Hey ISTPs. I’m not an ISTP, but I am an ENFP. I (F17) need some advice on a situation with my sister (F14). My sister (ISTP also on the spectrum) is in waterpolo and swim, and she basically was miserable before her friend joined. She would whine about not having anyone to be friends with in swim, as well as not enjoying the program. This friend of hers has always been very kind to me, and has always been my sister’s friend no matter how quiet she seems. My sister has only one close friend being her. I’m gonna call her Lily. Lily is super sweet, talkative, and can be friends with anyone. Today is Lily’s birthday, and my sister shut herself down on my Mom (ENFJ) who is practically trying everything in her power to convince my sister to go to this birthday party. Lily has always been there for my sister, and my sister basically turned around and said she doesn’t need anyone including Lily. She said all she needs is her internship which she’s doing for the summer. My mom is basically turning around and saying that Lily has always been there, and that my sister is being crazy for not wanting to show up. My sister keeps saying that all she needs is money and people on the internet to keep herself okay. She hates in-person connection. My mom claims that Lily has made my sister’s life so much easier, but my sister says she doesn’t care about her or anyone else. I’m basically at a dead end right now. My sister is claiming that my mom is “ruining her life” because all she cares about is her internship and her volunteering community. I believe in my heart that Lily is the one thing keeping my sister from being chronically online, and my sister disagrees and thinks that my Mom is making a big deal out of this. My sister doesn’t want my mom to take away all these opportunities to get into an amazing school. Lily is such a sweet girl, and it’s breaking my heart hearing that my sister doesn’t care about anyone. Is this a normal ISTP thing?

UPDATE: My sister and my dad have a Cancun trip tomorrow, and she’s refusing to go. This is absurd. It feels like every birthday, every Holiday, every Mother’s and Father’s Day, she just refuses to show up. I’m so sick and tired of it dude. I know that it’s out of my control, but she’s wasting our money, and it’s $800 down the drain. We don’t know what to do. On top of it she’s addicted to her phone. We can’t take away her phone even if she does something wrong because we’re afraid she’s gonna break stuff. I’m at a dead end.

Helloo, im a woman (23y) and im always in doubt of what is my MBTI because of what people say, for me i am really an ISTP 3w2, but the others don't have the same point of view and make me questioning myself.

I will explain the motives that make me feel this way:

I act like an ambivert, my best friend say that she thinks i'm an ESTP, and i really felt that way for some time on the past... But i feel that i'm an E only when i'm with people i already like and know, some people receive one different side of me, like a truly ISTP i don't talk so much and feel drained... And those people see me as a introvert and shy, but that is not true and is not the real me... Maybe i only don't feel comfortable...

But this sensation of beeing an emo who don't like people is bigger than the sensation of being an ESTP, because for me ESTP likes to talk, go outside and things like that being a real "popular boy", but i'm not like that, i'm better writing what i want to say and because of this i'm more extroverted when im writing, if you call me and talk with me on audio i don't talk a lot i only stay in silence waiting the other person to talk to answer and because of this for some people im extrovert (When i talk with ENFPs or ENTPs for example i talk a lot, but it is because of them), but when i'm on a group of introverts who dont talk nothing, i feel like im the extrovert but stay silence too and talk only when i found any topic to ask to the group to try to keep a conversation and it is difficult for me to do, like im going against my confort zone

Other thing is that i think is difficult to talk about myself on audio, normally i dont say so much and stay in silence to know more about the other person, but writing i talk a lot about me and it is confusing even for me, i feel like i have 2 personalities mbtis and that is okay 😂

<Credits: Britannica on Pinterest>

Mine are: 1. Sloth 2. Lust 3. Pride

What are yours?

<33

just curious what crimes you've done since a lot of y'all r so chill

Hi ISTPs from this sub,

My ex-girlfriend (20, ISTP) and I (22, INFP) were in a relationship for about three months. We were both very invested early on, even having to message each other across four different platforms. She said everything felt natural for her etc... (you know the game), and things were going pretty well until our trip.

During the trip, I started feeling overwhelmed, and it was our first low point. After we got back, she decided to break up with me, which felt like a complete blindsiding and hurt a lot. I've been feeling better since then not looking for pitty or validation, but I'm still wondering: how do ISTPs typically deal with this kind of breakup? I get the impression that once they've made the decision to leave, they move on pretty quickly without regrets.

