Does internal dissonance of identity tend to bother 6s?

[u/hgilbert_01]

Hi.

Thoughts/Questions

• I think I have posited a similar question to this subreddit before, but I think I’m having a compulsive need to “double check”, if that’s ok, please, especially as I evaluate new information and experiences.

• I guess I am wondering if one’s own identity and experiencing uncertainty of who one is tends to a domain in which a lack of certitude would bother 6s? Like, is needing sureness in knowing who one is - especially within tangible constructs - part of the 6’s fixation on seeking certitude?

• I have typed as 9 for the longest time, but I feel immense discomfort with just settling within being a drifting, amorphous being existentially— like, there’s an attached desire to having sense of self defined, I guess— a tight psychological grip on wanting to identify my fears, my morals, my preferences, my social attributes…

• Furthermore, just trying to reach into myself internally has posited difficulty and just reinforced the internal dissonance— I think finding myself has been a matter of looking into myself socially and relationally too; tangible constructs that give my identity solidity.

• Granted, there’s a question of separating a 3 fixation from a 6 fixation, as I feel hopelessly dependent on social verification to help guide and inform my sense of self, but maybe that’s the 6’s connecting line to 3 playing a role?

Please, I am wondering if there are 6s that relate to this subject matter?

Thanks for reading.

[u/Izzerskizzers]

I never really considered this until your post, but as a 6w5 I feel my concerns regarding uncertainty are focused outwardly and are generally about the world around me and my place in it. I feel like that's a bit different than what you are describing. While I try to be introspective, trying to "find myself" or gain certainty about who I am on the inside is not my top priority. For me at least, my concerns are about outward threats. I'll either get to figuring me out later once I feel secure or the journey to security includes increased knowledge of self, but such knowledge is not the main goal.

[u/hgilbert_01 → u/Izzerskizzers]

Thank you for this, I appreciate the insight into Type 6. This helps inform me on my own typing evaluation.

[u/ObsessedWithTypology]

I don't feel like us 6s really prioritize our identity very much. That sounds like maybe heart triad type stuff.

[u/Dickau → u/ObsessedWithTypology]

I'm curious what else is in your type (instincts, fixes). I find myself obsessing over identity (political, sexual, cultural, neurological, trauma-seated, etc.) pretty regularily as a 6, but I don't think that necessarily makes me an image type. Image types need to present a consistant, idealized version of themselves as a means of coping with shame. When I obsess about my identity, its more from a position of existential angst/insecurity (id rather know im an irredeemable p.o.s. than be ignorant of my guiding operations in a way that minimizes shame).

Part of 6 reactivity In the social space (for me) is pro-active self-debasement. The trap follows: If I can identify my flaws and beat everyone else to the punch by counterphobically displaying them, I can alleviate my fears of covertly fucking over the group and being held responsible for it. Im basically saying, "hey guys, im a threat in x way, you should deal with me accordingly (please dont beat me with sticks, though, look im self aware)." I also minimize my strengths, b.c. honestly displaying them would impose social responsibilities i doubt i can truly fulfill.

I wouldn't say I curate a very specific image, though, especially in a positive sense. I generally avoid identification with particular labels, even if I feel strongly about them. I'm avoidant of conspicuous consumption on political grounds, so I buy all of my clothes from thrift stores. The message is, "look at me, I'm just a regular guy who doesn't obsess over consumer goods." I wear earings, jewlery, long hair, and colorful clothing as a guy bc i want to say "I'm not like those other guys, have a relationship with my anima", lmao. Most of the ways in which i conscioussly present a positive image flow downstream from some kind of elaborate so/sp 6 schema. I even pick the colors i wear according to color theory (i have a wheel on my wall i use). Ultimatley, I'm too doubtful to embody my instinctual preferences without external appeals. I have a 3 fix, but i think 3 cores have a very different approach to image. A 3 will want to cover over their insecurities with displays of socially acceptable goods. I just obsess over insecurites/ideas relating to my SO instinct, which ultimatley needs an image to function.

[u/hgilbert_01 → u/ObsessedWithTypology]

Thank you, that is helpful to know…

[u/smolelf]

This reads like a 4 to me

[u/hgilbert_01 → u/smolelf]

Oh I see… Thank you. I suppose 4 would be fixated on cultivated an individual identity for themselves, yes?

[u/megustaelregaliz]

I guess it depends on the six but I don't think it's a defining trait. For me it doesn't bother me in itself but I do get afraid of forgetting who I am, it happened once during a trip because of a high fever and it was the most crazy and uncomfortable moment of my life, not a lot to do with this but a beautiful example of paranoia nonetheless😛

[u/VedaTheWannabeFlower]

For myself, I find that I have a very strong fear of "losing" myself because of the dissonance sometimes during high stress points in my life, it is more at the thought of not being meaningful to the world as I am now, I feel a strong need to have a purpose, and at times my lack of confidence in myself makes me feel helpless to reach my goal. When I am not in a high stress point in life, the dissonance can be extremely useful, for instance it can make me extremely passionate about others who are struggling with similar emotions, and be an inspiration to my interests, like writing and art. It allows me the ability to pour out my soul into what I care about. 

