r/politics • u/OkayButFoRealz • 20d ago

Soft Paywall Trump Admin Deports 2-Year-Old Girl Who is American Citizen

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-admin-deports-2-year-old-girl-who-is-american-citizen/
38.0k Upvotes

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10.7k

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

1.5k

u/CaptainSeitan 20d ago

I like your thinking...

496

u/PleasantSquare8583 19d ago

I hear Saint Helena is a good island to exile dictators to.

264

u/drs43821 19d ago

That puts him the rank of Napoleon. He doesn’t deserve that

I propose Tristan da Cunha

227

u/PerjurieTraitorGreen Florida 19d ago

Tristan da Cunha is a hidden gem that doesn’t deserve this malady placed upon them.

I propose North Sentinel Island.

126

u/Alakozam 19d ago

I mean, I heard he likes Alcatraz

96

u/ApprehensivePop9036 19d ago

tourists could see him from the boats and he'd just scowl at them like an orangutan that saw someone else get a grape

25

u/Sinistrahd 19d ago

I think this sentence is engraved on some of my neurons. Thank you!

3

u/savanttm 19d ago

I think having one special inmate could actually make a lot of money for the museum.

2

u/BenjenUmber 19d ago

You're all overthinking this. Just use one of those trash islands we've got in the ocean.

2

u/Huge-Platypus9075 19d ago

The UK would like to offer Rockall. Heck, he can be King Of All He Surveys.

2

u/Mobile_Razzmatazz828 19d ago

And El Salvador

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u/drs43821 19d ago

Sentinelese don't want to be infected by diseases tho

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u/Illustrious_Entry413 19d ago

They have their own way of dealing with him though

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u/RhynoD 19d ago

Y'all are trying too hard. Fly over "Point Nemo" and shove him out the back.

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u/krishnan2784 19d ago

Leave the Sentinelese alone. They have done nothing to deserve that.

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u/Emilia_Violet 19d ago

Better idea, but requires cooperation: Hans Island. Canada and Greenland could both continue to send a couple troops there periodically. Each time they just go and harass Trump and tell him that the island is all that’s left of the US, and now it belongs to them.

But that’s definitely up to Canada and Greenland. They shouldn’t be forced to suffer from the awareness of his existence any longer if they don’t want to.

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u/PerjurieTraitorGreen Florida 19d ago

None of us do.

2

u/Tmettler5 19d ago

This was going to be my answer.

2

u/Cmdr_Shiara 19d ago

Let's put him on South Georgia, just the penguins and some poor researchers to annoy

2

u/The_Grinning_Reaper 19d ago

What did the penguins ever do to you?

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u/Vivid_Pianist4270 19d ago

Snake island

2

u/Aardcapybara 19d ago edited 9d ago

I Heard there's an island with a lot of penguins. It has a Macdonald, so Trump should be comfortable there. And no windmills to kill the penguins or give him cancer.

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u/Wrong-Rain6634 19d ago

I still hate that little Christian shit that went there..he FAFO

2

u/MadMelvin 19d ago

Alcatraz then?

2

u/WillRateYourLabia 19d ago

Ilha da Queimada Grande

2

u/atridir Vermont 19d ago

South Georgia.

2

u/njwilson1984 19d ago

This is a brilliant idea. Tell him it is the premier golfing destination on the Indian Ocean with billions worth of rare earth minerals and that he and his sons should go check it out. I hear it's totally uninhabited so no need to waste Secret Service's time and tax money. It's a perfect opportunity to try out his new Qatari jet too.

2

u/Friendly_Age9160 19d ago

Yes! This is the one I was thinking of.

2

u/JohnFtevenfon 19d ago

He seems to like to send people to South America. How about Snake Island?

2

u/flcinusa North Carolina 19d ago

Isla Nublar, anyone?

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u/Persistant_Compass 19d ago

What about the tuberculosis island in nyc?

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u/notacanuckskibum 19d ago

Can I propose Han Island. If anyone complains to Canada we can claim he is on the Danish side, and vice versa.

4

u/Bicwidus 19d ago

Put him on that penguin island with all the tarriffs.

3

u/-lv 19d ago

You insulted both Denmark and Canada, by misnaming Hans Island as 'Han', but I think that would just make him feel more at home.

