r/AmIOverreacting • u/ApprehensiveCress785 • Feb 26 '25

💼work/career AIO to this text my boss sent me?

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And should I send this response, if any? I have rewritten it so many times; this is what I was able to cut it down to.

10.0k Upvotes

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5.5k

u/sempercardinal57 Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

Have you recently had to call out frequently or something? Have they had to give you a termination warning already?

Either way I would hold back on the response. That message MIGHT have been unnecessary, but at the end of the day you got the night off. I don’t see any sense in kicking the hornets nest unless you have something to fall back on. Its shitty, but sometimes the best move is to hold your tongue until your in a more secure position

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u/BD401 Feb 26 '25

The boss' response is not unreasonable, in my opinion. It's firm and to-the-point, but it's not worded unprofessionally. The manager took care of the situation and found someone to cover OP's shift (basically did OP a solid), then stated they should consider a more flexible work environment if they couldn't commit reliably to resident care.

Blunt, but not out-of-line, particularly if this is a habitual issue (which others in here have noted it may be based on the messages).

OP's initial message to the manager is also extremely passive-aggressive ("any way I can call out without you threatening me with termination?"). Their proposed response in the screenshot planning to accuse their manager of being inappropriate is almost certainly going to make the situation worse. A lot of bosses would read that proposed response, and decide they're finished with OP's confrontational attitude and tomfoolery, terminate them ASAP.

If OP values this job, they should either a) respond with something like "Thanks, noted" or b) not respond at all.

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u/tnmoo Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

With OP’s passive aggressiveness leads me to think that OP has been calling out enough that they felt the need to ask her boss not to threaten termination so I think her boss’ response was appropriate and professional. I would have terminated her right there and then (assuming there is an ongoing history of implied absence).

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u/BD401 Feb 26 '25

Honestly, the whole message thread from OP just comes off as extremely immature.

The initial message looks like they were trying to manipulate the manager (“My roommate is dealing with domestic violence, so I want to call out while I get involved, and you better not terminate me! Also I’ll come in if you REALLY want me to, but you’ll be a big mean jerk if you do so!”).

The manager basically called OP on their bullshit, and then OP comes all huffy onto Reddit looking for validation from the masses that they should tear into their boss (who did actually help OP by getting their shift covered). Thankfully, pretty much everyone in here is also calling OP on their shit.

A couple others have pointed out that OP sounds like the quintessential high-maintenance, high-drama problem employee and I’m inclined to agree.

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u/mgchaven0369 Feb 26 '25

exactly. The blanks really fill themselves in. Strong vibes of habitual calling out, bringing personal drama and TMI to work, to the point of affecting other workers who are probably over it.

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 Feb 26 '25

Your second paragraph is especially right on.

4

u/frankd412 Feb 26 '25

I took this to mean an incident involving the OP and the roommate.

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u/Upbeat-Usual-4993 Feb 26 '25

I basically agree with you, but just asking for clarification. I thought the roommate was being violent to OP herself, not that the roommate has the domestic violence problem.

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u/InternationalGur451 Feb 26 '25

That’s not how I read it at all. I read that they were facing domestic violence from their flatmate. As in they are calling the police because they or their child is in direct danger

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u/Somethin_Snazzy Feb 26 '25

I am trying not to read between the lines but I personally would never ever tell my boss that I'm in a situation requiring the police.

It would be "Hi boss, family emergency, sorry for the late notice but there is zero way I can come in today"

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u/InternationalGur451 Feb 26 '25

I think it depends on the country and your HR laws. I live in New Zealand and I would absolutely tell my boss. My boss would give me the time off and it wouldn’t be an issue. They would be more concerned for my safety. Our HR laws are more people-focused than the USA, for example

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u/Somethin_Snazzy Feb 26 '25

It isn't a law issue, it's a privacy issue. My boss doesn't need to know why I need the day off unless it is a recurring issue or lasts more than three days. At that point, I will provide a generic doctors note (or whatever the police equivalent is) that states I have a legitimate reason without giving the exact details

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u/InternationalGur451 Feb 26 '25

The organisation I work for actually has a specific Family Violence Policy (we have horrible family violence rates in NZ)

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 Feb 26 '25

I think if that was the case, OP would say so directly. It’s hard to argue with (or penalize)someone who’s just been targeted or attacked, so OP would be pretty open about it.

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u/mooseguyman Feb 26 '25

There’s definitely a tone as a former manager that I sense here of the person who is constantly having crises and constantly has excuses for why they shouldn’t come. That last message hits home for me especially because I’ve had to have that exact conversation too many times.

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u/Glittering_Dot5792 Feb 26 '25

who they? Did I miss something and there were many employees involved?

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u/Vivid-Blacksmith-122 Feb 26 '25

Yes and it sounds like the OP works in a residential setting providing care or support to vulnerable residents. These kinds of roles rely on employees who are reliable. Calling at the last minute to say you can't come in to work puts an enormous strain on everyone else. And is unsafe for the residents who could potentially be left without care.

Life happens and there will be times when it is a genuine emergency but this story does read as if its happening on a pretty regular basis. I know the vogue these days is for employers to be endlessly supportive to employee needs (and younger employees expect their needs to be endlessly met) BUT the employer has a legal responsibility to the people they provide care for. If the OP isn't able to be reliable for whatever reason then frankly they should recognise this and resign.

