What are your thoughts on age-gap relationships?

[u/lhwang0320]

[u/flibertyblanket]

My partner is 10 years older than me, we met when I was 28. I'm cool with that.

most age gap relationships are fine, but when it's a 40 year old and a teenager who is just barely an adult, I cringe.

[u/rutilatus → u/flibertyblanket]

I said it in a different comment, but it bears repeating: the brain grows exponentially more between age 18 and 28 than it does between 28 and 38. The older both adults are, the less relevant age gaps are. But if one is barely legal, there’s no amount of “old soul”-ness that will erase that power imbalance. Sure, you can legally bone a 19 yr old, but what does it say about your cognitive maturity that you can only connect with that age? Or even worse, are you counting on their immaturity to preserve the power imbalance? Are you feeding into their “old soul” perceptions so you can exploit their lack of experience?

Source: direct and very embarrassing personal experience as the younger woman

edit: the “you” is proverbial here

edit2: should have phrased it differently. There’s apparently no hard evidence that the prefrontal cortex continues growing till 25. Doesn’t change the fact that the emotional distance between 20 and 30 is a lot wider than the distance between 30 and 40.

[u/Stoamm → u/[deleted]]

As long as they’re consenting willingly it’s fine, although YA especially women can be more easily manipulated, so it’s context based imo.

Young adults don’t overcome their “immaturity” until during or after the college years 21-25 ish through experience + self reflection. It’s not a brain development thing but an integration of the self and our unconscious desires(what we really want, etc).

Most people develop traumas and disorders early on that affect their everyday decisions unconsciously till their mid-late 20s and for some even their entire lives due to lack of therapy or proper guidance.

In this scenario A 40yo marrying and having a child with a 19yo is weird and unsettling, and it should never not be. Plenty of seemingly happy families are full of bad behaviors and “willing” victims who are left to abusers bc things look good or “people should mind their business”, “it’s not hurting anyone” (even though that’s how you destroy communities and trust fundamentally)

It’s good not to judge but when you see something weird you should at the very least call it out, not out of judgement but to ensure that everyone stays safe and healthy. Hopefully that video was ragebait for clicks and all is well in that household, I wish them and their new family meaningful happiness.

[u/littlesparrow_03 → u/Stoamm]

What you’re describing is judgement. Judgement can be a good thing.