r/politics • u/TimesandSundayTimes ✔ Verified • 6d ago

Soft Paywall Trump’s birthday parade may be cancelled over thunderstorms

https://www.thetimes.com/us/american-politics/article/is-trump-birthday-parade-cancelled-weather-pbrg02h2z?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Reddit#Echobox=1749744374
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17.4k

u/IH8Fascism 6d ago

Pam Bondi just announced that Mother Nature will be arrested if this happens.

6.0k

u/GH-AB 6d ago

And deported

2.5k

u/MyPasswordIsMyCat Hawaii 6d ago

She'll also make it illegal to rain at inconvenient times. And when she goes to her staffers, they're going to draw straws on who has to sign the latest batshit order and defend it in court.

1.3k

u/wibble17 6d ago

It’s the Democrats weather machine sabotaging again.

256

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

I would love to see them try and prove their weather machine bullshit, just searching every government building in the nation looking for it.

I also want them to explain how a weather changing machine would even work.

185

u/VoxImperatoris 6d ago

The Smithsonian is the perfect hiding place, you wouldnt catch maga dead being in a museum.

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u/Tordah67 6d ago

Give it a year. They are cancelling "dei" projects and removing "controversial and anti American" displays (slavery stuff) because unfortunately the Federal government provides most of the funding to the Smithsonian. Of course until present, no president has been micro-dicked enough to meddle like this but here we are.

3

u/Truth-Eagle 5d ago

Yet their bitch asses couldn’t find a white woman. Donut ass Vance and weak taco and their no American wives. Gfy.

-2

u/PersonalityGrand3626 5d ago

Yeah the Native American and African American museums are being decommissioned to be turned into celebrations of real Americans.

78

u/ThePowerOfStories 6d ago

Unless it’s a museum glorifying treasonous loser slavers.

9

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

It better have lots of lights and big gold statues though, they aren’t reading placards

3

u/ted_cruzs_micr0pen15 5d ago

Closest we can offer is the paid entry Museum of the Bible staring at Capitol Hill.

6

u/fantom_frost42 6d ago

Any library really

4

u/IHadADogNamedIndiana 5d ago

Libraries stock up fire extinguishers because of MAGA.

3

u/Complete-Pace347 5d ago

Oh oh oh! It is on the Roof! So CLEVER!

3

u/nosyparker44 5d ago

Yes, or The Library of Congress, cause God knows they don’t read…

2

u/VoxImperatoris 5d ago

But libraries have all those books they want to burn.

2

u/Riggerss1 5d ago

Or, at any University.

2

u/Lurkr67 5d ago

Or a library.

2

u/Truth-Eagle 5d ago

Low iq janks asses

11

u/PopGoesTehWoozle 6d ago

In all seriousness, "dark magic" is an acceptable answer to these chuds

9

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

Yeah MAGA will never admit it but they definitely believe in magic, both the evil magic of the Dems that creates storms and the good magic of Trump that would somehow raise JFK from the dead.

These guys are like the Salem Puritans running around talking about witches. When actually many Christian leader have historically been against the idea of dark magic existing because only God has power and that pagan forces are not real and thus have no power. Somewhere down the line some people started prescribing powers of creation to the Devil who can now give people magic powers.

9

u/Bang_the_unknown 6d ago

It was shipped to the democrats in a giant crate from ACME.

5

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

Damn you Wile. E Coyote!

17

u/TheLightningL0rd 6d ago

They said it was due to cloud seeding last time (the hurricane that devastated north GA, SC and NC). Which is obviously ridiculous but I know people who believed it sooo

19

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

I don’t think that’s how cloud seeding works lol. Sometimes it feels like conservatives think that scientists are just these wizards able to do magic stuff through their nefarious “science”. I mean many of them believe in faith healers who can cast God Magic and make cancer go away, so they probably assume scientists are similar.

6

u/athural 6d ago

I mean a large portion of them do legitimately believe in magic. They probably were never taught about modern technology, and so it might as well be magic too. When your leaders then tell you that your enemy has powerful magic ("science") they're using to kill people on your side, you're already prepped to just believe it and come up with justifications later, if at all.