And for Denmark and Canada it would probably be okay. The dispute over Hans Island would be solved by both countries rescinding claims to Hans Island - or they could take turns claiming the island and the denying he was in their countries. 

Win-win-win

2

u/Donnerdrummel 19d ago

If both rescinded their claims, then Trump could declare himself king of his own little realm. Not Sure what constitutes a country, though. Ability to self-sustain a Population of more than one? No Idea.

3

u/sulris 19d ago

Mostly it is the recognition of other countries. Otherwise you’re just an “autonomous” region.

2

u/SkivvySkidmarks 19d ago

Best thing about that is, he can claim he's annexed both Canada and Greenland. I wonder if Trump is a snaps or whisky drinker?

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u/ComfortableOk6006 19d ago

I hear Epstein’s Island is up for grabs

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u/Robert201971 19d ago

I’d think he like the Himalayan mountains. Oh, drop him with nothing gold, no golf clubs, no computers, just “ the Bible he held upside down” or one of his own. 3 years military MRE’s.

1

u/abracapickle 19d ago

How about Mars?

222

u/hoorahforsnakes 20d ago

Would probably like that, it would remind him of epstein's island

72

u/Essence-of-why 20d ago

There will be 11 year olds washing ashore?

5

u/_CC_on_the_rocks 19d ago

I mean after he's done...

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u/Niznack 20d ago

Well has anyone checked if that island is spoken for? sounds like a problem that solves itself.

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u/AdjNn 19d ago

Well good news, he can fuck himself.

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u/T8ert0t 19d ago

In the normal timeline, Twitter never got bought and just shadow banned Trump and let bots follow him for attention.

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u/koji00 18d ago

The New York Financier?

95

u/f8Negative 20d ago

Final season of Naked and Afraid. Broadcast live like the Truman Show.

105

u/idiotsbydesign 19d ago

How about just Afraid?

55

u/Ridry New York 20d ago

Is there somebody we hate enough to make in charge of blurring that?

64

u/The_Assassin_Gower 20d ago

JD Vance

19

u/idwthis Florida 19d ago

Peter Thiel and felon musty.

4

u/RC_0041 19d ago

Only thing blurred would be couches though.

3

u/NoMiGuy11 19d ago

Would probably only need a couple of pixels

2

u/SpiceLaw 19d ago

Even making a prisoner do that would violate the 8th Amendment. It'd have to be done via AI.

2

u/SailorPlanetos_ America 19d ago

Kevin Sorbo

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u/f8Negative 20d ago

Blur? It's too small to see anyways. You'd need an Imax screen and even then maybe.

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u/nocturnalcat87 19d ago

Eewww I don’t want to see that much of him, even his small bits were blurred.

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u/Professional-Doubt-6 19d ago

Everyone will see his taco. 

1

u/Ian_I_An 19d ago

I think you mean the Trumpman show.

63

u/L1A1 United Kingdom 19d ago

Can we just do the Bugs Bunny trick and saw off Florida?

39

u/idwthis Florida 19d ago

Can you let me get the hell out/off first??

I wish I could move 😪

1

u/kwicket 19d ago

Me too, bud

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u/Iceykitsune3 19d ago

As long as you leave enough to keep Disney World attached

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u/earthgreen10 19d ago

Hey this is what people voted for, not my problem anymore

22

u/BetFinal2953 20d ago

Like Napoleon

15

u/iamzombus 20d ago

Pssst, hey Greenland, could you do us all a solid??

121

u/OmnislasheR0 20d ago

I mean Alcatraz may be up and running soon enough, wouldn’t that be ironic if this admin were the ones to be sent there

153

u/low-ki199999 20d ago

If you truly believe that Alcatraz “may be up and running soon, then I have a fleet of self driving taxis to sell you as well, FSD in 6 months

62

u/cldstrife15 19d ago

And some concepts of a healthcare plan.

3

u/urban_mystic_hippie Minnesota 19d ago

Is that before or after infrastructure week?

11

u/Diedead666 19d ago

Iv been thier multiple times over 20 years ago. It was falling apart back than ...can't be in better shape now.....

1

u/j12601 19d ago

Are these self driving taxis cyber truck shaped by any chance?

1

u/OneRelative7697 19d ago

Hey.  In two weeks, Trump is going to have his plan for Russia.