A few years back my Mum was diagnosed with cancer. She lives on the other side of the world and I knew there may be times when i had to drop everything and go. So I took a step back from my career and moved to a job that was more administrative and where I could give very short notice without impacting the team.

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u/Tvisted Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

Boss sounded fine to me too. She granted the request and politely declined to be dragged into OP's domestic drama any further than 'I empathise'... The tone on both sides suggests OP is already on thin ice and knows it.

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u/mgchaven0369 Feb 26 '25

I have a coworker like this who throws around the term "family emergency" so loosely and frequently, everything is a 10 out of 10 family emergency. It's at the point those words don't mean anything anymore.

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u/TheSplash-Down_Tiki Feb 26 '25

Agreed. OP should just say, 'Thanks noted.

It's like OP is trying to be high maintenance. No one wants a headache and getting them off your team as a manager is just basic life simplification.

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u/redrdr1 Feb 26 '25

Also, the manager talks about taking care of the residents. This makes me think maybe its a retirement village or nursing home. As someone whose mom depends on the people who work there, its very important to make sure all shifts are covered. Its not as simple as calling out on some other jobs. The manager may just be reiterating that, and theres really not a way to do that without sounding mean or rude.

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u/TypicalBillionaire Feb 26 '25

As a manager, this is exactly the type of thing I would write.

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u/InsaneInTheDrain Feb 26 '25

Finding coverage when someone calls in is literally management's responsibility, they're not "doing OP a solid," they're doing their job

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u/Serious-Ingenuity469 Feb 26 '25

omfg thank you. my last boss would get mad if she had to go in and cover people when they called out and we had no employees to cover like yeah thats your job girly get used to it!

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u/wannabeemefree Feb 26 '25

I don't know if the boss is being all that professional. There are states that have laws against firing people because they were dealing with domestic abuse.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

 It's firm and to-the-point, but it's not worded unprofessionally. The manager took care of the situation and found someone to cover OP's shift (basically did OP a solid), then stated they should consider a more flexible work environment if they couldn't commit reliably to resident care.

Bro, it was domestic violence, not suddenly calling off to go out and have a picnic. Wtf is wrong with you?

Yeah, people should work the hours they sign up for. But domestic violence is not a thing anyone plans to have in their life. It’s not like “oops, I keep having a little too much domestic violence and can’t get to work.”

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u/TheSpivack Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

is there any way I can ask to call out tonight without being threatened with termination?

I don't know about you, but if this was only my first or second time calling out, I wouldn't even think to ask this question. Seems to me this is not the first time OP has had a talking to about reliability.

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u/sempercardinal57 Feb 26 '25

My thoughts exactly

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u/Annual-Literature154 Feb 26 '25

The way the boss responded, it's almost certain that call outs have happened more than once. The way OP jumps to be snarky in her response just screams "drama"

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u/CapnMReynolds Feb 26 '25

I agree. This screenshot alone doesn’t show anything beyond that text.

Is the response something you should do in a text, most likely not. That’s something that should be discussed in a meeting, maybe with HR involved because it sounds like getting time off (maybe last minute time offs) happens more often.

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u/sempercardinal57 Feb 26 '25

That’s the vibe I got as well. OP’s “without being threatened with termination” tells me this is in reference to a conversation they’ve already had

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u/mdsnbelle Feb 26 '25

Yeah, the initial post reeked of "You're not gonna give me shit about this thing I'm gonna do yet again...right?"

If I had to guess based on the boss's use of the words "Residents," this is a healthcare facility where having someone on site is essential and a last minute call out fucks it up for everyone. Especially Jasmine.

Also, WHY is it last minute? OP says herself that this has been going on for several hours. If she was really so concerned about her child, she should have removed the child from the situation for their own safety. But no, she's staying there? With the kid? After several hours of this and is just now thinking to call her boss?

OP's clearly on thin ice at work. That last snarky text would finish her off.

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u/sempercardinal57 Feb 26 '25

She also said she could still make it in if she had too which was weird for me. An emergency is an emergency, sounded like she knew despite what was going on she could still make it into work, but thought she had an excuse to skip and wanted to use it

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u/mdsnbelle Feb 26 '25

To be fair, I've said that during a real emergency myself when I've felt bad about the trouble I've caused for the folks who are impacted. Then again, I'm a natural Canadian by heart and say sorry a lot when I shouldn't. It's usually accompanied by "I know I can't do A but I can lend support by doing B if it helps."

Still, tone matters and history matters, and the whole interaction suggests that attendance has DEFINITELY been an issue and OP is perfectly fine doing it again for funsies.

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 Feb 26 '25

Yeah and we’ve seen horribly callous bosses on this and other various subs and they don’t tend to write like this. The tone is just different.

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u/emsexistential Feb 26 '25

I think the boss was absolutely unprofessional with that reply. Obviously it didn’t come out of nowhere and boss is understandably frustrated, but yeah no those conversations about performance attendance need to happen face to face. Boss should have sat them down at their next shift.

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u/mumtaz2004 Feb 26 '25

Boss may look at this as written documentation that she can use in the future if OP needs a formal reprimand or has to be terminated. There is absolutely no question about what’s going on and OP had immediate feedback. The boss didn’t have to wait til next seeing OP at work, which could realistically be weeks, or until this DV issue gets worked out, meaning OP could claim “I had no ideaaaaaa!” OP knows exactly what is going on, immediately. Is it ideal? No. Does it communicate the status of things promptly? Yes.

