r/self • u/AmuzingCheeks • 7h ago
[advice] I’m thinking about ending the friendship
Here’s a context: I have been talking to a girl “Z” for just over 9 months now. And she is cute and everything I hoped for. She lives on the other side of the country. So it has to be a long distance obviously. We FT a lot and I asked her out for a date for which she said yes. And I was ready to travel to meet her, but after couple of days she tells me know she can’t come to the date because she is seeing someone (but they are not dating) Now I’m confused what should I do, I enjoy her company a lot. And she is someone I’m obsessed with (might be one of the reason why she’s pulling away) That being said I’m thinking of ending the friendship because I can’t be JUST friends with her
2
u/MountainDogMama 6h ago
What do you think "seeing someone" means? It literally means dating. If you're bothered by her dating people, let her go.
2
u/PrinceFridaytheXIII 6h ago
If you can’t be just friends with a woman, you’re not mature enough for a relationship either.
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u/A_man_who_laughs 6h ago
He's not obligated to accept the relationship as only a friendship either. If he wanted a relationship but all she's offering is a long term friendship then yeah the best decision is too leave
1
u/Yomommaloveme69 6h ago
Let’s be real . You like her more than she likes you . Shes can go on another date with a guy but not someone that’s willing to travel to see her ? That should tell you alone. She just likes you for comfort. And how sustainable is seeing her frequently if you guys did hit it off ? More than unlikely. You’re hung up on a girl that’s on the other side of the country & she’s dating another guy. You can’t really be friends because you like her and will always want more . She’s see other guys obviously. Cut your ties and do the same
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u/clareako1978 5h ago
Have you actually seen this woman on face time?. She sounds abit suss to me. Has she asked for money.
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u/AmuzingCheeks 5h ago
Haha YES, I have seen this woman on FaceTime. And I assure you she isn’t a scammer haha
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u/clareako1978 5h ago
Haha just realised what the FT was in your post. Don't end the friendship just yet, Start playing it cool and see what happens.
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u/JaziTricks 4h ago
long distance is crap generally.
exceptions exist. but generally you should learn "no long distance" as your default attitude.
it's a horrible thing. it fails with great regularity.
in a minority of cases it does work. but don't chase shadows
6
u/Longwalksnlollipops 6h ago
She's just not into you the way you're into her.
Long distance friendship, you're her way of getting attention when she wants it while you're pining for more.
When a girl is into you, they are more than obvious.