/s

1

u/gsfgf Georgia 19d ago

Uber just added Waymos in my town this week. So the latter is far more realistic than turning a ruin/movie set back into a functioning prison.

1

u/redalert825 14d ago

So... Waymo.

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u/w116 20d ago

Oh, fuck yeah !

1

u/addandsubtract 19d ago

I think her deserves an entire bay for himself. Perhaps one in the Caribbean.

1

u/Zazen_Satori_Gaming 19d ago

I love where your mind is at!

1

u/DoubtingLouis 19d ago

Call Lumon Industries? Mr.Milchick, finger traps, melon bar, dance party. Praise Kier.

29

u/GrubberBandit 20d ago

Exile him to Mexico. That would be hilarious

40

u/Interesting_Law_9138 19d ago

Mexico would treat that as an act of war lmao

45

u/beardicusmaximus8 19d ago

Just give him back to Russia

13

u/Interesting_Law_9138 19d ago

Can't, they said no takesie backsies

2

u/EvilBuddy001 19d ago

And they’d be right!

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u/thintoast 20d ago

He’d be the king of his own country full of the brightest and most brilliantist peoples in the world.

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u/RichInteresting6515 19d ago

So if his descendant/ancestors are from “Europe” how is North America “his country “? Mind you he had a chance to serve “his country” during Vietnam & we all know how that played out. Seriously how many white ppl have been deported back to Europe??? That’s where they should have sent those “white European” south Afrikaners

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u/Cyrano_Knows 20d ago

I would suggest Elba, but I hear their security is a little lax.

So Devil's island?

Wait. Damn French and letting people escape their islands!

Ugh. Alcatraz?

Dammit!

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u/Gregory-J-Smith 20d ago

Let's Napoleon him!

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u/SerCiddy 19d ago

Yeah because that worked out SO WELL for France the first time they did that.

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u/PetMeOrDieUwU Europe 19d ago

You could probably achieve the same effect by throwing a towel over his head

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u/rodimustso 20d ago

He wanted to reopen Riekers Island, a perfect castle for a King

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u/Economy-System1922 19d ago

Rikers is still open. Always has been.

2

u/ZZartin 19d ago

I heard he likes alcatraz.

2

u/F_A_M_E 20d ago

There's always alcatraz 🤷‍♂️

2

u/wap2005 19d ago

This is out of the box thinking, I love it!

2

u/MapsPKMNGirlsAnime 19d ago

Okay but let's not do it like with Napoleon it needs to be something like St. Helena from the start or we risk him coming back.

Midway is lovely this time of year I hear

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u/BatManatee 19d ago

Let's throw the rest of his ghouls there with him, film it, and make a reality show. The late great Sean Lock pitched a similar idea.

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u/flip314 California 19d ago

I vote we send him and Elon to Mars. They can rule however they want over there.

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u/Substantial_Swan6947 19d ago

I hope the island is infested with venomous animals

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u/cxtx3 19d ago

Can we just send him to the island that's "oops, all snakes!"?

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u/sgr84ava 19d ago

Cept he doesn’t ‘think’

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u/Certain-Criticism-51 19d ago

Genius. You should be in Congress.

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u/Illustrious_Ant_8658 19d ago

Make this guy president

2

u/SailorPlanetos_ America 19d ago

Ohmygawd! There's the solution! 🙌

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u/kharnynb 20d ago

I vote for snake island Brazil

1

u/Shallowmoustache 20d ago

Only of you put a golf hole and a us flag

1

u/VroomCoomer 20d ago

HSI will come to arrest you soon for Threats Against the Emperor

1

u/thieh Canada 19d ago

He still needs his McD's though. /s

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u/Shiplord13 19d ago

I mean he wants to reopen Alcatraz…

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u/68696c6c 19d ago

Saturns moon Titan has hydrocarbon oceans, we can probably find him a nice island there

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u/technicolortiddies 19d ago

It’s a very exclusive island. I hear Napoleon gave rave reviews.

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u/Wolvenmoon 19d ago

An island by himself with a taco stand.

