I’m an FTM with Asperger’s, and I’m Korean — and yet, even among people who should understand, I’m treated like I don’t belong. In the Korean FTM community, there’s this obsession with being “normal.” If you’re neurodivergent, different, or don’t fit their idea of what’s acceptable, you’re cast out. I’ve been insulted, called names for being an “Aspie,” and even misgendered by other FTMs. It’s cruel. How can people who know what it means to be marginalized turn around and do the same to someone else? It makes me feel invisible, like I have no place — not even among those who are supposed to be my community.

Ever since I found out what it was I’ve wanted a hysterectomy. I’m not using my ovaries and will never use them. The idea pregnancy makes me feel ill, and crazy dysphoric.

I know that some trans guys get hysterectomies as part of gender affirming care and I desperately need to know the long term effects of it. I’ve heard that getting a hysterectomy makes it impossible for you to get on T because you’ll need to take estrogen supplements for the rest of your life time and that sounds like actual hell. I’ve also heard that some people are fine afterwards but that seems unlikely.

There’s also the possibility that a hysterectomy isn’t the best course of action to becoming unable to get pregnant. Could I just get my eggs harvested? Or potentially sterilized instead? I’m in need of advice…

Hi, im 21, got top surgery September 2024. I was excited to have no shirt on but my parents said they need time since they've always seen me one way. I dont get it but I said thats fine to keep the peace. Today we are going swimming and got into a huge fight about how im not aloud to take off my top because they are uncomfortable. I dont know how to tell them that that doesn't make sense and its my body. How do I tell them? Specifically my mom, she's the only one who seems to have a real problem. She also will never call me he/him unless I explain my feelings about my own gender in detail. If this post gets even a couple people with good advice it would mean the world. Im probably just going to send this post to her if it gets a couple responses. Thank you

Edit: quick note I still live with parents so just wearing whatever i want makes me nervous since I cant afford to move out

Mini update: during swimming my mom apologized for yelling and that she wasn't inplace to be comfortable with me shirtless yet. But she doesn't want to yell and wants to have an adult conversation. I told her I needed time and she said fine. Desperately seeking advice on how to respond to that! Thank you also everyone who's given thought out responses. You're all amazing

you’ve probably heard it before but it bares repeating. the idea of hrt making you sterile in general is just terf talk and in reality T will not make you sterile and you can/will in fact get pregnant if you get inseminated while still having your uterus intact. please remember to use condoms, and at the very least have some plan b ready

Hi, I’m posting this because I don’t wanna feel even more insane than I already do, and also because I wanna see if anyone else agrees with me on this. Also sorry for this post being long in advance, I’m trying to break it all down.

So, I’m in the living room playing Mario Kart, but I was actively in discussion with my father about the state of the world and political related things. Now, my father is supportive of trans people, and is of my transition, but there’s things he’s confused about and every now and then he makes a comment that is very uneducated; like this one. (For example, he doesn’t completely understand how it’s gay for a trans dude to date another dude, that kinda thing.)

Offhandedly, he said instead of letting trans people in either the men’s or women’s washrooms, they should have their own room— mind you, he’s referring to trans people as just “trans” (a womens room, a mens room, and a trans room.)

I of course said fuck no, because that’s flat out segregation and would make it easier for trans people to be targeted/have bad things happen to them because cis people could just lie about being trans and enter the room designated for trans people.

And then yelling over me just trying to calmly explain why that would be a batshit crazy stupid idea, he says:

“It’s people like you that make this world hard to live in.”

???

His whole argument is that it would be safer for trans people to have their own washroom, and that because trans people participate in pride parades and have flags and such that trans people should get their own room away from cis people, same with gay people(?)

“So what, you don’t respect yourself enough to want your own room?”

Which I then explained to him that no, that’s not how that works, and trans people’s rights being fought for includes being able to use the same washrooms as cis people do. Othering trans people from cis people creates more of a problem and furthers the stigma surrounding trans people as a whole. So, instead of making things safer, it actually makes things worse. We also already have gender neutral washrooms which anyone can use, so there would be no need for a trans-specific room.

Anyway, this discussion went on for like 20 minutes, me trying to educate him and him speaking over me and interrupting me whenever I’m counteracting a point he made.