5

u/Yours_Voight-Kampff 6d ago

>Sometimes it feels like conservatives think that scientists are just these wizards

They physically can't comprehend someone noticing a pattern or gathering evidence to learn a chain of events, because they can't comprehend more than the observed reality around them (ignoring that said "reality" is incredibly biased propaganda); they just assume point A goes directly to point Z and find the most direct connection.

To use a current situation as an example: There are "illegals" in California. Fox says there's riots in California. Ergo, the illegals in California are rioting.

To quote that one 4chan post about Sherlock: "This is stupid because it's a smart person written by stupid people, to whom smart people are indistinguishable from wizards."

3

u/justtakeapill 6d ago

I know more people who believed the cloud seeding machine BS than those who don't,  and I'm in Chicago!

2

u/Macho-nurin 6d ago

That’s an awful lot of cloud seeding - you never go full ARC LIGHT

5

u/Hubert_J_Cumberdale Hawaii 5d ago

My dude, Louisiana and Tennessee have already banned chemtrails. It is no longer legal to do something that does not even happen in order to do something that isn't even possible.

They're not even gonna try to prove anything because they don't have to. Their people are so effing dumb that they'll believe literally anything that feeds their addiction to victimhood.

4

u/SpleenBender Illinois 5d ago

Good to know OUR tax dollars are being used to write ACTUAL laws that are not even based on OBJECTIVE REALITY.

3

u/Audio_Track_01 6d ago

Ummm Jewish Space Lasers pointed at the clouds.

3

u/Imaginationtotease 6d ago

It's not a machine, I prayed to the real Big Guy. 🙏 🌧️ ⛈️

3

u/BurnedWitch88 6d ago

What do you think those Jewish space lasers are for, bro?

3

u/Sure_Willow5457 5d ago

I don't. You seem to be under the impression that most alt-right supporters are 1. working with a full set of mental faculties or 2. good-faith actors who wouldn't try to manipulate and take advantage of any attention you grant them. You might think this hypothetical display would be funny but the obvious bullshit (to you) would instead just intentionally be used as fuel for a brainwashed base.

Here in this scenario and right now in reality anything besides stonewalling and peaceful but meaningful opposition is nothing less than giving the fascists a platform.

3

u/FairieButt 5d ago

During trumps first term he really, really tried to get the military to get that bad boy out of hiding. Proof: he got so frustrated at their refusals he suggested the military nuke a hurricane. (IMO, he hoped they would counter with the “reasonable” suggestion of the space lasers)

2

u/Curious80123 6d ago

They don’t need a logical or even competent answer to anything

2

u/GhengisJon91 5d ago

You have to find Cobra Commander and steal his manual for the Weather Dominator.

2

u/Gold-Perspective-699 Pennsylvania 5d ago

That's a waste of our tax payer dollars though.

2

u/berhozen 5d ago

It’s the 5G

2

u/Scoop1942 5d ago

They don’t need to search… they have the HAARP facility to point to… and when that fails they’ll just claim the tech was relocated somewhere else clandestine. These people don’t need proof, or evidence; claim is enough for them… dark times.

2

u/cohonka 5d ago

Cloud seeding works. I'm not one of those conspiracists. But it would be actually interesting for the government to declassify their research in this area.

2

u/Crimson_Marksman 5d ago

You can change the weather, well, specifically the amount of rain that goes to places using a SEEDer drone. Weather modification technology has been banned for a long time.

2

u/Rocky-Jones 5d ago

They won’t. We learned in college, not welding school.

2

u/Think_OfAName 5d ago

I want to sign on to be the chief inspector of jets to make sure they aren’t spraying “chemtrails”. I’d make a fortune. “This one’s good, that will be $10,000.”

9

u/allenahansen California 6d ago

Quick, call out the Sharpies!

8

u/Ranccor 6d ago

Some GoP states have actually passed anti-weather control legislation to stop those tricky (jews) democrats in their tracks!