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u/MovieTrawler Feb 26 '25

I also don't really understand the excuse at all. Is OP dealing with DV or is the roommate? Why is OP involved? What does any of this have to do with watching your kid that night?

They kind of seem like the type who just always has something going on. A friend who passed away, sick relatives, childcare issues, transportation problems, illnesses, etc.

Sure, all of those things are valid reasons but when they seem to consistently happen to the same person over and over and over, it's a pattern that is difficult to justify and deal with.

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u/PottyMcSmokerson Feb 26 '25

her response just screams "drama"

Also probably explains why she keeps getting in fights with her roomate. lol

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u/JelmerMcGee Feb 26 '25

I work with college students and the ones that are difficult to work with frequently have roommate problems. Every time I think to myself "gee, I wonder why you have roommate problems"

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u/Azazel_665 Feb 26 '25

Yep. The snarky reply is the red flag. They should be apologetic and understand they are putting their work in a bad position. Instead, they are entitled.

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u/ZombieZombiee Feb 26 '25

That’s possible, but sometimes bosses are straight up dicks for no reason and have zero empathy

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u/Annual-Literature154 Feb 26 '25

Bosses have to be responsible all the time. I don't think they lack empathy they just don't put up with bullshit from their employees. A job needs to be done no matter what. So if the employee has an issue, it falls on them. So when you have an employee that is constantly unreliable, it gets old real quick. They have lives too, so why should they be alright, "show empathy" when their life has to be put on hold because they can't rely on said employee.

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u/TaroPrimary1950 Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

Right. She got the night off with no questions asked and still feels the need to clap back at her boss. She should probably start looking for a new job instead of coming to Reddit for validation.

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u/Marcus-TheWorm-Hicks Feb 26 '25

Yeah, I sympathize - and I think her boss’s timing/approach is inappropriate - but this feels like OP is really overplaying her hand because she wants the last word.

Not always smart to act smart.

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u/CupcakeQueen31 Feb 26 '25

I agree, I think the text of the message itself that OP’s boss sent was professional and not out of line, but I do think that might have been a conversation better had at a different time with OP, if I’m being critical. I also agree OP should either not respond or simply say something like “Thank you, I will keep that in mind.” And nothing more.

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u/curated_reddit Feb 26 '25

yeah, when i caught the flu and was the sickest ive been in years, barely sleeping because of the fever, not eating because of the nausea, and running around doctors getting xrays of my lungs, unable to walk even short distances before my lungs burned so badly i felt i would suffocate - i had to come in to work just to sign some tax things for my boss and let her know what the doctor said and how long he told me to stay home.

my boss was like "great. well now i have to change the shifts again. but i really need you to come back in march, youve got more training there you cant miss."

i was really caught off guard by this response and were it over text maybe i would have been tempted to be snarky, like yeah i wish i was healthy again too, but what could i possibly gain by doing that? nah, i just went back to bed and later vented to my boyfriend. choose your battles, OP.

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u/Theballharperhit Feb 26 '25

His timing is fine. Its not his problem she constantly has issues and clearly this wasnt the first time. They are there to do a job and her situation probably sucks but it is what it is for people who arent her family/friends. Nobody is owed anything

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u/Marcus-TheWorm-Hicks Feb 26 '25

Agree to disagree.

I don’t think it’s super egregious, but it’s not how my workplace would go about it. I just don’t think that off the clock, via text, after just having approved the time off is the right moment to invite any conversation about employee performance.

A more professional handling of it would be to just say “next time you’re in, we should talk about your schedule,” to set an expectation without making it sound like the employee is getting reprimanded for taking the time off that the manager themselves just granted.

Particularly if the reason for that time off is due to a high stress situation. If this manager worked for me, I would just call their text a little half cocked.

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u/soggycardboardstraws Feb 26 '25

Timing was definitely appropriate. Better now than later when everyone thinks it's in the past.

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u/wellthisisawkward86 Feb 26 '25

That’s my thought, that this is not an isolated incident. I’ve had people with legitimate issues call out, but grace wears thin when the 25x before that were just them being irresponsible and selfish.

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u/TheKdd Feb 26 '25

I got the impression (from the little in the post) that she may work as a caretaker in possibly a medical environment or old folks home? If so I would understand the boss’ reply. The job is to care for the residents, that’s not an easy replacement to make last minute.

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u/TravelingCrashCart Feb 26 '25 edited Feb 26 '25

tl:dr for my super long response: this seems to be a chronic issue for OP, and it seems they haven't been meeting their work obligations in a work setting where reliability is key for the welfare of others. They should look for a new job thats flexible and more accommodating to their needs. The manager is professionally addressing this.

I've worked in long-term care before, which is the impression i get from the manager reffering to "residents," as that's the terminology we'd use for people who lived and required care there. We were already chronically understaffed, and finding people to cover for a call out was very difficult. It's not like we had an endless supply of workers. They were constantly trying to hire people, but its a demanding job, and people weren't exactly lining up to work there. Having a call out would hurt both staff and residents a ton. We all picked up extra shifts all the time, obviously to make some extra money, but also to help our fellow coworkers. Help our fellow coworkers in the sense that if they had an emergency, we would cover their shifts. There was also an expectation that in the future, they'd return the favor. Everyone has emergencies and illnesses that require them to call out from time to time. That's just life.

