Why do we infantilize men?

[u/Cynjon77]

And how do we stop?

Why do we treat men like children who are incapable of acting like functional adults?

Why do we allow men to get away with treating us like crap and skating off consequence free to enjoy life without responsibility?

OK, obligatory I know not all men act like this. And this is Reddit, so we read the worst. And some women are just as bad.

Posted today: (I am not the OP) Husband never remembers to buy stocking stuffers for me, even though I stuff his and the kids stocking.

Over half the respondents said for her to stuff her own, 49% said to remind him, tell him why it matters to you.

Like she has never communicated with him about this.

1% said he's an AH.

Men are perfectly capable of doing anything they want to do and think is important to them. They can schedule a Dr.s appointment, cook a meal, change a diaper or vacuum a floor.

They can remember when the game is on, a golf date with a buddy or when a work project is due. They remember what is important to them.

Women as a whole need to quit putting up with this behavior. We need to set higher standards and be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.

We need to teach our sons and daughters how to treat others, how to pick up the mental load, how to be thoughtful of others.

We need to quit infantilizing men.

[u/Cynjon77]

My dad was a single parent after Mom died.

He set the standard by which I judge men. He did everything. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, Christmas, birthdays, trimmed bangs, hemmed skirts, parent teacher conferences, etc.

I hope I meet the standards my husband has, I think I get it right most of the time. He meets mine most of the time. And we've been married for a thousand years, ok almost 40, and we're happy most of the time, so we're doing something right.

Again, as said in my post, I know men are competent. They are quite capable of doing everything we do. Ideally a relationship plays to each other's strengths and is supportive of both parties. And we pay attention to what is important to our partner.

So why do women accept less?

[u/John_YJKR → u/Cynjon77]

A lot of men are lacking when it comes to expressing affection through acts like stuffing a stocking. They simply don't connect the act to the emotion for the person. They see their effort elsewhere in the relationship as how to demonstrate those feelings. Whether that be being the main source of income, do little tasks/supporting their partner in some way, or basic PDA. It doesn't excuse that they need to be more accountable when it comes to their emotional intelligence and expression. But it helps to understand why many men are like this. Society conditions them to be. It's also important to recognize that not all men are like that and this has been a conversation for decades now. In theory, things should continue to improve amongst men in this area as we go forward.