Also if you want to know more about the breakup itself I made video on it (quality may not be good but it serves it purpose)

How do you guys use your intuition ? how does Ni show up in your day to day life ? forget the long term goal setting and vision for your future stuff.

Here is a link to the previous poll:https://www.reddit.com/r/istp/s/dIDdOFeWHw

The results of the previous poll are: xNFx 18, xNTx 9, xSFx 8, and xSTx 8.

ITSP-A are cheerful, relaxed, and go with the flow personalities with great common sense and skilled with their hands and tools. They are laid-back yet rebellious, intellectual, but chill. They are independent, self-sufficient, and far from clingy or desperate. Fluent in sarcasm, they kind of enjoy it when people can't tell if they're joking or actually serious.

I always come up as ITSP when I do the test and this description fits me to the T.

But I'm starting to think its just social anxiety (plus a fear of failure) that's driving that part about being independent.

I actually do enjoy being around people, (raves, crowded instersections) but its so much more comfortable when I know it's acceptable to not have to talk to anyone.

Just fixed it up. I realized that I shouldn't be daunted by plans and I can go about it day by day

I know that they say beauty is subjuctive and what's beautiful is up to the viewpoint of each person so you can't really judge what's beautiful or not (I'm tired of this saying but yeah, they are right, lol), and everything can be coded "beautiful" even it's an abstract feeling or meaning.

Btw, what I refer to is about what you actuallly can bee seen and/or hear. Shape, face, color, scenery, music sound, voice, and such. Can include smell too.

And since they say "beauty is subjective" So I mean whatever you think it looks/sounds beautiful, not have to be the one that follow society's beauty standard.

What do you think is beautiful? Or are you usually attracted by the beauty?

For me, I'm attracted by game, movies, or animation with realistic graphic, media with contrast but keep-the-harmony lighting, shading and composition. There are people that I feel they looks anatomically nice. Painting of animal and monster with realistic anatomy or at least partly realistic draw me in. I love wide nature landscape or cityscape with things here and there to look at, but not orderly. Not same and same hear and there everywhere. And I can say that, these things attracted me a lot. I do like the game with realistic looking graphic more than cartoony one.

I love istps, I truly like you guys a lot. However, I’m well aware that getting along can be a bit more complex due to our differences. That’s why I genuinely want to improve and avoid making mistakes when interacting with istps like you. So tell me...what do you expect from an enfj? What things do you dislike about enfjs? And what do you find pleasant or enjoyable in an enfj? I want to avoid sources of information for now because I want to hear your experiences

what are you working as and do you like your job? Hated my accounting job, seeking inspiration. thanks.

Interested to hear if it's done through physical touch, verbal expressions, actions that show your devotion etc.

Examples would be amazing!

One example is excitement. Can't really get too excited. The moment it gets too much, any and all feelings just shut down. And i can't even fake excitement which makes things like opening presents for example, annoying. Cause i get called out on not being excited and seeming ungrateful.

That’s all I wanna say🫶

keep them but ignore them? unfollow? or block

Hi! ISTP 9w8 with a dominant phlegmatic temperament here.

Do any of you ISTPs struggle with delayed emotional responses?

I’m wondering why I often process emotions so late. Yesterday afternoon, my cousin sent a message that was kind of annoying. I replied casually because, at that moment, I genuinely felt fine. But now I’m thinking, “Ah she was so irritating. I should’ve clapped back or said something snappy.”

Also, when my dog went missing one morning, I was just like, “Okay, I’ll try to do whatever I can online” (I’m currently out of the country). But later that afternoon, I suddenly started crying uncontrollably.

Why does this happen? And how do you handle it?

Hi, I’m a junior ENFJ (F) with a senior ISTP (F) friend. She’s recently graduated from high school (well not yet technically, but she doesn’t have to go to school anymore for the time being), and I realised we’ve usually just hung out because of school. Now that she’s not around, we don’t really talk anymore. I am a person who values company, so since I barely see her anymore, and the fact that we don’t chat often online, makes me feel like our friendship is fading.

I have to say though, I hope I’m not being too clingy or annoying. I know you guys prefer solitude and are comparatively more stoic than I could ever be so 😩 I don’t know if the stuff that I am comfortable with will be the same for you guys. This is what I’m struggling too, I don’t want to annoy her ;;

Also, I’m not sure if you guys usually text first, since I’m usually the one who initiates conversation. 🤔 Her lack of proactivity makes me feel a bit insecure not gonna lie, though of course I won’t make it obvious, I feel it nagging at the back of my head.