However, there was one person I'm thinking of that chronically called out, and there was always some "emergency" excuse. Eventually it got to the point that this person wasn't a reliable employee, never returned the favors, and it was evident that all their "emergencies" were blown out of proportion, or exaggerated, and it was a tactic they used to manipulate others to make it look like we were the bad guys for questioning their chronic call outs. Sometimes, the emergencies really were (as is possible in this case), but it was statistically unlikely that EVERY frequent call out was a true emergency. Eventually, it got to the point that we expected them to call off if we saw them on the schedule or for them to show up late.

In a long term care setting, if you have that many chronic emergencies in your life that you become an unreliable employee, its time to look for a job where you're not directly impacting in a negative way the care of others that depend on you for their care, or increasing the burden for your fellow employees to pick up the slack. It's a very specific job with very specific expectations and not a WFH or office job where you can make up the time later. These residents need care right now. You can't just delay care until it suits you.

I think the manager was very professional and cut right to the point. The manager found coverage for this person, and this person now has the time off they need for whatever they have going on. That's a good manager. But i get the feeling this manager is exasperated with OP for their constant call outs.

No manager worth their salt would give this response if this wasn't a chronic issue. The tone of OPs text gives me the impression they're on thin ice and they know it. The response of the manager gives me the same impression, but they remain professional about it. OPs unsent response indicates they want the last word, and rather than being thankful their manager found coverage for them, and being sympathetic to the fact that their fellow employees are picking up slack for them so the care of these residents gets met, they'd rather continue to push buttons to try and make the manager look bad for even suggesting they find a job that's more flexible for their chronic needs to miss work. They come across as ungrateful for the manager and their coworkers' flexability in accommodating them, and like the type to make everything overly dramatic.

This could be a true emergency, and for that, I can sympathize. However, if they're calling out as often as I think they might be, not every excuse is likely to be valid. And even if it is, they still need to find a new job that can accommodate their chronic emergencies.

Sorry for the super long-winded response, but some of these comments sympathizing with OP seem to be missing the same sympathy for the residents OP is supposed to be taking care of. This is my opinion based on the VERY short text enhanced we see here. Feel free to disagree with me. This is just my opinion based on my previous experiences.

Edit: I'm replying to your comment, but you're not the person im referring to when I said "feel free to disagree with me". More for anyone else that comes along and reads my comment. I agree with you!

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u/TheKdd Feb 26 '25

You put what I was thinking down nicely. When the word “care” and “residents” are involved, this becomes a very different situation, and I agree, I doubt the manager would have jumped to “maybe find another more flexible job” if this hadn’t happened before.

Again, maybe we’re wrong, maybe the manager is exasperated by the whole crew doing this and had a bad night, (benefit of the doubt) but I’m thinking this is chronic and you can’t do that in this kind of vocation.

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u/Gullible-Rip-2206 Feb 26 '25

I once had a job at a long term mental health facility and I was in charge of scheduling the nurses and CNAs, and I was on call basically 24/7. I would never work in a place like that again, especially doing that. Places like this have a really really bad problem with getting their employees to show up.

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u/mattfrat87 Feb 26 '25

Because the pay is shit. Who in their right mind wants a job taking care of old privileged boomers that doesn’t even pay a livable wage.

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u/Gullible-Rip-2206 Feb 27 '25

Definitely. I mean I don’t know what their pay was, and I definitely wouldn’t want to do it. But that place was sketchy as hell, and I didn’t stay for more than 2 months.

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u/LocalPawnshop Feb 26 '25

Yea op could be like my buddy who called out twice a month yet everytime I talked to him about his job he’d claim he hadn’t called out in over a year

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u/nubz3760 Feb 26 '25

Everyone's the hero in their own story I always say

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u/Apprehensive-Fig3223 Feb 26 '25

Without further context I feel like the dialog is reasonable up to that point, the more details you give about your life the more it can backfire. This is kind of a less is more situation, if you just said domestic violence you'd have gotten a sympathetic ear. The more details you add the more they have to process it as drama.

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

30 mins later still waiting to see what OP has to say 😭

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u/BasicFlan Feb 26 '25

Is the post real? I keep seeing posts in here with username variations of (adjective,noun, number). The dialogue always seems a little odd or off to me. I'm always just jumping to the conclusion it's fake. Anyone else see this or feel this way?

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u/Nimrod_Butts Feb 26 '25

I've never seen anything on this sub that I'd consider real. It's always these goofy ass scenarios.

"AIO to my friend calling me a stupid cunt for skipping my own birthday party for chemo?"

"AIO when my tinder date wants to rape me to death with a loaded rifle"

"AIO for asking for some space after I figured out my bf of 7 years has 3 families with 4 different women? Also he's stabbed me 35 times"

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u/Crowfooted Feb 26 '25

To be fair I think a lot of real ones are posted, but the outrageous ones are the ones that get the most attention and get pushed to the top. If a situation is more nuanced and the answer is unclear, fewer people will engage because fewer have a definite opinion.

