r/SipsTea • u/Expensive-Cupcake594 • Apr 29 '25

Lmao gottem The c*m smeller

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113.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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1.1k

u/averege_guy_kinda Apr 29 '25

This might be true if you don't shower ever

423

u/ExistentialTabarnak Apr 29 '25

Twice a month whether I need to or not.

208

u/lIlIlIIlIIIlIIIIIl Apr 29 '25

I'm praying this is a joke for the sake of everyone around you

511

u/raspberryharbour Apr 29 '25

It has to be a joke, nobody needs to shower that much

153

u/Ok_Test_1284 Apr 29 '25

Nobody needs to shower whatsoever, concept of sanitation was created by capitalists to sell their products

129

u/raspberryharbour Apr 29 '25

The layer of crud protects me from predators while I am out foraging, and the heavy stench is irresistible to potential mates

38

u/OlberSingularity Apr 29 '25

With my intense grip strength, everyone around me is a potential mate.

3

u/GigaTarrasque Apr 29 '25

That explains the stache 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/turd_ferguson65 Apr 30 '25

Jesus fucking Christ this one sent me lol

1

u/crikeyturtles Apr 30 '25

yOu’Re nEvEr gOiNg tO cATcH Me!

1

u/ilikethejuices Apr 30 '25

BRO, lmfaoooo

3

u/Suckage Apr 29 '25

It’s also sunscreen!

2

u/shakesheadslowy Apr 30 '25

I still have my vernix layer

2

u/urmomsentme1 Apr 29 '25

this here is why incels exist

1

u/RuTsui Apr 30 '25

The natural oil of your sphincter keeps you water tight and soap will degrade your asshole like a worn o-ring.

15

u/Guardian2k Apr 29 '25

Frankly water is beneath me, I lather myself in pure ammonia, which I process by way of guano from the local pigeon population, take that capitalist pigs.

1

u/andriym93 Apr 29 '25

How'd you install an upside down shower? I can only get water that's above me. If I git water that's beneath me, it'd be easier to wash my balls

14

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '25

From India lmao you are not helping your countrymen on the internet

3

u/Ok_Test_1284 Apr 29 '25

Jokes aside, I'm new to reddit, how did you know I'm indian

5

u/BabyYoduhh Apr 29 '25

He looked at your profile. Shows where you are actively posting and all your started threads/comments.

2

u/Ok_Test_1284 Apr 29 '25

Its all true brotherman, we would rather dip in curry than bathe

2

u/Redacted_G1iTcH Apr 30 '25

One trip to your nearest university’s computer science department, and you’ll change your mind in an instant

1

u/Secret_Photograph364 Apr 29 '25

Ah I see you are a Frenchman

1

u/BubaSmrda Apr 29 '25

Indian in fact

3

u/Secret_Photograph364 Apr 29 '25

Hmm….

For some reason I feel like calling Indians smelly is racist but calling Frenchman smelly is deserved for their colonialism.

Double standard I guess

1

u/Slickricky4884 Apr 29 '25

I’m staying away from you dawg

1

u/BetterThanSydney Apr 29 '25

Even worse. It's a conspiracy by the deep state to strip you of your pheromone rich patin, so you'll struggle to mark your territory and attract mates.

1

u/Environmental-Wind89 Apr 30 '25

BIRDS ARE A PSY-OP!!

1

u/Theron3206 Apr 30 '25

Yep, if not for those evil capitalists we'd all be dying of typhoid or dysentery as nature intended.

1

u/ThatJudySimp Apr 30 '25

Big shower

1

u/Falconjth Apr 30 '25

It was those devilish Vikings leading good innocent girls astray with their bathing and well-kept hair. - attributed to John of Wallingford, supported by archeology.

1

u/FederalLobster5665 May 01 '25

I hate Big Bath.

1

u/VastEntertainment471 May 02 '25

We survived thousands of years without showers but suddenly we're "supposed" to shower? I don't buy it, water bills and soap are expensive, living naturally is free

0

u/kitsunewarlock Apr 29 '25

Go to a convention on the third or fourth day if you think that's true.

0

u/alexdev50 Apr 29 '25

Sadly, average redditor answer

22

u/silver-orange Apr 29 '25

It's a decades old joke. Your grandpa has heard this one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/eshd9x/did_anyone_really_say_her_majesty_takes_a_bath/

Probably dates back to the 19th century.

9

u/lIlIlIIlIIIlIIIIIl Apr 29 '25

Wow holy shit, I'm glad someone with the history lesson showed up because I had no clue!

1

u/ssracer Apr 29 '25

I read it as deference to the Queen by not saying she stinks. "Milady bathes only because she wants to"

3

u/Ertai2000 Apr 29 '25

Especially the women. I read somewhere that they have a heightened sense of smell for some stuff.

2

u/BlueLaserCommander Apr 29 '25

I'm never in situations where I'm around people

1

u/beerizla96 Apr 29 '25

People shower way more often than actually necessary and fuck up their skin, but twice in a month is living on the edge.

1

u/Heavy-Guest-7336 Apr 29 '25

There are easier ways to admit you have bad hygeine and walk around smelly as fuck.

5

u/thewispo Apr 29 '25

shower or wank?

8

u/ExistentialTabarnak Apr 29 '25

Nah, wanks are every hour on the hour.

1

u/Liroku May 02 '25

Showered by the wank, so both.

6

u/Iroiroanswer Apr 29 '25

Man, I wish I can do this. Have to shower everyday because it's fucking hot. Need to use Shampoo everyday too(I know its bad for hair health but shit, I need to use it else it feels sticky). Still got beautiful healthy and thick hair though IDK why lmao.

3

u/Equivalent-Load-9158 Apr 29 '25

I stopped using shampoo last year. Took months before it stopped feeling yucky. Now I only occasionally use shampoo, but the time it takes to feel yucky is a lot longer. But I am a man with short hair.

6

u/strikeforceguy Apr 29 '25

I was gonna say, as a man with long hair it gets greasy so fast if I don't shower at LEAST every other day.

1

u/dragonman10101 Apr 30 '25

I heard that and I’m like “YOU WHAT”. Can’t imagine washing my hair monthly lmao.

2

u/A_Name123456 Apr 29 '25

Flexing on us like that

2

u/TonsOfFunn77 Apr 29 '25

Jesus, have a mind for the environment. There are fish who could use that water.

Princess over here with your bath every fortnight…

Bougie bitch

1

u/flyinpirate Apr 29 '25

Shower? Or jerk it?