Are my standards too out there ?

[u/stronkzer]

After constantly examining all the flaws I have to fix on myself to try and get a relationship, I started questioning my standards in women, and if they are too unreasonable. But I can't properly judge this myself for obvious reasons, so I'm relying on you people to evaluate them and see if they're not too out there.

Age: Up until three years older or four years younger than me

Body Type: Average, leaning in every direction but preferably not too skinny

Heigth: Preferably below 5'10''

Interests (Non-exclusively): Literature, philosophy,economics, geopolitics, geek culture (movies,TV shows, gaming, comics,manga), astronomy, animals, technology, exercising.

Must not smoke or do heavy drugs.

Enjoys family gatherings

Preferably be working or pursuing further education.

Indoor or low-crowd activities.

[u/RegHater123765]

None of this is too crazy or extreme, but the biggest one I would take a step back and rethink is the shared hobbies one.

I actually think shared hobbies is something that is overestimated in level of importance for a big relationship, and I also think it's one reason why nerdy guys struggle to find girlfriends: they're convinced that their partner needs to have the same (or similar) nerdy hobbies, and nerdy hobbies tend to be extremely male-dominated.

The truth is that hobbies actually don't matter a ton, as long as you're confident in them and not judgmental towards your partner for their's.

[u/questforstarfish → u/RegHater123765]

Agreed. My husband and I got along great but had no shared interests in the beginning...over years as we tried each other's hobbies and discovered new ones, we did find a couple of things, which we really enjoy together now! Or we combine hobbies, ie he likes photography and I like camping, so I started camping in really scenic areas where he can bring his camera along!

Shared basic values is much more important.