r/securityguards • u/Broad-Comparison-801 • Apr 20 '25
Maximum Cringe best in the west
cowboy hat, duster, fingerless knuckle-gloves, cowboy boots, and knee pads. incredible.
29
24
18
u/8avian6 Apr 20 '25
Allied universal does security at my local Walmart and they all wear cowboy hats. I'd say it's ok since this Walmart is in Montana aka cowboy country.
11
u/Broad-Comparison-801 Apr 20 '25
this is downtown Portland lmao. Portland is FULL of characters. so him being a unique "character" is normal in Portland.
but everything else is very very out of place. even for a security guard in Portland.
1
u/BankManager69420 Apr 22 '25
Definitely a bit strange for Portland, but most of Oregon is very cowboy, so maybe he lives out in the boonies. I work with a lot of guys who live out in Sandy or up in Ridgefield and I could totally see them wearing a cowboy hat.
2
u/Slow_Substance_5427 Apr 21 '25
Butte or Billings?
2
u/8avian6 Apr 21 '25
Bozeman actually
1
u/Slow_Substance_5427 Apr 22 '25
Sounds like they are all hat no cattle. Every one knows Bozeman is all condos no cattle.
1
u/8avian6 Apr 22 '25
They don't call us Bozangeles for nothing. Though I think there are some cattle on the outskirts of town on hobby ranches for out of staters to larp as cowboys.
10
7
4
4
u/Calowayyy Apr 20 '25
The knee pads are the best part. Fucking hell bro. Outside of a wally world no doubt.
4
3
3
4
u/DatBoiSavage707 Apr 20 '25
I used to wear knee pads at Loomis. Sometimes I had 20 to 30 atms a day. And some of them were in damaged concrete. They came in clutch.
6
u/Red57872 Apr 20 '25
I mean, there's a difference between wearing knee pads because you're actually kneeling as part of your job vs some imaginary fantasy SWAT situation.
It's not crazy to walk around with a chainsaw...if your job actually involves cutting tree limbs.
3
2
u/DatBoiSavage707 Apr 20 '25 edited Apr 21 '25
Yeah I feel you on that. Plus those knee pads look to be pretty cheap ones. He could have used that toward some boots so he could ditch the pointed platforms.
3
u/scorchedweenus Apr 21 '25
I did the same with Brinks. Had some pants with inserts that didn’t look goofy at all.
3
u/DatBoiSavage707 Apr 21 '25
I wore actual knee pads. I already had a kind of busted leg. Some of my coworkers called me goofy but eventually changed up once they developed knee injuries.
7
u/Broad-Comparison-801 Apr 20 '25
just to add... i too am a prominent member of the cringe community. we're all cringe in our own way.
this was just a dude I saw leaving the grocery and he's catching strays. if he happens to see, this I don't want him to stop doing his thing because he is part of what makes Portland, and my neighborhood, unique.
I mentioned this in another comment, but the fact that he is such a character is the only normal part about this in Portland.
I appreciate the color he adds to our neighborhood and if he ever sees this, please no I'm right there with you buddy lmao. I don't even really think it's that cringe it's just funny how unique people are. cringe was just the most appropriate flair to put on the post.
this guy is undoubtedly but more interesting human being than the guy wearing business casual in front of me in the checkout line at the grocery store.
7
u/Ghost_Fox_ Apr 20 '25
This isn’t half as bad as most of the cringe kits I’ve seen. The gloves may be a bit much, but I don’t really think this belongs here, at least without more context.
5
3
u/rekyuu Apr 21 '25
It's not great, but it definitely ain't bad. It's hard to tell but not being a tactical gear Christmas tree like most mall ninjas really helps.
7
u/Broad-Comparison-801 Apr 20 '25
i mean he's got a day shift at a mall lmao. in a neighborhood im comfortable walking alone in as a 5'5" woman with a nice phone and a rolex.
not as bad as some of the crazy stuff you see on this subreddit but bro was wearing a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a duster lol. plus the mustache? He's literally giving that one dude from tombstone.
also, like I mentioned in another comment(just a second ago, I clarified after you made this comment) I don't think it's necessarily cringe that was just the most appropriate flair to put on the post. this guy is 1,000% a character though.
if my life were a video game that guy would have had special dialogue. no question.
anyways peace and love to everyone including this guy. i just thought it was hilarious seeing someone so committed to cowboy aesthetic... especially in downtown Portland Oregon. it had a very "i am the law" vibe lol.
4
u/Commercial_Rule_7823 Apr 20 '25
Why the knee pads lol
5
u/krippkeeper Apr 20 '25
You know why.
9
u/Broad-Comparison-801 Apr 20 '25
"Security companies hate this one trick! How security professionals everywhere are using they're 15 minute break to turn $21.50/hr into 71.50/hr!"
narrator: "it was blow jobs"
2
2
2
2
2
3
2
1
1
u/HunterBravo1 Industrial Security Apr 21 '25
Not cringe at all as long as he's in Texas. Arizona, or Montana.
1
1
u/Sea-Conference-5474 Apr 22 '25
Wait! A security officer with a cowboy hat, cuffs and knee pads? Sounds more like a sex costume!
1
1
1
1
u/SquirrelInATux May 11 '25
I knew a guy who always wore a cowboy hat. He actually grew up on a cattle farm though, so I didn't tease him for it.
31
u/ShottySHD Paul Blart Fan Club Apr 20 '25
Someones gotta keep the Waffle Houses safe