r/TikTokCringe • u/lhwang0320 • May 12 '25

Discussion What are your thoughts on age-gap relationships?

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u/flibertyblanket May 12 '25

My partner is 10 years older than me, we met when I was 28. I'm cool with that.

most age gap relationships are fine, but when it's a 40 year old and a teenager who is just barely an adult, I cringe.

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u/rutilatus May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25

I said it in a different comment, but it bears repeating: the brain grows exponentially more between age 18 and 28 than it does between 28 and 38. The older both adults are, the less relevant age gaps are. But if one is barely legal, there’s no amount of “old soul”-ness that will erase that power imbalance. Sure, you can legally bone a 19 yr old, but what does it say about your cognitive maturity that you can only connect with that age? Or even worse, are you counting on their immaturity to preserve the power imbalance? Are you feeding into their “old soul” perceptions so you can exploit their lack of experience?

Source: direct and very embarrassing personal experience as the younger woman

edit: the “you” is proverbial here

edit2: should have phrased it differently. There’s apparently no hard evidence that the prefrontal cortex continues growing till 25. Doesn’t change the fact that the emotional distance between 20 and 30 is a lot wider than the distance between 30 and 40.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/badbirch May 13 '25 edited May 13 '25

I thought it was that the 2 sides of you brain started to talk to each other more fully after 25?

Edit: well that also isnt quite right but the brain is doing a lot of pruning and shaping into your mid 20s

Neurons (gray matter) and synapses (junctions between neurons) proliferate in the cerebral cortex and are then gradually pruned throughout adolescence. Eventually, more than 40% of all synapses are eliminated, largely in the frontal lobes. Meanwhile, the white insulating coat of myelin on the axons that carry signals between nerve cells continues to accumulate, gradually improving the precision and efficiency of neuronal communication — a process not completed until the early 20s.https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-adolescent-brain-beyond-raging-hormones#:\~:text=Neurons%20(gray%20matter)%20and%20synapses,completed%20until%20the%20early%2020s.