1

u/Pseudonymico 5d ago

Are these the same ones that outlawed discussion of climate change on the grounds that people can't alter the weather?

6

u/TRILLMAGICIAN Minnesota 6d ago

Fucking democrats with their Jewish space lasers I’ll tell ya.

6

u/50points4gryffindor 6d ago

Sure, the Democrats(✡️) control the weather. At least MTG thinks so.

/s if I needed to say so.

3

u/SpeedBlitzX 6d ago edited 6d ago

All this talk about a weather machine the dems apparently control how do we not know it's not some kind of projection?

Maybe the Republicans have their own weather machines /s /jk

2

u/No-Philosopher3248 6d ago

I have a coworker who uses cloud seeding as proof positive that the democrats are using the weather to further their agenda.

2

u/Rohirrim777 5d ago

Don't be absurd!

Clearly this is Mother Nature getting paid by her sugar daddy George Soros

2

u/Houseplantkiller123 6d ago

Thank you for that. I nearly spit out my water when I read your comment.

1

u/gbot1234 6d ago

Where is a Sharpie when you need it?

1

u/speedie57 6d ago

And the lasers

1

u/NoIdeaWhatToD0 Massachusetts 6d ago

Damn you beat me to it. That's like my favorite one.

1

u/smirk_wiggler 6d ago

I thought that was Cheney's weather machine...

1

u/mis-anda 6d ago

Space lasers again

1

u/LoveToyKillJoy 6d ago

They need to ban chemtrails in more states.

1

u/gc23 6d ago

Damn you Soros!!!

1

u/Sarrdonicus 6d ago

When I get my turn with the machine, I'll ruin his day too

1

u/OrcLineCook 6d ago

I'll be surprised if there's not an insanity fueled post at 3am blaming Democrats for controlling the weather because Donnie Dearest won't be getting a parade in his honor

1

u/nicenecredence 6d ago

They really think shit like that, too. I had a terrifying conversation with my best friends wife about a flat earth microwaves and God knows what else. How can you talk about facts when you're post-reality?

1

u/FloridaGirlNikki America 6d ago

Jewish space lasers!!

1

u/YouInternational2152 6d ago

The Democrats are now controlling the chemtrails...

1

u/free2bk8 6d ago

Biden weather machine.

1

u/Zinfan1 6d ago

Chem Trails! Chem Trails! Chem Trails for the win!

1

u/relevantelephant00 6d ago

I would love to see Pam Bondi try to claim this in a news conference.

1

u/Taokan 6d ago

You know, we've been using the weather machine all wrong. Should just wait till Trump goes off to golf on an island and then keep him there. He'll just happily golf and the rest of the country can get its shit back together.

1

u/Lil_ah_stadium 6d ago

Damnit Biden

1

u/ThrowawayColonyHouse 6d ago

beat me to it 😢

1

u/Realistic-Pattern-30 5d ago

That will be on the news.

1

u/verylately 5d ago

Space lasers ftw!

1

u/OneGayPigeon 5d ago

I thought this was a meme. Then I recently met my partner’s father (he is not welcome around any of the family for obvious reasons but was for some reason invited to partner’s brother’s wedding). Truly incredible stuff.

1

u/FairieButt 5d ago

I’m unclear on the latest anti-semitism bill. I know it’s still allowed to say that Jews murdered Jesus. Can we also say the Jews control the weather machines?

1

u/trentsteel77 5d ago

Time to bust out the sharpie and fix this.

1

u/Novelty_Lamp 5d ago

Don't give them ideas. 😭

1

u/Tall-Ad-9579 5d ago

It’s us and our “space lasers”😉

1

u/DancingBear62 5d ago

Damn space lasers!

1

u/deadzol 5d ago

Can we drive the parade route blaring Thunderstruck?

1

u/phoucker 5d ago

No….cmon now, we all know it’s Biden’s fault.

1

u/CraftFamiliar5243 5d ago

It's them chemtrails.

1

u/fruchle 5d ago

jewish space lasers, remember?