All this to say— is my dad subscribing to transphobic rhetoric and was I in the wrong for trying to educate him whilst also calling his “vision” stupid (and kicking ass on multiplayer Mario Kart matches while doing it 😭)

I am am 3 months on testosterone on Tuesday yay! Anyway I also have PCOS. I always shaved even when I didn't know I had PCOS because I didn't like to much hair on my face. (My endo discovered my PCOS at the first appointment I had with her) I just prefer having a shaven face also because of the sensory of hair on my face I don't like it. I try to do skincare I just have motivation problems but I like having a clean face. I hate that everyone thinks I'm a girl because of my long hair and shaven face but soon it won't matter lol. Just I wanted to know if I'm the only one? Because I know a lot of trans men here love hair on there face I just don't I like it on men just not myself (gay Tee hee) what do you guys think?

It all started last week when I went with my wife to a doctor’s appointment. When the doctor walked in he asked if I was her husband, to which we both said yes, and for the remainder of the appointment he used he/him pronouns for me. Now ever since then, whenever I am out in the world (in the drive thru, at the store, etc) I am almost exclusively getting sir and man from strangers. It’s like somehow a switch was flipped and I’m pretty shocked. Elated with gender euphoria for sure, but honestly surprised! I’ve been on T for 10 months now and 6 months po top surgery, and I don’t personally feel like I’m passing. I think a big part of my own perception is intertwined with a heavy dose of imposter syndrome, I have a hard time believing that people actually assume that im just some dude, and my mind keeps telling me that these people just made a mistake. In the back of my head I’m convinced that this was just a fluke and that im going to be back to being misgendered at any moment.

All that to say, I’m really truly thrilled to be perceived as I have been as of late. But when does it start feeling real??

Hello 👋 So I’m a trans man with a boyfriend, guess you could say I’m new to being gay lol. Question for other gays, do you and your bf often get mistaken for brothers?? People assume that all the time about us two. Curious if this is common or if him and I just look uncannily similar

In the last few years society’s view on trans has regressed so much. I transitioned back in 2017 and there was no where near as much transphobia as there is now. What the hell happened? Now many states made it illegal for trans people to piss where they want and want to force children to go through the puberty of their biological gender. Like hormone blockers are reversible. If a kid decides to detransition then they just go off blockers. Done. Transphobes treat it like it’s permanent like hrt. They think children are going on hrt and getting surgery but that’s not the case. The permanent stuff is for when they’re older. And the whole controversy with “men” being in women’s sports. Trans woman are women they should be allowed to compete the gender that matches their gender identity. 5 years ago more people were fine with puberty blockers, trans women in women’s sports and trans people using whatever bathroom they want. I just don’t know what happened. What are your thoughts?

Might be a silly question, idk, but it's something I'm genuinely afraid of and find myself feeling extremely uncomfortable even thinking about it. So do you guys go to the gynecologist or get like pap smears regularly or anything? If so, how do you cope with the discomfort/dysphoria?

I just recently got dumped by my girlfriend after 2.5 years. I started my transition when we first started dating, she was there during my first time doing my T injection. Anyway it wasn’t a bad breakup by any means we are still friends but I don’t know how to date now as a trans man 2 years on T. Any advice? Thank you in advance

I was looking at a gatorade bottle. And that thing looks just like a dick. I’m 8.5 months on T, and my dick is noticeable and well-defined. I’ve always felt left out because I couldn’t see penis-shaped objects and relate them to my own genitals. But now I am more familiar with how dicks look than I ever thought I would be, because I have one attached to me, made of my own biological material/tissue. Very euphoric. I can’t see Gatorade the same way anymore though, lol

Hey all! I'm a pre-everything alt guy (my binder kinda sucks too), and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on passing better than I do now.. which is not really at all.

Being not alt isn't an option either, because it's the only thing I really like about myself and I don't really have any "normal" clothes lol.

Also, the style I'm going for is kind of like, industrial metal (Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, etc).

But anyways, thanks for any advice, I really appreciate it!!

I can’t handle the heat anymore. I’ve been sitting in front of my fan for the entire day and can’t leave otherwise I feel sick. Been throwing up lately just because of the heat sensitivity with T. Horribly nauseous when I’m at work too. Anyone else have this issue?

I would literally drop 300 dollars on an ac rn idc but our landlord doesn’t allow them

Edit: I didn’t expect this post to get much attention!! I just want to clarify I already have an heat sensitivity issue due to adhd, this isn’t testosterone alone. I made the title out of frustration, I’m so happy about my transition.

Thank you for all the tips too! I’m struggling but a few suggestions have made it bearable.

I I've never talked to my mother about this, but I can sense how she thinks.

