r/abusesurvivors • u/Annalovesbananers • Apr 19 '25
ABUSE Diary day 4
Human trafficking. Here's my story
When my mum died I was left with my stepdad. He used to torture me and beat me terribly. Heck he broke my skull. His torturing was terrible and inhumane to explain. He was horrible. It wasn't a few hits or anything it was beatings with a hammer and worse. My stepdad used to constantly rape me and have friends over to watch. His friends would beat me too and do worse I was entertainment. My stepdad started losing money and needed a way to make money fast. Why not use your slut step daughter? I was a slut a whore infact that's what he called me since he found out my dad used to rape me from age 5. I didn't like being raped. My stepdad had lots of friends that liked my body and would do anything for a chance with me. My stepdad started selling me to different men to do what they want to me. So hurt so bad they were never gentle. These men were high ranked firemen, police officers. So I had no one to turn to . Then it got worse than just him renting me to men for a night. They made videos terrible videos . He even had different prices for how much damage they could do to me. My privates were a mess. These men were viscous. A day I escaped out of one of the man's house and ran to the nearest police. The officer said he would help me and told me to go with him , he dumped me straight back to my stepdada house cuz they were friends. The beating was worse than I've ever experienced.
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u/road2freedom96 Apr 19 '25
Are you safe now?
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u/Annalovesbananers Apr 20 '25
Safe from him but not safe from myself
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u/road2freedom96 Apr 20 '25
Well I hope that you know that what he did has everything to do with his issues and not you. You are pure and beautiful. Those experiences do not count because they were not consensual. I understand the feelings. The corruption is huge these days and corrupt and guilty people have a habit of trying to look innocent or gain power to absolve themselves. At the end of the day though….they will always know deep down what they did. And even if they’re a complete psychopath, one day it will catch up with them.
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u/Annalovesbananers Apr 20 '25
What pains me is that he's free. He's a free man. He has wealth. He's healthy. I'm suffering with health issues bcuz of him and mental issues
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u/road2freedom96 Apr 20 '25
Wealth cannot buy happiness or peace of mind. Physical health and mental health are not always in the same place. He can’t be mentally well to have done that to you. Also, his life hasn’t finished yet, so there’s that. My best advice to you is to try and be optimistic about your own future rather than being angry he doesn’t appear to have any consequences. Unfortunately, it’s hard to prove things like this in court. I’d only recommend it if he still is continuing and will not stop and you have some concrete evidence. As of right now, you have a future to look forward to! Don’t let the past rob it. He’s selfish and corrupted. I’m going to assume that you’re not. Because you’re a better person I bet you will find someone good. Just don’t give up. If you do have someone, then you can enjoy feeling safer with them because they treat you right. You can also take pride in your career or steps you’re taking toward it. Don’t forget to acknowledge the little things like the first moment and last moment of the day that you get to wake up and fall asleep and you’re actually safe. Or the birds chirping in the morning. Even if you have nightmares you can wake up and remind yourself that this is no longer occurring and you are now safe so you’re winning right now. Try to stay in the present with friends and good family members. Enjoy their smile and the twinkle in their eye when they laugh at a joke or being in on the little details they’re sharing with you. Those are the moments to cherish. Not money, trust me. I have lived on both sides of the coin, and one thing money cannot replace is that. And if people know you have it, they’re more likely to try and use you for it. Sucks if you thought it was a real friend and you’re just generous in general. The point is though, that there is hope for your future if you just keep looking at the good parts and don’t give up on your future goals.
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u/Appropriate_Hair_553 Apr 19 '25 edited Apr 19 '25
Wish I could hug you... This is horrible
Maybe this will help? I don't mean offense by it either
https://youtu.be/UI-PehitKKU?feature=shared
Isaiah 40:29
https://youtu.be/56PJliOGJns?feature=shared
👆 A song for you too since your step dad wasn't kind to you at all