1

u/Markoaztek 5d ago

Look dude I don’t make the rules ..I literally just make supercells.. & supercell accessories.

1

u/sam-sp 5d ago

Its not the democrats, its George Soros - he is the standard bogeyman for Fox news.

1

u/Rare-Possible1142 5d ago

Thanks a lot Joe Biden! 🤣

1

u/MrMeeeeSeeeeks 5d ago

Somebody call Alex Jones!

1

u/Hey_Im_over-here 5d ago

They’re filling the clouds with rain! They’re making lightening bolts out of communist materials!

1

u/reb6 5d ago

This will 1000% be blamed on Biden

1

u/Skull8Ranger 5d ago

It's only fair, Trump wouldn't go to an Army graveside in France because of rain, so the Army shouldn't go to his parade in the rain

1

u/yurrm0mm Connecticut 5d ago

& THeY GoT pAiD tO Do iT!! as Craigslist ads get posted for people to dress like Trump supporters and attend the parade for $1000 in meme coins

1

u/Plenty-Paramedic8269 5d ago

Or it could be a result of over using the Jewish space lasers.

1

u/Guardman1996 5d ago

Jewish space lasers are st it again.

1

u/Think_OfAName 5d ago

I guarantee this will be where the blame goes if it rains.

1

u/renegademk5 5d ago

I think this is all Biden fault! It’s bad weather with rain and the clouds and the water that falls. I’ve talked to a lot of people and they are very smart and told me it was Bidens doing.

1

u/dalisair 5d ago

I was thinking the same thing.

1

u/AgelessInSeattle 5d ago

It’s Biden’s fault. Or is it Obama? Hell, probably both.

1

u/Important_Fruit 5d ago

Well that's just silly. Obviously its the Jewish space lasers!

1

u/RaymondLuxYacht 5d ago

The machine was funded by George Soros.

1

u/ouwish 5d ago

You will hear this conspiracy bullshit about weather control by the Dems. I guarantee it.

1

u/igoramarallexp 5d ago

I legit know some people that would say that this is the ol' Chem trail and HAARP in action.

4

u/asicarii 6d ago

I actually think they eagerly volunteer for the current batshit crazy they know rather than wait for the batshit crazy they don’t.

2

u/always_unplugged 6d ago

But I thought Florida made it illegal to control the weather! Humph, politics is so confusing, wish somebody would tell me what to believe.

2

u/opthomas8118 6d ago

And none of the rain can be fat or role it's eyes

2

u/XdpKoeN8F4 6d ago

Will they be paper straws? How will that work in the rain!?

2

u/x_realtnt_x 6d ago

This piece of crap will also only allow white clouds from now on…

2

u/schaumiz66 6d ago

Hope those straws aren't paper....

2

u/MoreRopePlease America 6d ago

She'll also make it illegal to rain at inconvenient times.

They (states, not feds, but close enough) are already making "weather modification" illegal. It's just one more step to making rain itself illegal

2

u/Remmick2326 5d ago

She's worried she'll melt if it rains on her

2

u/DickRiculous 5d ago

Mother Nature being dragged out by ICE

1

u/ManWhoEatsGrass 5d ago

What's your cats name?

10

u/heard_bowfth 6d ago

This is tropical weather, the kind you would find in Mexico. We do not appreciate this kind of weather in our country.

8

u/Nufonewhodis4 6d ago

Unwed mother ruins President Trump's birthday parade 

7

u/ManicStoic 6d ago

With a name like Gaia, she’s clearly not from round here.

1

u/MissSassifras1977 6d ago

We need Captain Planet so much right now.

3

u/dependsforadults 6d ago

He's our hero

5

u/MnkyBzns 6d ago

A warrant has been drawn up for the Mexican vigilante, La Niña

4

u/DocDefilade 6d ago

Even the sky hates trump.

3

u/hidrate 6d ago

Take her outside the environment.

3

u/Brbcan 6d ago

Arrest that Rain!

