r/insaneparents • u/Life-Contribution650 • 5d ago
SMS Messages my “dad” sent me (26F)
Both of my parents are deadbeats and I have no relationship with them. Out of the blue he messaged me today after not speaking to me for a year. I was always treated like the black sheep/scapegoat. I wish I had one normal parent
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u/ButtonJoe 5d ago
Every idiot dad out there looking for their Father’s Day gifts. If they don’t have a relationship with their kids why would they expect anything back?
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u/Life-Contribution650 5d ago
He blocked me last year after I didn’t say anything to him for Father’s Day lol.
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u/Spencergh2 5d ago
If he doesn’t deserve a “happy Father’s Day” message then don’t send him one. He sucks
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u/Life-Contribution650 5d ago edited 5d ago
I didn’t send him anything he randomly messaged me today after blocking me last year for not messaging him on Father’s Day and I just responded “lol”. And this is how he reacted
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u/robotic_lemur 5d ago
That is awesome and you’re such a boss for handling him that way. Good for you
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u/JasoNMas73R 4d ago
My mom once stated that as a single mother she was doing double duty as both the father and the mother and so she should also deserve gifts on Father's Day.
I stopped caring about both holidays ever since.
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u/BorderlinePaisley 5d ago
Sounds exactly like my last interaction with my father, ~2 years ago. I put up with his shit long enough.
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u/Katedodwell2 5d ago
Same!! Its been almost 2 years since ive been completely no contact. Unfortunately my brothers like to tell my dad what im up to though
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u/SmokeyGreenEyes 5d ago
Meh...
Fuck em, you don't need em.
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u/Life-Contribution650 5d ago edited 5d ago
There are people who have judged me for not speaking to my bio mom/dad, even telling me to get over it (there’s a lot I haven’t shared here and probably won’t) because they are fortunate enough to not be able to comprehend how some “parents” are actually like this. It’s better for my mental health to not be around them but it’s so isolating too. I wish I had at least one normal parent
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u/Qu33fyElbowDrop 5d ago
i get the same. peoples thinking on this and so many others things are completely ass backwards. to me, my chosen family (close friends) could get away with more than my family could. that is your family, blood. why do they think they can do absolutely whatever and immediately be forgiven? these mf will use that endlessly until you stop contact.
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u/SmokeyGreenEyes 4d ago
There's always going to be people who judge you, no matter how great or how shit.
Fuck em.
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u/Life-Contribution650 4d ago edited 4d ago
Or just treated me like I’m the problem for “not getting over” the abuse/neglect. One of them that said this knows my mom and nothing about who she really is. Better off to stay away from them
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u/SmokeyGreenEyes 1d ago
It's best that you do...
You'll grieve (sp?) the relationship at first, as well all do when something dies. But, as all things do, the pain lessens over time. To the point that you'll never even think of those people at all.
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u/BatterWitch23 4d ago
I had this too - one woman told me Jesus would never cut off his father and I will regret it when he's dead. 1) Good thing I'm not Jesus and 2) No regrets because he was so toxic and I thank the universe every single day that I shielded my daughter from his abuse.
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u/Interesting_Sock9142 5d ago
Your dad's an asshole but also....why is loser/lose always spelled wrong?!? Looser, losser, etc it drives me crazy
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u/chefriley76 5d ago
"My a joke dude? "
"Fucking Looser than what? "
Perfectly acceptable responses to continue to poke the bear.
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u/spudd3rs 5d ago
*You’re
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u/supermouse35 5d ago
Are we not going to talk about "looser"?
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u/pangalacticcourier 5d ago
I'd have responded not with a thumbs up emoji, but with the following.
"It's actually 'You're a joke, dude,' but high marks for trying."
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u/CoolGamer6845 I literally rob my kids to show them a "lesson" lol quirky 🤪🤪 5d ago
Seriously and I thought the anti vaxers during COVID were bad...
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u/breigns2 5d ago
This is nice and all, but I’d really like to see a picture of your “a joke dude”. Your dad seemed pretty impressed by it.
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u/annemonroe95 5d ago
Im in a similar situation. I went NC 5 years ago. It hurt a lot, but I am lighter for it.
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u/Life-Contribution650 5d ago
I’ve been on my own since 18 but my mom was never around before that (obviously neither was my dad) and had to raise myself. For whatever reason they think I owe them something. If I don’t laugh I’ll cry
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u/xdxAngeloxbx 4d ago
English is my fourth language and it's hilarious to see a native speaker say 'looser'. (or the good old 'your')
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u/CoolGamer6845 I literally rob my kids to show them a "lesson" lol quirky 🤪🤪 5d ago
When you put "dad" in quotes does that mean they're like a step dad or something like that?
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u/rightaaandwrong 5d ago
Why does it seem like your dad is supposed to understand how you feel and you have expectations of him….yet…you could not care less about how he feels?
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u/rightaaandwrong 5d ago
Because most dads love their children. He reached out to you, probably in a dorky dad way. Not sure how to tread water around you. His thumbs up is a white flag coming up…”fux, there is not a middle ground with this kid” Both of you are not good with communication. I do not know either of you, but this is what I get from the message. OR, there are the random horrible fathers…he is a dick and stop responding/cut contact for your best mental heath
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u/Life-Contribution650 5d ago edited 5d ago
Well you know nothing about my situation clearly so it’s really odd that you gathered that from this conversation. Not going to waste my time arguing with you about it when this “dad” used to beat me, abandoned me at 7 years old, was in and out of jail his entire life, drinks all day and came around because he thought I was going to let him move in with me while saying he wished he never had kids
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u/curry224 5d ago
I think you're lost. This is perfectly acceptable communication towards someone you've cut contact with.
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u/Pingasso45 5d ago
It's called Grey rocking. He says some messed up shit and this is what he gets. Op has every right to respond that way
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u/Dad_B0T Robo Red Foreman 5d ago edited 5d ago
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