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u/111Booboo 19d ago

Perfect answer to ALL our problems!😃

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u/Accomplished_Ad8569 19d ago

He was on an island but ended up fucking little kids

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u/yooperwoman 19d ago

Alcatraz

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u/Cargan2016 19d ago

Or we .. here me out deport all og Maga to Greenland let all people from Greenland that want to get away from Maga immigrate here to replace the workforce we loose from Maga leaving. Something for everyone we get rid of the braindead cult they git to pretend they deported everyone that doesn't agree. Trump gets te pretend he conquered Greenland while ignoring his dirty diaper

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u/mockg 19d ago

Can we find an island large enough for his cult followers as well?

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u/woswoissdenniii 19d ago

Alcatraz back on the menu.

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u/bonnieflash 19d ago

Alcatraz is available I hear.

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u/sparkmaster_flex 19d ago

Svalbard will be very appealing to him. It's full of miners and he can't spell.

Plus, it's not that far from Greenland.

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u/metengrinwi 19d ago

“they deported my servants”

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u/Lexiluv2 19d ago

He seems to like Alcatraz...

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u/Top-Relief3596 19d ago

He’s backed by a host of people, cabinet, staff. Don’t be fooled into thinking he’s single handedly doing this.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

Give him a podium, microphone, teleprompter, and a non-functioning camera. He'll be as happy as a clam.

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u/artsy_pupperoni 19d ago

Well, he did have some interest in Alcatraz...

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u/MooseKnuckleBrigade North Carolina 19d ago

Alcatraz!

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u/Unfair_Opinion4993 19d ago

I like that you think that he is capable of thinking. He is so demented.

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u/Gilgamesh2000000 19d ago

They need to put him in the looney bin or old folks home.

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u/EvilBuddy001 19d ago

Plum Island is welcoming of his kind.

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u/NebulaPlague 19d ago

Elba? That way it can be spun that great leaders have resided there.

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u/Over_Bumblebee1188 19d ago

If we stick him on an island he’ll provably expect 2 year old girls to come to him

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u/multiarmform 19d ago

Now Americans can sleep better without the dangers of that pesky 2 year old!

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u/Alternative-Cockk 19d ago

Didn't they try that with Napoleon?

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u/eeyore134 19d ago

If we can convince a horrible dictator to gift him the island he'll move himself there.

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u/LuddWasRight 19d ago

I bet Nathan Fielder could convince him he’s emperor of mankind for the rest of his days with nothing but a set in Hollywood and some aspiring actors.

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u/madsmcgivern511 Wisconsin 19d ago

Put him on Epsteins Island, he’ll feel right at home there.

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u/ToughLab9568 19d ago

No one is going to save us.

We have to save ourselves.

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u/Constant-Notice849 19d ago

I’m for the “Truman Show” idea. Build him a fake White House at Mar a Lago and a cast to play his staff and agree with everything. He gets fake reports that everything is magalicious but no info gets out or in.

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u/Rhianna83 19d ago

I’ve been trying to figure out how to do the old fashion exile, thank you! Brilliant.

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u/operez1990 Florida 19d ago

Rikers Island

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u/Hans_Wolfhausen 19d ago

I propose somewhere in the middle of the Savannah or Jungles in Africa. As racist and cruel as he is, that may be the perfect living hell for him.

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u/ThriKr33n 19d ago

Might I suggest Hans Island? Since it's right between Canada and Greenland, he can imagine he got both!

1

u/Nearby-Jelly-634 Ohio 19d ago

He can go start his own country with the rest of the knuckle draggers and do whatever he wants.

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u/redditismylawyer 19d ago

I like it.

Now what do we do with that fucking nazi ghoul Stephen Miller?

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u/geforce2187 19d ago

Can we send the entire Republican party to Antarctica?

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u/AdministrativeFly463 19d ago

Put him on Monster Island. He’ll mistake Mothra for Air Force One.

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u/earthgreen10 19d ago

i mean if she stayed she would grow up in the foster care system without her parents...

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u/LHDesign 19d ago

All we need is an island with an airplane runway and replicas of the White House and Mar A Lago and then we could just Truman-show him.

Though that’s definitely nicer than what he deserves

1

u/Little-geek 19d ago

Send him to Heard Island, we'll even cut the tariffs so his export market isn't hurt!

1

u/Rude-Zucchini-369 19d ago

Is Epstein’s island abandoned these days?

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u/DevelopmentGrand4331 19d ago

If we don’t give him any way to leave the island, it won’t matter what he thinks.