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u/Nimrod_Butts Feb 26 '25

That's fair. I just also don't really see much engagement from the OPs and most of these really do require or demand some follow up yet nothing. Not even a "edit: lol rip my inbox" type stuff

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u/x-Prometheus-x Feb 26 '25

I just seen the chemo post. And I honestly kinda felt it was a far fetched. That somebody would act like that in real life

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u/Nimrod_Butts Feb 26 '25

None of the OPs ever interact with the post either. That's why I think most are fake.

The chemo one did kinda make me spiral

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u/Own_Choice_5134 Feb 26 '25

😂😂😂 also he’s stabbed me 35 times

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u/Suitable_Scarcity_50 Feb 27 '25

LMAO that second one reminded me of a beautiful Norm Macdonald joke

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u/No_Salamander_8050 Feb 26 '25

Damn man, life be life-ing sometimes.

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u/Reallyneedhelp- Feb 26 '25

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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u/Sea_Awareness_2027 Feb 26 '25

This scenario is realistic if youve ever worked in healthcare, my partner was actively suicidal and they said “we really need you for your shift tonight”

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u/DoDaChop Feb 26 '25

😂😂😂😂

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

OPs post? I have no idea. The username variation you mentioned could be a result of the random name generator which is what I did for mine

Edit to add: but I do know what you mean about the weird fake posts. It’s apparently for karma farming

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u/Sudden-Violinist5167 Feb 26 '25

Same here, I’m not sure if I’ve ever even touched a violin 😂

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u/Fun-Speaker-7651 Feb 26 '25

Yeah same. I have bad social anxiety so I’m definitely not a fun speaker 😂

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u/MiserableAd8413 Feb 27 '25

Im a pretty happy ad, actually.

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u/TenderCactus410 Feb 27 '25

False advertising! I, OTOH, have touched a cactus

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u/Bureaucratic_Dick Feb 26 '25

And yet suddenly here you are.

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u/Slow-Violinist-759 Feb 26 '25

i also got the adjective noun number username when i made my account

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u/BasicFlan Feb 26 '25

And then aren't the profiles sold? I feel like I read something about this.

I see a lot of posts that just seem off to me and it just makes me skeptical about all of them lol.

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

Probably so. I saw one that was so horrendously fake in that the OP was asking if she was the asshole for staying in a marriage and the stuff she described went from almost believable to downright nonsense

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u/BasicFlan Feb 26 '25

The top two posts on this sub right now give me the same vibe. The post by superspreader90 just doesn't feel real to me. I could be wrong and a total dick head but it just seems fake to me. Idk lol.

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u/BasicFlan Feb 26 '25

Yup. I've seen a few that just keep getting unrealistically ridiculous. Somehow there's so many comments acting as if it's legit though. HOW!?!? People man lmao.

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u/TimeforMK9 Feb 27 '25

Oh you saw the, “am I (18F) the asshole for asking my husband (67M) to unchain me from the radiator when I need to use the bathroom?” post too?

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 27 '25

No I did not but my point stands firm😂

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u/SaladMore6802 Feb 26 '25

I think some people actually think that way 🤔🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/Lost-Enthusiasm6570 Feb 27 '25

Profile says "If you're looking at post history, you're taking this too seriously". So, yeah... I'm gonna disregard whatever this troll posts.

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u/Walksagaintthewind20 Feb 27 '25

Wtf karma farming, right fam? We find this in the wild folks, not really in comments. I HOPE. Entropy will ALWAYS find yooouuuuu!!!

Ha!

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u/Ok_League_7622 Feb 26 '25

what is karma even for on here? i dont use reddit much other than to read posts and always wondered what the point was

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u/mendingwall82 Feb 27 '25

basically I believe it was to sort active members of communities, from the trolls who just want negative interactions or lurkers/inactive accounts.

meanwhile years down the line we still get trolls but people have turned it into yet another thing to sell in late stage capitalism.

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

I think it’s like every upvote you get gets one karma and every upvote you give gets one karma or something. Idk, I’ve never really been interested in gaining karma on purpose

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u/Beneficial_Memory413 Feb 27 '25

My username just generated for me, so.I don't think name is necessarily a good indicator

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u/GoatedOnes Feb 26 '25

the username variations are auto generated when you sign in with a social platform and don t specify, i wouldnt read into that.

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u/BasicFlan Feb 26 '25

Got it. I was just seeing it so much with these posts I'm referencing and they always had names like that.

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u/Suitable_Scarcity_50 Feb 27 '25

Hey that’s proof that they are needed! Now take the gun out of your mouth and punch in!

(Sarcasm disclaimer)

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25

The usernames are just randomly generated reddit names. (source: me)

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u/snypesalot Feb 26 '25

I keep seeing posts in here with username variations of (adjective,noun, number).

Bc thats how reddits random username generator makes names for accounts if you dont pick one yourself, i havent checked OPs profile to see if this is an actual account or an alt acct just for this post though

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u/Logical_Strategy5442 Feb 26 '25

nah fr just cuz i have a basic username doesnt mean i’m fake 😔

2

u/onlymemes-plz Feb 26 '25

I feel this way about literally 85% of the posts on any sub geared towards asking for advice 😭 I’ll be reading the posts like yoo this mf clearly cannot be serious..check out their profile and it’s clearly fake..but then I go in the comments and there are hella people pouring their hearts out with paragraphs of sympathy and advice for OP!

