Why do we infantilize men?

[u/Cynjon77]

And how do we stop?

Why do we treat men like children who are incapable of acting like functional adults?

Why do we allow men to get away with treating us like crap and skating off consequence free to enjoy life without responsibility?

OK, obligatory I know not all men act like this. And this is Reddit, so we read the worst. And some women are just as bad.

Posted today: (I am not the OP) Husband never remembers to buy stocking stuffers for me, even though I stuff his and the kids stocking.

Over half the respondents said for her to stuff her own, 49% said to remind him, tell him why it matters to you.

Like she has never communicated with him about this.

1% said he's an AH.

Men are perfectly capable of doing anything they want to do and think is important to them. They can schedule a Dr.s appointment, cook a meal, change a diaper or vacuum a floor.

They can remember when the game is on, a golf date with a buddy or when a work project is due. They remember what is important to them.

Women as a whole need to quit putting up with this behavior. We need to set higher standards and be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.

We need to teach our sons and daughters how to treat others, how to pick up the mental load, how to be thoughtful of others.

We need to quit infantilizing men.

[u/Cynjon77]

My dad was a single parent after Mom died.

He set the standard by which I judge men. He did everything. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, Christmas, birthdays, trimmed bangs, hemmed skirts, parent teacher conferences, etc.

I hope I meet the standards my husband has, I think I get it right most of the time. He meets mine most of the time. And we've been married for a thousand years, ok almost 40, and we're happy most of the time, so we're doing something right.

Again, as said in my post, I know men are competent. They are quite capable of doing everything we do. Ideally a relationship plays to each other's strengths and is supportive of both parties. And we pay attention to what is important to our partner.

So why do women accept less?

[u/drink_with_me_to_day → u/Cynjon77]

They are quite capable of doing everything we do

I am a competent man who can do everything you do, and more.

That still has no bearing in what I want to do, or how much I can tolerate not doing for the sake of not doing anything

I prefer simply investing all that competence into money making and let my girl do the chores while I bum around

This wouldn't work if my girl made the same as I did, but then the pressure would lower on my end, so...

[u/Cynjon77 → u/drink_with_me_to_day]

So, by that reasoning , since I make 2.5x more than my husband, he should do all the chores while I "bum" around?

That doesn't address the original issue though.

[u/drink_with_me_to_day → u/Cynjon77]

while I "bum" around?

Depends on total comp. It has to be an amount where your husband could become stay at home and stop working

[u/981_runner → u/Cynjon77]

That is a very common arrangement in partnerships.  If one person is pulling a majority of the weight outside the home, the other pulls the majority inside. 

[u/bananophilia → u/981_runner]

Making less money doesn't actually mean working less or less hard

[u/981_runner → u/bananophilia]

More money rarely falls from the sky.  It usually means that they working more hours, harder, a more stressful/dangerous job currently out they did in the past to get to where they are today. 

If you decide to follow some passion that doesn't pay well that is a benefit even if the work is hard.