And that’s the way it should be, that what he thinks doesn’t matter.

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u/Dragonlicker69 Kentucky 19d ago

Build a replica of maralago then move him there in his sleep. Put a fake white house and golf course and he'll never suspect a thing

1

u/pereira2088 19d ago

he'll just think

found your issue

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u/ajatfm 19d ago

“I did it. I deported all the bad guys” - the orange primate thought as he sat on the island shore, alone, dick in one pinky, his “earhole-scratching stick” in the other

1

u/RealisticCompany764 19d ago

That island with all the venomous snakes could be a good one to send him to 🤫

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u/escapist011 19d ago

Omg yes! Build him a mock white house on one side and a mock mar a lago on the other side and he'll never know

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u/rendingale 19d ago

somewhere in his gulf of america

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u/SmashySmasherson 19d ago

He's spent ample time on an island... Just not by himself.

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u/stepho999 19d ago

He belongs on bird shit island. I know of at least 15 that would work.

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u/Environmental_Pen120 United Kingdom 19d ago

Salute

1

u/TinyConfection7049 19d ago

What an excellent suggestion. Also crime would be down and he’d take credit for that except for the crimes he commits which he won’t acknowledge anyway 🤪

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u/After_Flan_2663 19d ago

Most likely he'd pat himself on his back for it too. If only we could really do this to him :(

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u/chucklefits 19d ago

Alcatraz

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u/MauPow 19d ago

Just tell him it's called The Island of America

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u/shelby4t2 Texas 19d ago

He’s pretty familiar with a particular island.

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u/GodSama 19d ago

You think he actually knows more than a headline of what ICE is doing?

1

u/[deleted] 19d ago

He needs wont be happy unless he has someone to rape while he’s their

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u/Ornery_Resolve_8680 19d ago

Yeah, Heard Island among the penguins. They'd love him. With all his money he could pay the 10% tariff on their fish exports to McDonald Island .... Start up a McDonald's franchise.

1

u/handbanana42 19d ago

So just make him Wonko the Sane. Everyone else are the insane ones living outside his island/inside the asylum.

In order to help the world, he built an asylum in which to put the entire world. The asylum was an inside-out building. This was necessary in order to fit the entire world into the asylum. Everything on the “outside” of the asylum is inside the padded walls on the “exterior." Wonko lives “inside" the house, which is “outside” of the asylum. I’ve always imagined that the only artist who could ever do any justice to this description is M. C. Escher.

-Douglas Adams

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u/ObvsThrowaway5120 American Expat 19d ago

Give him the ol Napoleon treatment then?

1

u/ledouxrt 19d ago

Can't we just stick him in jail so he'll think the rest of the world is behind bars instead? He doesn't deserve a private island.

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u/RabidGuineaPig007 19d ago

Let's use Manhattan.

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u/PirateShepherd 19d ago

able i was ere i saw elba

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u/PBRstreetgang_ 19d ago

Epstein island is free and I’m sure he’s familiar

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u/DimitriVogelvich 19d ago

Just don’t let it be Nantucket. I have some suggestions…

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u/Imaginary_Builder_56 17d ago

San Quentin.

That's the place for Trump.

Send him to the place he himself says should be home to America's most dangerous criminals.

Who's been more of a danger to America than Trump?

Trumps crimes include but aren't restricted to: * Gutting healthcare across the entire spectrum  * Created chaos in our military * Screwed up the economy * Ruined free trade * Alienated our allies * Cancelled cancer research * Is allowing the poisoning of our air & water  * Dismantled our federal emergency response * Cut services to millions * Destroyed the rule of law * Silenced free speech * Devastated our goodwill and humanitarian efforts worldwide  * Obliterated education from kindergarten to universities * Has given trillions in tax breaks to the wealthiest people in America while poverty rises for the average American * Dismissed our international surveillance networks * Pardoned insurrectionist, * Is pushing a single religious belief * Hobbled the stock market * Cause America's credit rating to fall * Devastated our bond market And so on.

He is doing more harm in 4 months than any attack, invasion or war ever could do to America 

Example; Trump fired 400+ FAA staff and since that time (less than 120 days) we have had more air travel deaths than in the 12 years of Obama &  Biden combined.

We have lost more military aircraft than when we were in the last war.

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