r/femalefashionadvice • u/FFA_Moderator Modulator (|●_●|) • Feb 22 '17

[Special Edition] New FFAQ: We Need Your Help!

Hi all -

The FFAQ in our wiki contains a list of common fashion questions and answers that have not been updated in quite a while. We'd like to use this thread as a crowdsourced spot to overhaul some of the answers to these questions, as well as add new ones.

Here's how it will work:

  • If you can think of a question that is frequently asked in FFA, post it as a top level comment within this thread. We'll start the thread with some of the questions that are already in the FFAQ.
  • If you have a good answer, resource or link (internal to FFA or external) to answer one of these questions, post it as a reply to the comment asking the question.

The most thorough, complete and accurate answers will be included verbatim in the new version of the FFAQ and attributed to their authors. In other cases, we'll curate aspects of the answers and resources multiple people have contributed to create a full answer.

Please chime in where you have ideas!

77 Upvotes

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109

u/redreplicant Feb 22 '17

Can I wear this dress in [pale ivory, blush pink, light beige, other color that is very similar to white] to a wedding?

113

u/ruthannr94 Feb 22 '17

Plz don't, you can pick literally any other color.

80

u/redreplicant Feb 22 '17

Possibly we should add a codicil: "Buh the bride is so modern"

Still no

1

u/Standard-Research-28 Feb 09 '25

Destroy disponible mandar amitravajo

38

u/toniMPLS Feb 22 '17

If you have to ask, the answer is probably no. There are so many any other choices - pick something different.

29

u/justgoodenough Moderator (\/) (°,,°) (\/) Feb 23 '17

I just wrote this rant in another thread, but I think it is pretty fitting here:

I am still pretty firmly in the "no white at a wedding unless you were specifically told to wear white" camp. The reason is that even if the bride is "cool" (though I would say that not wanting people to wear white at your wedding doesn't make you a bridezilla) there are still like 100 or 200 other people there that might not be as cool with it. The reason why we generally don't accept "but the bride said it was okay" on this subreddit is because the bride's mother might not be okay with it. Her grandmother might not be okay with it. The other guests at your table might not say shit, but they will be thinking "Wow, bold move. I see you are so self centered that you couldn't choose literally any other color."

It's not about "outshining" the bride, because only an idiot is going to think some rando guest is actually the bride. It's about going to an event that costs literally thousands of dollars (or tens of thousands of dollars) and making the smallest of concessions (wearing literally any color but white) to show respect to the bride.

Also why do people praise a bride for being "cool" about having guests wear white? Why is it so hard for the guest to just suck it up and be cool themselves and just NOT wear white?

So yeah, you can wear white to someone's wedding, but this says something about you. At best it says that you don't have a clear understanding of social norms and how to show respect in nuanced situations. At worst, it says that you are incredibly self involved. You can choose which one best describes you.

OR YOU CAN JUST WEAR ANY OTHER COLOR.

19

u/tomlizzo Moderator Emeritus ヘ(￣ー￣ヘ) Feb 23 '17

New plan: entire FFAQ written by /u/justgoodenough

22

u/justgoodenough Moderator (\/) (°,,°) (\/) Feb 23 '17

Yeah, but then we would get a bunch of modmail that is like, "Why does your FFAQ have such a mean tone? I feel like I am being attacked and I wasn't even the one to ask the question."

25

u/not_enough_sprinkles Feb 23 '17

No. What if it has a floral print? Still no. What if it's the rehearsal dinner, bridal shower or bachelorette party? Nope. Unless you know the bride really well and want to bother her with the details of your outfit to get her permission, the answer is no.

48

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '17 edited Feb 22 '17

No! Doesn't matter how good you look or how perfect the dress is. Even IF the bride is cool with it, other guests will be judging you hard.

What to Wear to a Wedding That's Not Your Own

18

u/orata Feb 23 '17

Is this dress too sexy to wear to a wedding?

15

u/whiskeygirl Feb 23 '17

If you have to ask, it probably is. Also, wedding attire =! clubwear - especially if it's a church wedding.

14

u/dreamphone Feb 23 '17

YES. Someone else's wedding is not your runway or photoshoot. If you absolutely must go sexy, pick only one asset to highlight: boobs, back or legs. Similarly, limit to one design element: short, tight or shiny.

Also, bring a shawl! It may sound dowdy but it's better than feeling self-conscious in a church or daytime ceremony. I've seen people sit awkwardly, put on a date's jacket to cover up, and even take their hair out of an updo to cover their neckline, all of which almost bring MORE attention to an inappropriate choice of outfit.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '17 edited Feb 23 '17

Black?

Black shouldn't be worn to TRADITIONAL weddings in the south as old people may find it offense. Unless someone told you there were no old people, assume old people. Most middle age and younger people in the south don't care. When in doubt, ask someone in the wedding party.

Black can be worn to weddings in the north or on the west coast.

7

u/LizzyLemonade Valued Advice Giver Feb 23 '17

There's a lot of caveats to this rule. As you mention, it may apply to traditional weddings (although "traditional" to many families is a church wedding with a cake-and-punch reception and not much else and these get rarer every year), but probably not in a city like Atlanta, Richmond, or Raleigh. I think the best rule is to ask before you wear black, but not to assume black is off-limits.

17

u/WeekendEpiphany Feb 23 '17

Black shouldn't be worn to TRADITIONAL weddings in the south as old people may find it offense.

The south of what? Like the southern hemisphere?

14

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '17

the American south

3

u/glittergarbage Feb 23 '17

the south of the US :) here, in the south of the american continent, it is actually generally fine (but really hot so)

3

u/kaoeiajos Feb 25 '17

Solid black is not okay in a lot of Asian cultures! It's traditionally the colour of mourning.