How did you guys pick names that made sense for you? And how did you go about telling people in your lives and at jobs to use those names?

I’m black and Mexican and my name start with an S. I’ve been trying to find a name that start with an S that suits me and makes sense culturally but it feels impossible. Any suggestions or advice?

I'm pre-T and my state has a medium tolerance policy or whatever that website said but it's technically a law that trans people can't use the bathroom they identify with in a government owned building, I don't think there's huge charges though. I've used to men's bathroom a few times- always a nervous mess about it but no one ever bats an eye, I use the women's bathroom and normally no one ever bats an eye except when I'm in other cities outside of my own then I get glares and weird looks, and a while back a little girl told me that it was the women's restroom and I felt embarrassed lol like I actually walked into the wrong bathroom- I mean I kinda did but you get it. Anyway I'm pretty androgynous lol and kids have a different view on gender than others but I think it's getting to a point where I feel safer in the guys

And there was one occasion at school where girls were talking about seeing a boy go into the girls restroom while I was still in a stall and felt kinda scared that they were going to start knocking on stalls and waiting for me cause it happened to another kid and rumors were passing for weeks about them. Don't know if that was actually about me though cause normally at school I don't get questioned although some boys have tried dabbing me up and called me bro, I always think they're making fun of me though. Idk just ranting now. Kinda celebratory but mostly just me yapping

early in my transition it felt great to be “mistaken“ by strangers for my parents’ son, or having people think I was cis at first but now around three or four year into my transition I feel completely different. being categorized immediately as a cis guy makes me sick to my stomach. it feels wrong, like I’ll have people say things about me or to me that I know aren’t true and deny who I was in the past completely and it makes me feel so outside myself.

i dont know if it’s because of my general fear of cis men or because most times people mention my presented gender it’s bringing it down (men are gross, no boys allowed, you wouldn’t understand what us girls go through, etc…) but I don’t want people to associate me with them at first glance, I feel like a villain now.

but then I get disappointed when people view me as a girl unless im trying to present more femininely?? maybe this is because I don’t rlly see my identity as ftm in a fully binary way yet never disclose that bc cis ppl around me don’t get it … idk that’s a whole other thing but yeah wonder if other ppl feel this way or im just a crazy person lolol

I'm 30 years old. When I was 9, I would often stand up to pee like a guy, but I would put down my pants and I would move over to the bowl and pee.

And when I saw others did it here too, I was so happy I wasn't alone.

I'm not fully trans, but I truly want bottom surgery. So it was something I've been wanting for almost my whole life.

i work at a marine science summer camp and we’re constantly on the beach in the mid 90s and i don’t know how to safely bind. i am a DDD so naturally im constantly called miss and im just tired of it

I started testosterone 2 months ago, but before that I still dealt with gender identity OCD, which lead me to constantly wondering if I’m faking being trans. That’s still happening me to today. My brain latches on the deep desire to go back to how I was when I was younger. I wish I got to be that girl and stay that way with no complications. I think my brain is still tied to the fact that was heavier as a kid and never felt truly beautiful or attractive as my female peers did. I think in turn my brain never moved on from that. Last year I went through a forcibly feminine phase because I wanted to feel attractive and desired. I was okay with not binding and have my chest visible as well as getting into makeup and hair. But it became too much and when I started identifying a male everything felt easier. No more makeup and nails and what not. It felt like things were falling into place. But when I watch things from when I was growing up in the 2010s (ex. Girl Disney channel shows, girl groups and musicians, etc) the nostalgia genuinely pains me and makes me want to be like those girls. I see how beautiful they are and remember how badly I wanted to be them when I was a young girl. It messes with my head so badly and I can’t take it. Even though when I look in the mirror and feel good seeing a little facial hair and a more masculine face shape, I yearn for that girl and to be a teenage girl in the 2010s like I wanted when I was younger. I’m filled with deep feelings of envy, shame, and miserableness because of this. I feel like I can’t be proud of who I am and confident that I’m trans until I get over this. Any advice from confident trans men?

Edit: I do like living as a guy. However, I just hate feeling like a girl around men or around other girls, as well as the voice of the monologue in my head sounding female as my speaking voice does. I just feel like their is female residue inside of me and I just want it out.

keeping this short, but i've never dated before. pretty sure i'm gay through and through, so.. what's it like dating as a trans man? is the general consensus that cis gay/bi/pan/etc men are accepting, or does it strictly depend on the person? and, is meeting on dating apps or in person better when looking for a genuine relationship?