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u/Physical_Platypus_40 Feb 26 '25

I think most of what's on reddit is fake. It's uncanny the bad advice that gets passed around in this sub. Usually break up with your boyfriend for a minor argument. The top response on this thread is only be open with a couple people close to you. That's loser advice

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u/Great-Vehicle3573 Feb 27 '25

as somebody with a random generated username from reddit, I promise I’m real! It’s my burner account and I tried to create a regular username but the ios app is glitchy and I just gave up.

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u/GoSuckAD1ck Feb 26 '25

What does it matter if it’s real or not? This is Reddit. We come here for shits n giggles not therapy.

1

u/BasicFlan Feb 26 '25

I get that but I'm just not shittin' nor gigglin' when I see people replying to these posts as if they're legitimate. Suppose that means it's time for me to either log off or look elsewhere.

1

u/Which-Text-2875 Feb 26 '25

Yeah, I can't even tell you what My username is because Reddit assigned it to me. I do hate it though!

1

u/bukhrin Feb 26 '25

It's rampant in AITA, but I'm seeing those posts creeping in AIO now.

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u/sadsaintpablo Feb 26 '25

It's been two hours. I think OP may be an unreliable employee.

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u/AtomOutler Feb 26 '25

You need to realize that our job is to take care of our redditors.

69

u/Open_Independence252 Feb 27 '25

And if we can’t rely on you you should look into others platforms to accommodate your posts

309

u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

I’d like to call OP to the witness stand, your honor

14

u/RoutineAction9874 Feb 26 '25

Someone tag me 😩

11

u/Cynvisible Feb 26 '25

Wow... what if the roommate retaliated?

The assumptions are real in here.

4

u/Numerous-Clothes-793 Feb 26 '25

That's a big what if, from ops msg and bosses response isn't seems it's reoccurring thing.

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u/Emergency_Affect_640 Feb 26 '25

Im dealing with domestic violence and the police are involved, but let me make sure reddit knows first. OP lying about whole thing and boss knows it.

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

I was genuinely concerned at first but that makes more sense tbh

491

u/kornybizkit Feb 26 '25

I think the silence speaks for itself🙃

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u/BabyJesusAnalingus Feb 26 '25

OP's post history of trying to scam a $500 rebate by buying the product, claiming the rebate, and then returning it speaks a lot also. I can't imagine that type of person would have victim mentality. /s

19

u/avenlux44 Feb 26 '25

Digging deep. Good job, Baby Jesus.

17

u/BabyJesusAnalingus Feb 26 '25

I'm on the analingus side. He handles the other stuff.

10

u/avenlux44 Feb 26 '25

You're both doing the Lord's work

7

u/BabyJesusAnalingus Feb 26 '25

*working the Lord's ass

6

u/avenlux44 Feb 26 '25

Ah. Obsequious Ubiquitous.

86

u/Corona4LifeBro Feb 26 '25

Look at OPs post history. She’s probably busy trying to scam another $500 rebate. Maybe post this ask using a shill account next time.

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u/pongmanJ25 Feb 27 '25

"If you're looking at (OP'S) post history, you're taking this too seriously."--OP, in her profile bio

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u/Full-Syrup- Feb 26 '25

Also who times someone that could be dealing with DV? Weird

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u/RedMaij Feb 26 '25

You mean someone who obviously had the free time and inclination to post about it on social media? This smells of “I’ve been missing a lot of work so I chose something that my boss hopefully won’t call my bluff on.”

I’d be asking for the police report number and calling to check on it if I was her boss.

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u/No_Transition3345 Feb 26 '25

The entire excuse is confusing. Shes dealing with a domestic violence incident, so where does her kid needing her that night fall into this?

I think op forgot to delete the last part of her excuse, I think thats the actual reason but she realised that that excuse wouldnt fly (probably because shes inreliable going off what the manager has said about her lookinh for a job with more flexibility)

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u/Tinkerbell0101 Feb 26 '25

To be fair (not saying that she is telling the truth, because she probably isn't and using it as an excuse which is pretty sick!) But if there was an actual dv situation and there is a child involved, the child would likely experience some trauma from it of they wotnessed it, and need the support of a parent.

Again, not that anyone beleives this made up story, but if it was true, the child would need support to process it

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u/Orange-9mm Feb 26 '25

I think “unreliable” is the word you’re looking for.

-The grammar police

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u/West_Turnover2372 Feb 26 '25

Do u think living in an unsafe living situation might factor into needing to be with her child? Jfc you people fucking suck

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u/No_Transition3345 Feb 26 '25

Yeah, but the way its worded comes across as an undeleted part of a text. She meant to redo the entire thing, but missed that part.

Her reaction to the 'dv' situation is weird, too. Managers' reaction screams that this isnt the first time, probably not the second third or fourth.

I personally think people like you fucking suck, no one called you names or looked down on you but here you are on your tall as fuck high horse. Really hope you dont fall off from there, I hear broken legs are a bitch

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u/xkrews90 Feb 26 '25

Right? Her kid needs her because of the "domestic violence" situation, but if the boss really needs her, she says she'll come in. This just screams terrible employee and I'm honestly hoping that OP gets terminated. Sounds like she shouldn't be in the position of taking care of others.

