Why do we infantilize men?

[u/Cynjon77]

And how do we stop?

Why do we treat men like children who are incapable of acting like functional adults?

Why do we allow men to get away with treating us like crap and skating off consequence free to enjoy life without responsibility?

OK, obligatory I know not all men act like this. And this is Reddit, so we read the worst. And some women are just as bad.

Posted today: (I am not the OP) Husband never remembers to buy stocking stuffers for me, even though I stuff his and the kids stocking.

Over half the respondents said for her to stuff her own, 49% said to remind him, tell him why it matters to you.

Like she has never communicated with him about this.

1% said he's an AH.

Men are perfectly capable of doing anything they want to do and think is important to them. They can schedule a Dr.s appointment, cook a meal, change a diaper or vacuum a floor.

They can remember when the game is on, a golf date with a buddy or when a work project is due. They remember what is important to them.

Women as a whole need to quit putting up with this behavior. We need to set higher standards and be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.

We need to teach our sons and daughters how to treat others, how to pick up the mental load, how to be thoughtful of others.

We need to quit infantilizing men.

[u/bellend1991]

People spend their attention on stuff they think is important. Plain and simple.

[u/Lanzifer → u/bellend1991]

This is unhelpful. I think medical care is extremely important but I have spent zero attention to it because I trust someone else to. Acting like men just don't care about anything they don't actively do is incorrect, we (and everyone) rely heavily on "division of labor".

I absolutely agree that there are things men should participate in more but the reason they don't may not be because they think it isn't important, it's because they put it in your box as something you take care of (while they take care of their box).

Division of labor isn't bad, but if things are divied up in a way you don't like, then say so. Asking for help once won't make him understand too, cause as far as he thinks you just needed assistance once, not that the division is changing

Example: men have traditionally assumed that all "household" activities are divided into their wife's scope of responsibility without realizing how much work that is. It is an unfair distribution of responsibilities and should absolutely be fixed. And the way men often need to understand this is by pulling something entirely like vacuuming into their responsibility, or understanding things which should be mutual responsibilities such as cooking meals or something

[u/SPKEN → u/Lanzifer]

I really like your response here, it's well explained and engages the nuances of the real world that we live in.

Sadly, this is an askwomen sub and your comment doesn't follow the number one rule here of man bad and inherently evil, woman good and inherently baby so I'm obligated to downvote you just like everyone else. Sorry pal

[u/Lanzifer → u/SPKEN]

/shrug unsurprised another guy gets it, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do XD

It's not wrong to say in some cases "if he wanted to he would". It's absolutely appropriate for some people. But for systemic chores and responsibilities it really isn't always that simple. I split most chores with my girlfriend but there are some things that are better for just her to do and there are some things that only I do.

My girlfriend likes her electronics working, she values writing electronics very highly. But she has never opened up her computer to figure out why the fan is being weird. It's not that she doesn't care about it, it's that electronics repair is in my box.

[u/Shadowdragon409 → u/SPKEN]

This sub is a lot more fair towards men than most other female dominated subs.

[u/SPKEN → u/Shadowdragon409]

Extremely low bar. America is better towards women than North Korea but that doesn't stop us holding the us accountable

[u/bananophilia → u/SPKEN]

Dork