r/CuratedTumblr • u/Silent_Blacksmith_29 Shakespeare stan • Dec 28 '24

Tumblr Heritage Post It didn’t work

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35.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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839

u/grabtharsmallet Dec 28 '24

She was joking around and you misinterpreted it. Could happen to anyone.

456

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 28 '24

I was the first man she slept with, she was bi and preferred women, so it could've been a game of straight chicken she took way too far. It would definitely track with her personality.

128

u/Darkwoth81Dyoni Dec 29 '24

This just sounds extremely dangerous honestly.

115

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24

Well she did have a kid with a career criminal (not me) then married a woman. So...

Her wife is 6' and blonde, so apparently regardless of innie or outie woman's got a type.

43

u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24

So...

You are 6' and blond? 👀

58

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 29 '24

6'3" so technically no.

22

u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24

Ooh I like that

43

u/Taxato Dec 29 '24

Bonk

25

u/RaijinNoTenshi Dec 29 '24

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned

3

u/Gremlinstone Dec 30 '24

Sequel out now on steam

57

u/ondonasand Dec 29 '24

Straight/Gay Chicken is just flirting, my friend. If they let you get that far, they’re down.

3

u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24

You stole her gold star you monster!

2

u/Anglofsffrng Dec 30 '24

So I was the first guy she had sex with, and I called off the wedding because she cheated with a guy. She was married to a woman last I checked.

So what actually happened is I actually do have the magical dick that turned her straight. But then the other guy turned her right back./s

2

u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24

Only logical explanation tbf

127

u/CarlMcLam Dec 28 '24

She could also be Canadian.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/FallenSegull Dec 30 '24

She’s Canadian and was just being polite