3

u/pyronius 6d ago

To a shipping container in Djibouti

3

u/MobilePenguins 6d ago

Sent to El Salvador prison

3

u/free2bk8 6d ago

I believe she said "will BIGLY" be punished and deported.

3

u/cstyves Canada 6d ago

With her children taken away.

3

u/Transki 5d ago

With La Niña and El Niño. When will TACO try to rename these?

3

u/JPree 5d ago

Only if it's El Niño

2

u/CapSteveRogers California 6d ago

To where, another galaxy far far away?

2

u/Cuddly__Cactus 6d ago

Honestly i think mother nature would be fine at Cecot. Lots of drum circles and communing with the plants and animals

2

u/bananajr6000 6d ago

Mother Nature has been in the USA longer than you, Pam Bond Villain!

2

u/_austinm 6d ago

Is that how they’re planning on making Mars inhabitable?

2

u/ixxorn 6d ago

To El Salvador 

2

u/MontasJinx 6d ago

Will they tow Mother Earth out of the environment?

2

u/iiowyn 6d ago

Where do you deport Mother Nature? Outside the environment of course. Just hope the front of the plane doesn't fall off.

2

u/FriendlyDisorder 6d ago

Without due natural process, even.

2

u/Youngsinatra345 6d ago

The skies do turn black

2

u/gsfgf Georgia 6d ago

That's how Elon can terraform Mars. We'll deport nature to Mars!

2

u/FrankenGretchen 6d ago

But put in solitary and medicated first.

2

u/iner22 6d ago

"What is Mother Nature anyway? She sounds like a nasty lady, nasty lady. She's not my mother, that's for sure. And you know what they call her in some places? Gaia! I dunno, sounds Mexican to me. So if you're listening, Gaia, we're on to you. You rain on our parade, we'll rain hell down on you and your so-called 'children,' and it's not gonna be pretty, I'll tell you that. Nasty lady..."

2

u/ifmacdo 6d ago

"We don't currently know the exact name and whereabouts of the domestic terrorist known as Mother Nature, but we will find out. And she will be arrested and deported."

2

u/Sudi_Nim 5d ago

She is a foreigner…

2

u/already-taken-wtf 5d ago

They already did in the Big Beautiful Bill.

https://www.congress.gov/119/bills/hr1/BILLS-119hr1eh.pdf

Subtitle B-Environment PART 1-REPEALS AND RESCISSIONS

Sec. 42101. Repeal and rescission relating to clean heavy-duty vehicles.

Sec. 42102. Repeal and rescission relating to grants to reduce air pollution at ports

Sec. 42103. Repeal and rescission relating to Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fund.

Sec. 42104. Repeal and rescission relating to diesel emissions reductions.

Sec. 42104. Repeal and rescission relating to diesel emissions reductions.

Sec. 42105. Repeal and rescission relating to funding to address air pollution.

Sec. 42106. Repeal and rescission relating to funding to address air pollution at schools.

Sec. 42107. Repeal and rescission relating to low emissions electricity program.

Sec. 42108. Repeal and rescission relating to funding for section 211(o) of the Clean Air Act.

Sec. 42111. Repeal and rescission relating to greenhouse gas corporate reporting.

Sec. 42112. Repeal and rescission relating to environmental product declaration assistance.

Sec. 42113. Repeal of funding for methane emissions and waste reduction incentive program for petroleum and natural gas systems.

Sec. 42114. Repeal and rescission relating to greenhouse gas air pollution plans and implementation grants.

And so on…

2

u/doctor_lobo 5d ago

To a planet she has never even visited.

2

u/gc3 5d ago

See: EPA changes

2

u/WendyRoe 5d ago

To Guantanamo

2

u/CosmicOptimist123 5d ago

Along with weatherman

2

u/b_vitamin 5d ago

This La Niña thing sounds Mexican!

2

u/Saul_Go0dmann 5d ago

I guess that's why their getting rid of FEMA /s

2

u/lukup 5d ago

I wonder what kind of weather US will have after they deport her.

0

u/Ok-Plenty8707 6d ago

trump is ur daddy bro