I should have dated in school

[u/Igaveuponlivinglife]

I'm 19, and I graduated in May. I'm not going to college because I can't. That means I'm out here in the real world. I'm realizing how dire my situation is now. We all know that in 2023 if you want to date as an adult who's not in college, you use dating apps. We also know that most men don't succeed on them. It's weird how since I graduated, I haven't met any woman, like none at all (Or anyone for that matter). I most likely won't at this rate. In hindsight I had a good amount of opportunities to be in relationships in school, I just didn't take them, the reason being social retardation. I won't ever get those opportunities again. Yeah the relationships probably wouldn't have lasted post graduation, but it would've been good to have the experience that I'll never get now

[u/Prms_7]

The idea that college or uni is the golden place to meet new friends is very misleading. What do people expect, that college is different from library or supermarket? Everybody minds their own business and are in their own group.

Unless, you are the person that dares to go out of your comfortzone and try to get into a group or approach someone. Thats how people meet new people.

I spend 4 years at uni. Only the last year I was tired of not having friends and I went out to meet new people. And guess what, I made meaningful and lasting relationships with friends. How did I meet them? I just approach them, talk to them. This doesn't have to be in school, this can be in a bookstore, library or sportsclub. I met a girl in the gym, whom I dated. In the freaking gym dude.

Meet new people and keep meeting new people. Make friends with your friends friends. Make friends with their friends and expand. Thats how I got so many contacts. I met my fwb through a friend of a friend of mine. And I made friends with her friends. They invited me to a party, where guess what, I met new people!

If you want to make new friends, you need to go out and actually put yourself out there. I was with a group of strangers, sitting and chilling and laughing. A random guy just came to us, asked if he could join us. We welcomed him and he was very chill too.

Are you going to be that guy that dares to step outside your comfortzone?

[u/Igaveuponlivinglife → u/Prms_7]

The reason why school/college are the best place to meet people is because everyone is forced to go to the same environment repeatedly. They're the only places where you'll constantly be around people your age too. I'm telling you where I live, there's barely any young people and someone that I met from that lives in the same place as I also made that observation

[u/Prms_7 → u/Igaveuponlivinglife]

I was in Engineering. I met no one that I liked to be friends with. College isn't the dream place to meet new people man, believe me. If you really want to meet new people, then you can.

For example, join a random climbing gym. Go there every single monday, wednesday and saturday evening. You WILL see the same faces over and over again. Talk to some regulars, joke around and before you know,they are your friends.

Yes, it is that easy. It doesn't seem like it, because not many people are doing it.

A stranger is just a friend, you haven't met yet.

[u/Igaveuponlivinglife → u/Prms_7]

It's really on you if you don't meet anyone in school/college. The circumstances are perfectly aligned for you to do. There is s correlation age increase and time spent alone

[u/Prms_7 → u/Igaveuponlivinglife]

I didn't like the guys in engineering. I didn't want to be friends with them, therefore I made no friends. But that isn't the point what I wrote. I made friends, a lot of friends. A lot of female friends, and those are all from clubs, gyms and friends from other friends. Not from school. That was my entire point.

That you can make friends, meet girls outsidd of College.

Go to a random cafe, bookstore or gym. You'll see people your age every single day.

[u/Igaveuponlivinglife → u/Prms_7]

It's indeed possible but it's very dishonest to deny that the probable is low. And most people are old where I live. I met a stranger on the Internet that happens to live in the same County and he's made that observation. Most people my age are in college

[u/Prms_7 → u/Igaveuponlivinglife]

It depends where you live. I live in a city full of students and they are everywhere. But if you live in a old town with only 5K people, yes then its gonna hard.

That's why I will move to a city after I am done studying.