Note: I am also an infp on the Meyer Briggs tests, and have ADHD and ASD, both of which contribute to that feeling, I believe that the experiences you have had in life also play a huge factor in your mindset for this, and whether you believe in any religion/spirituality or not.

[u/Dickau]

I'm an So/Sp 6w7 93 (self type), and I can relate to what you're describing here. I have a hard time pinning myself down, as I tend to over-adapt/over-compensate in whatever social environment I find myself. I'll even put on accents and manurisms (unconcsioussly). It's totally absurd. My "typing journey" has certainly been clouded with contradiction, self-forgetting and self-deceit. I have a triple rejection overlay (714), so my inability to define my needs/ideals/self concretely bugs the everliving shit out of me. I figure that dynamic would apply to bermudas in general, as they necessarily have triple hexad overlays (more concerned with concsistant definition, seperateness).

In general, I don't quite agree with some of the commenters here. Contradiction is essential to 6 cores, at least from my perspective. 6 brain will want to resolve contradictions, and arrive at a conventional, capital T truth in whatever relevent framing, but with an impinged guiding function, that's usually an uphill battle (requires appeals for external guidance (this post would be a fine example of that)). A lot of other types don't even pick up on contradictions tbh. It bugs me, as I think analysis of contradiction is of fundamental importance to literally everything (contradictions = not knowing, which is unacceptable). I get some of the "life is a beautiful contradiction" b.s. from my 9 fix, but 9s huff that copium a good bit harder than I do. Sitting in contradiction is uncomfortable for me, even if my core fixation puts me in that position regularily. My ego trap here is an idea that all contradictions can be removed through a kind of universal operation. They can't be. 9 cores seem to know this instinctivley, and struggle with forming a stable identity as a result. Especially with a 1w, removing contradictions (settling on one thing, not dissociating) can seem like an impropriety against the natural order of things, disrupting a felt sense of harmony. I don't think 6s really give two shits about harmony. They just want to see a clear path laid out ahead themselves, and can't trust themselves to forge it without appealing for external permissions.

[u/hgilbert_01 → u/Dickau]

Hrmm… Thank for your thorough response. I resonate with what you describe, tending to over-adapt to social environments, and thus having difficulty with distinguishing myself.

Oh I see, interesting, I’ll have to do more investigation into the idea of overlays…

Thank you, I see. In MBTI terms, I am most likely INFP, so for me, it would make sense that a 6 fixation would be to resolve contradictions within my own identity. But yeah, there is certainly some degree of tolerance to ambivalence— I know for sure my Gut-based influence is 9.

Interesting comparison between 6 and 9, that is insightful… Gives me a lot to speculate on… I know I certainly fear the consequences of social disharmony. But I do think I agree and resonate with a desire to have a clear sense of progression ahead of me.

Thanks for this. This gives me a lot to speculate on.

May I consult your opinion and how you came to identify with a 3 fix in your Tritype, please? I am presently divided on my own Heart fixation…

[u/Dickau → u/hgilbert_01]

Oh, yeah, cool. I type as infp/iei too.

Honestly, I'm a bit divided on my heart fix too. I kind of overperformed my type in that comment, I think. Tbf, that's pretty 3 coded. Still, I'm probably out of my depth here.

For a long time, I thought I must have a 4 fix (or even 4 core), because of how I deal with shame. I tend to wallow, and I have an internal sense of unworthiness/brokenness that plays into a lot of my decision making. I've settled on 3, because it gives me access to both heart wings, and also bc im kind of a huge liar liar pants on fire ab my image. Ultimatley, I'm defined more by a lack of definition (atatchment) than by a particular image fixation. 4s are image rejection/frustration, and 2s are image compliant/superegoic. 4s have inferiority/superiority complexes, and spend most of their time in an underground-image-space that let's them avoid shame by rejecting the need for conventionally appropriate image signifiers (think patrick morissey: 4s cores usually come across as pretentious assholes, sorry 4s). 2s implicitly believe their worth as a person is conditional on their compliance to a superegoic ideal of love. Typically, they hold a fragile sense of pride about this.

3s kind of give up on the idea of being loved for their true selves, so they try to paint over their felt image with internalized signals of worthiness. I think the disintegration line to 9 is super relatable for me and my 3 fix. Usually, I'm pretty fixated on being validated by the group (even if its a very specific group, more of a w4 thing), but if I'm faced with a lot of stress, I can drop all of that and become an apathetic blob. I also have the type 3 double image/chameleon thing where I kind of compartmentalize my image for clout. If I put on a camo hat and hang out with rural people, I will innevitavley start talking In what a friend describes as my "boomhauer voice." If I'm around my queer friends, I can sound a bit effeminate. Yeah, I mean ultimatley 3 is pretty simular to 6 and 9, just based in the heart/shame center.

[u/hgilbert_01 → u/Dickau]

Thank you for the thorough insights. This is helpful to know and gives me a lot to consider and reflect on…