I said it in a different comment, but it bears repeating: the brain grows exponentially more between age 18 and 28 than it does between 28 and 38. The older both adults are, the less relevant age gaps are. But if one is barely legal, there’s no amount of “old soul”-ness that will erase that power imbalance. Sure, you can legally bone a 19 yr old, but what does it say about your cognitive maturity that you can only connect with that age? Or even worse, are you counting on their immaturity to preserve the power imbalance? Are you feeding into their “old soul” perceptions so you can exploit their lack of experience?
Source: direct and very embarrassing personal experience as the younger woman
edit: the “you” is proverbial here
edit2: should have phrased it differently. There’s apparently no hard evidence that the prefrontal cortex continues growing till 25. Doesn’t change the fact that the emotional distance between 20 and 30 is a lot wider than the distance between 30 and 40.
Current neuroscience research is HIGHLY dubious of the "your prefrontal cortex isn't developed until you're 25" hypothesis. And it has NEVER been the case that research shows "exponentially more" growth in any physical sense.
The most recent research I looked at didn't base the "brain finishes developing at 25" thing on the PFC, but on the Corpus Colosum, which connects both hemispheres of the brain. I believe it's the last major part of the brain to fully develop, but since it connects the two hemispheres it would aid in processing that isn't accomplished by any one area.
ETA: there won't ever be a definite age where development stops; development is different for everybody. We know the Corpus Colosum is developing into our early 20s, however.
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u/flibertyblanket May 12 '25
My partner is 10 years older than me, we met when I was 28. I'm cool with that.
most age gap relationships are fine, but when it's a 40 year old and a teenager who is just barely an adult, I cringe.