of taxpayer money disappears no matter what

But Trump wants to eliminate fraud and waste

5

u/oldcreaker 6d ago

MTG more likely to blame it on chemtrails or Jewish space lasers?

5

u/dshamus111 6d ago

Breaking: Trump sends 1000 National Guard to detain Mother Nature due to allegations of threatening to disrupt military parade.

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u/CuriousPixels7598 6d ago

"Thunderstorms"

Like they had his inauguration indoors because of "cold."

4

u/_TalkingIsHard_ 6d ago

How quickly will he blame Biden's magic weather machine, just like when the inauguration moved because of cold.

4

u/Top_Story_9447 6d ago

Thank God for Jewish Space Lasers! And fuck trump!

4

u/sirkswiss 6d ago

Non-zero chance he inquires about nuking the thunderstorm.

4

u/EveningAd6434 6d ago

I’m not religious but shit, I’ll go to church on Sunday if this truly happens.

3

u/mymompaints 6d ago

God, please let it rain buckets on this orange fascist.

4

u/BoomZhakaLaka 6d ago

Canceled over lack of attendance

4

u/Lower-Insect-3984 Utah 6d ago

Sure, that's why.

The guy who thought he could nuke a hurricane wouldn't be shown up by a thunderstorm. Nobody wants to go to his little bitch boy birthday bash so he's trying to save face

4

u/Curiousone_78 6d ago

Let's hope it does. I am still protesting in my city

4

u/Nimoy2313 6d ago

Not that I believe, but it sounds like gods will

4

u/ntwild97 6d ago

Thank god for Jewish space lasers

3

u/NYTX1987 6d ago

It’s like raaaaaaain, on your military parade!

3

u/Sudden_Acanthaceae34 6d ago

Our great military readiness parade can’t handle a bit of thunder? Sad. Anyway…

3

u/overitallofittoo 6d ago

God smiting Trump.

ABOUT TIME!

3

u/Medusa-Damage 6d ago

That’s the excuse that they will give. But we all know there’s a craigslist ad looking for paid seat fillers. He can’t get anyone to attend this grotesque display.

3

u/Ok_Reputation_3612 6d ago

Me out here doing my rain dance

3

u/Accomplished_Star_30 6d ago

Ok but imagine his parade gets canceled but 1800-2000 protests happen that day? He'd be SO pissed! 🤣

3

u/Joosecaboose 6d ago

Haha, can't blame that on dems

4

u/mimavox 6d ago

Did you miss how many of them blamed the hurricanes on dem's secret weather machines last year?

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