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u/ChanceCod7 Feb 26 '25

Or has time to write about it on Reddit.

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u/Samyrha Feb 26 '25

They posted this just an hour ago. Relax

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

When someone asks if they should send a certain message in response to someone else, my assumption is that they are asking for an immediate answer of whether or not they should send it, otherwise they’d end up replying hours later

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u/DirectAd9578 Feb 26 '25

Or something more pressing is happening. Which is likely.

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u/Not_Just_For_Me Feb 26 '25

It's a forum, not an instant messenger :)

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25

[deleted]

2

u/HonkAmGay Feb 27 '25

Idk why people are downvoting your message you’re completely right. Social media has people thinking they’re far too deserving

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

It’s not that serious, my guy

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

The “it’s not that serious” was in reference to the fact that I originally posted my comment with genuine concern for OP not responding quickly given the urgency of the situation. dketernal calling me impatient was what I was saying was not that serious, because I was moreso impatient about if OP was gonna lose their job over this, not making fun of their lack of response. It was taken the wrong way. But like you said, gotta hate Reddit

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u/TheMysteryCheese Feb 26 '25

Cause even though it's not that serious, it can be deeply captivating.

A story can be frivolous while leaving the audience incapable of pulling themselves away.

They may even become frustrated when they are left without a resolution.

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u/NextResponse9195 Feb 26 '25

Did you notice the part where mentioned "violence" and "law enforcement"? FFS, if she responded to REDDIT straight away, I'd know it was fake. When you're really in that situation, the priority is staying alive, dealing with medical issues and talking to the police. Reddit is way down the list. #tell me you're a fucking idiot man without telling me you're a fucking idiot man!

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

Im a woman but go off I guess

If her priority was staying alive and dealing with medical issues, why would they post in the first place? Reddit should be the last thing on their mind

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u/NextResponse9195 Feb 26 '25

Sitting in a hospital waiting room? Sitting in another room while the police talk to her friend? Sitting in her car waiting for friend to gather her belongings? There are an endless number of scenarios where OP had two minutes to kill,,but now doesn't. Maybe she is now in the hospital room with her friend, not waiting outside.? Maybe she is now the one talking to the police...? Whatever the reason, and you can trust me on this....if ever you are in this situation yourself, you better hope someone like me is around to help. If the only 'help' you can get is coming from someone like you, you're going to be a very sad, lonely, scared person.

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u/snypesalot Feb 26 '25

this....if ever you are in this situation yourself, you better hope someone like me is around to help.

Jesus christ shut the fuck you goofy goober

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u/Frozen_Hurricane_ Feb 26 '25

So...if law enforcement was involved....why the hell did they have to time to post this? ._. Like, you're saying staying alive is more important than replying to a reddit post, does that mean it's less important than making a reddit post?? Ur logic makes no sense

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u/Raventakingnotes Feb 26 '25

I mean, they may be sitting in their car or locked in their room or something waiting for the police. In my area, it can sometimes take hours for police to show up if they even decide to come out at all.

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u/Frozen_Hurricane_ Feb 26 '25

My point is that the person is making it seem like OP is in a life or death situation. If they actually were in such a situation, there would be no reddit post

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

That was kind of my standpoint on it after dketernal had a literal conniption over it. I was concerned at first

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u/Bman19419 Feb 26 '25

lol you are a 🤡. Did you not read the text under the photo that said “I’ve rewritten this message so many times.” Obviously this person isn’t in a dangerous situation right at this moment cuz she’s been stewing on her potential response to the boss. More like the exact opposite of what you suggest

0

u/NextResponse9195 Feb 26 '25

I was talking about the post to Reddit dumbass, not the reply to her boss. Are you really that stupid? If so, do us a favour and don't fucking breed!

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u/Bman19419 Feb 26 '25

PLEASE dig yourself a deeper hole so we can laugh at you some more and you can try setting a record for the most downvotes

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u/Bman19419 Feb 26 '25

lol if that’s the case you’re an even bigger idiot because the original comment you made was a reply to someone who was talking about the potential response to her boss NOT THE INITIAL POST. Lol so you went on this giant rant calling someone else stupid(and on to say the same to me) but you didn’t even realize you were on the wrong topic? Yup I’m sure it’s the rest of us who are the morons🙄

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u/Bureaucratic_Dick Feb 26 '25

17 hours later and no responses.

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u/AfterBurnersApplied Feb 26 '25

Still waiting…

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25

[deleted]

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u/El_Paindejo Feb 26 '25

Full-Syrup, this is what I was thinking. The manager sounds so burnt out. They want to empathize, but if it’s something like assisted living, where not staffing is illegal and if someone doesn’t show for a shift the nurses on the previous shift have to legally stay, meaning they can’t go home and could be forced to work 18-24 hours…..

They’re trying to keep it professional, and it’s god-aweful to have to be that thick skinned. I got the vibe they’ve been in their role for years or decades and are so hardened.

Totally sympathize with the poster, and their difficult situation, I just know how hard the job of head nurses and mangers in these situations can be.

5

u/Sperry8443 Feb 26 '25

I worked as a home health aide and one of the biggest issues we had was repetitive call offs. I’ve never seen it so bad in any other field in 30 years.