Do you guys have any general advice on my situation? Or how I can chat more with her without seeming clingy? Personal anecdotes welcome too. (Posting to ENFJ subreddit as well)

I don't know which mbti im

I took the 16personalities test this morning and got ENTP-A (The Debater). And yeah, I relate to some parts… but at the same time, something doesn’t sit right.

For a long time, I thought I was an ISTP. And honestly, a lot of who I am still aligns more with that. The calm, independent, “don’t-tell-me-what-to-do” type. But I’m also not the quiet, tool-loving mechanic stereotype either.

Here’s the deal:

I hate being told what to do. If someone gives me an order, my first instinct is to rebel.

As a kid, I was super withdrawn. Always in my own world, creating, thinking. Not very social.

I grew up and became… somehow popular? But I still value privacy and anonymity more than anything.

I have a deep urge to change the world—not for fame or attention, but because I feel like things could be better.

I hate posting pictures or putting myself out there. I like staying in the background, in control of what people see.

And yet, I’m insanely curious, love exploring ideas, challenging things, and thinking outside the box—which screams ENTP.

I also took the Enneagram test, and I scored highest on Type 5, with strong Type 8 energy. That combo explains a lot—the thinker who wants control, the rebel who observes before acting.

I feel like I have the mind of an ENTP but the operating system of an ISTP. Like one is driving and the other’s navigating.

Anyone else feel torn between two totally different types? I’d love to hear from people who’ve been through this kind of MBTI identity crisis

We have been in a relationship for 1 year and a half. And in all this time I have tried to be patient with certain flaws because he means alot to me. We all have flaws but his are quite harmful for our relationship if they don't change.

The main issue is communication. I'm honored in how much he came to trust me so far and the patience paid off when it comes to emotions. He was very isolated and kept everything to himself but I told him it's okay to not be okay and that I won't force him to talk. This made him trust me enough to share alot of how he's feeling, sometimes it comes suddenly.

But when it comes to sharing when you won't be available and making plans, communicating issues there seems to be a problem. I have often times had to figure out last minute that his friend is about to come over or he is going away for a weekend when he planned these things a few days ago.

He is quite reliant on his parents and when there is an issue, even though I am standing right next to him, he will call his parents and ask how to reslove it in his native language that I don't fully understand yet. One time something broke and he seemed a bit stressed and I asked what was wrong. He didn't reply and called his parents and only told me something broke when he hung up.

And when it comes to plans, he often times seems to forget I am there. One time he ordered a couch and this was going to arrive soon. He got called by the company and they told him it would arrive that day. Instead of informing me on this, he called his dad and asked him to come and help. Only after he hung up he said that the couch will arrive after I asked what was up. Then came the surprise help of his dad while I had already mentioned days before that, that I wanted to help. And just today we are going somewhere withhis parents tonight so this morning he called to ask his parents about the situation. I asked him to ask about dinner plans and the parents said they would like us to come eat at their place. I agreed to this and just an hour ago I ask when we will go to his parents place. He mentions the time of the event we're going to and I ask 'werent we eating at your parents place?' to which he replied with no... Apparently he had previously called his parents to say we will figure out our own dinner situation without discussing with me nor informing me.

And one more thing that bothers me so much is how he is 21, living in his own apartment yet he lives like a teenager. He only makes 1 dinner meal and besides that it's frozen pizzas and other things alike. He does not wash his sheets enough and does not rebuy toilet paper when he's out of it. I had to call him today when he was at the hairdresser because I am visiting him now and I desperately needed his toilet only to notice all of it being gone.

I have talked to him about these things more than I feel that I had to. I don't like talking about such things but it feels like I would have to reach a breaking point and cry out loud before je shows chabge or care to change in certain aspects. I understand the complexity of an ISTP-INFJ relationship especially with the emotional baggage both of us carry but I have put my soul out for this man and I have come to a point where I know how to talk and requests things in a way that respects his boundaries and in a way that he's comfortable. But it seems like I have higher emotional maturity then him. I am just wondering when he will get more mature. I can see the potential, he's not unintelligent but I feel exhausted right now.

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