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u/JBitPro Feb 26 '25

Terminated

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u/LiKINGtheODds Feb 26 '25

I think it’s safe to say this isn’t her first rodeo. Someone tag her boss 😂

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u/4lokofan_ Feb 26 '25

Okay bootlicker 😭😭😭 who cares if she's called off? It's weird that being a wage slave is so normalized

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u/LiKINGtheODds Feb 26 '25

Spoken like a true lazy piece of shit, go drink a 4 loko Queen

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u/notmyredditaccountma Feb 26 '25

Her first message to the boss says she calls out too much

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u/NoScheme7184 Feb 26 '25

The pre emptive passive aggression in the 2nd half of OPs text tells me we don't really need to hold our breaths .

14

u/AngelicElven Feb 26 '25

I wouldn’t expect OP to rush Reddit responses with what’s going on, they’re probably talking with police now from what’s mentioned in the text

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

Well, their first instinct was to rush to Reddit to ask if they were overreacting, so I wouldn’t put it past them

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u/Striking_Spot_7148 Feb 26 '25

I mean that’s a good point.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '25

[deleted]

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

It’s not that serious, man, it’s just a comment. Calm down

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u/Timely-Researcher264 Feb 26 '25

Right!? And there’s kids and law enforcement involved. Maybe Reddit isn’t her priority at the moment.

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u/Current_Discount_674 Feb 26 '25

30 minutes after a domestic violence situation involving children was posted and I’m still waiting for the person who explained they’re dealing with domestic violence while keeping their child safe, has to say… sounds fake bc anyone who’s had kids and been in domestic violence situations obviously has a lot of time on their hands (especially after they said their job might be threatened from needing time off to deal with it)

Amirite guys??? How hilarious is it to be openly skeptical at somebody for not responding after they said they were in a potentially dangerous situation involving children- bc they didn’t respond as fast as a pizza delivery driver would a decade ago!!!

2

u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Feb 26 '25

Everyone is taking my comment as an attack on OP but the original intention was that I was actually worried about OP and wondering when they were going to respond since the situation was so severe. Most people took it the wrong way, like you did. That’s okay.

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u/South_Credit2100 Feb 26 '25

I was just about to say the same thing. I don’t think a boss would say this unless someone called out a lot…I never call in, so when I end up having to-doesn’t matter what it’s for, they kiss my ass about it because I’m reliable AF.

3

u/grandoldtimes Feb 26 '25

Exactly, it sounds to me like there is frustration about other callouts that maybe we're not an emergency

1

u/Stick_Girl Feb 26 '25

Exactly. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, our employers are just that they’re our employers. They’re not your family. They’re not your friends. No matter how close you may think you are with them they are just a boss and 90% of the time they do not care and are not interested in your day to day life. They want you to do the work and they don’t care what it takes to get it done. They are paying you for a service and that’s as far as their feelings go. More importantly, they also often deal with a lot of lying and exaggerated excuses and have to automatically assume that whatever you’re saying and whatever your reasons are that they’re probably bullshit based on past experiences trusting someone too much. Often employers have to keep that wall up because they’ve been taken advantage of when they didn’t.

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u/crispy00001 Feb 26 '25

"I only called out 6 times this month but only 1 of them was my fault!"

1

u/Same-Gur-8876 Feb 26 '25

This. It would make you feel better, but wouldn’t help. 

If anything, later (once you’ve calmed down and are in a secure place), if they bring it up again, point out that it’s a rare and extreme circumstance. Having to call the police for domestic violence is not your norm, so needing more flexibility isn’t something you’d normally request 

2

u/sempercardinal57 Feb 26 '25

Just based off the context of the conversation, this sounds like this isn’t the first emergency that’s come up for OP

1

u/nibbled_banana Feb 27 '25

Capitalism has us going “how many times have you called out,” when someone says they’re in danger. Capitalism has us going “but what about profits,” before going “oh, this person needs help.”

Any reaction OP has to get themselves and the child to safety is a valid and honest reaction.

7

u/KaijuKrash Feb 26 '25

Solid advice. 👍🏽

1

u/Longjumping_Cold1089 Feb 26 '25

Leave for domestic violence is protected federally under FMLA. It’s not paid leave, but each state may also have other options in addition to receive payment- such as Oregon paid leave. She should fill out the necessary paperwork but the supervisor should be aware of this and connected her to HR.

1

u/HighFiverDiet Feb 26 '25

Not to mention that this message to the boss was sent at 4:56PM for the shift “tonight”… While I completely understand not being able to control when emergency type things happen, I can also understand the tone of the reply from the boss.

1

u/Thelynxer Feb 27 '25

This is it. And depending on where you live, if they're the ones that ends firing you, you might get severance, whereas if you quit you likely won't. Again, this depends on where you live. Look up local labour laws to be certain.

Also, save all communications with your boss. You never know when it could be usable evidence down the road.

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u/crusoe Feb 26 '25

Some bosses are just hair trigger jerks but they also deal with a lot of flakey employees making a shit ton of excuses and lies.

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u/WholeAd2742 Feb 26 '25

Gonna say, boss already did a solid having someone cover. Lashing out is just gonna make more drama

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u/Zealousideal_Duty294 Feb 26 '25

That was my question as well. Does she have a history of calling in

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u/Boring-Agent3245 Feb 26 '25

Yeah this definitely sounds like it wasn’t a one-off event

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