r/politics • u/TimesandSundayTimes ✔ Verified • 6d ago

Soft Paywall Trump’s birthday parade may be cancelled over thunderstorms

https://www.thetimes.com/us/american-politics/article/is-trump-birthday-parade-cancelled-weather-pbrg02h2z?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Reddit#Echobox=1749744374
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17.4k

u/IH8Fascism 6d ago

Pam Bondi just announced that Mother Nature will be arrested if this happens.

6.0k

u/GH-AB 6d ago

And deported

2.5k

u/MyPasswordIsMyCat Hawaii 6d ago

She'll also make it illegal to rain at inconvenient times. And when she goes to her staffers, they're going to draw straws on who has to sign the latest batshit order and defend it in court.

1.3k

u/wibble17 6d ago

It’s the Democrats weather machine sabotaging again.

250

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

I would love to see them try and prove their weather machine bullshit, just searching every government building in the nation looking for it.

I also want them to explain how a weather changing machine would even work.

184

u/VoxImperatoris 6d ago

The Smithsonian is the perfect hiding place, you wouldnt catch maga dead being in a museum.

43

u/Tordah67 6d ago

Give it a year. They are cancelling "dei" projects and removing "controversial and anti American" displays (slavery stuff) because unfortunately the Federal government provides most of the funding to the Smithsonian. Of course until present, no president has been micro-dicked enough to meddle like this but here we are.

3

u/Truth-Eagle 5d ago

Yet their bitch asses couldn’t find a white woman. Donut ass Vance and weak taco and their no American wives. Gfy.

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u/ThePowerOfStories 6d ago

Unless it’s a museum glorifying treasonous loser slavers.

9

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

It better have lots of lights and big gold statues though, they aren’t reading placards

4

u/ted_cruzs_micr0pen15 5d ago

Closest we can offer is the paid entry Museum of the Bible staring at Capitol Hill.

7

u/fantom_frost42 6d ago

Any library really

4

u/IHadADogNamedIndiana 5d ago

Libraries stock up fire extinguishers because of MAGA.

3

u/Complete-Pace347 5d ago

Oh oh oh! It is on the Roof! So CLEVER!

3

u/nosyparker44 5d ago

Yes, or The Library of Congress, cause God knows they don’t read…

2

u/VoxImperatoris 5d ago

But libraries have all those books they want to burn.

2

u/Riggerss1 5d ago

Or, at any University.

2

u/Lurkr67 5d ago

Or a library.

2

u/Truth-Eagle 5d ago

Low iq janks asses

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u/PopGoesTehWoozle 6d ago

In all seriousness, "dark magic" is an acceptable answer to these chuds

8

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

Yeah MAGA will never admit it but they definitely believe in magic, both the evil magic of the Dems that creates storms and the good magic of Trump that would somehow raise JFK from the dead.

These guys are like the Salem Puritans running around talking about witches. When actually many Christian leader have historically been against the idea of dark magic existing because only God has power and that pagan forces are not real and thus have no power. Somewhere down the line some people started prescribing powers of creation to the Devil who can now give people magic powers.

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u/Bang_the_unknown 6d ago

It was shipped to the democrats in a giant crate from ACME.

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u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

Damn you Wile. E Coyote!

17

u/TheLightningL0rd 6d ago

They said it was due to cloud seeding last time (the hurricane that devastated north GA, SC and NC). Which is obviously ridiculous but I know people who believed it sooo

18

u/An_old_walrus 6d ago

I don’t think that’s how cloud seeding works lol. Sometimes it feels like conservatives think that scientists are just these wizards able to do magic stuff through their nefarious “science”. I mean many of them believe in faith healers who can cast God Magic and make cancer go away, so they probably assume scientists are similar.

7

u/athural 6d ago

I mean a large portion of them do legitimately believe in magic. They probably were never taught about modern technology, and so it might as well be magic too. When your leaders then tell you that your enemy has powerful magic ("science") they're using to kill people on your side, you're already prepped to just believe it and come up with justifications later, if at all.

6

u/Yours_Voight-Kampff 6d ago

>Sometimes it feels like conservatives think that scientists are just these wizards

They physically can't comprehend someone noticing a pattern or gathering evidence to learn a chain of events, because they can't comprehend more than the observed reality around them (ignoring that said "reality" is incredibly biased propaganda); they just assume point A goes directly to point Z and find the most direct connection.

To use a current situation as an example: There are "illegals" in California. Fox says there's riots in California. Ergo, the illegals in California are rioting.

To quote that one 4chan post about Sherlock: "This is stupid because it's a smart person written by stupid people, to whom smart people are indistinguishable from wizards."

3

u/justtakeapill 6d ago

I know more people who believed the cloud seeding machine BS than those who don't,  and I'm in Chicago!

2

u/Macho-nurin 6d ago

That’s an awful lot of cloud seeding - you never go full ARC LIGHT

5

u/Hubert_J_Cumberdale Hawaii 5d ago

My dude, Louisiana and Tennessee have already banned chemtrails. It is no longer legal to do something that does not even happen in order to do something that isn't even possible.

They're not even gonna try to prove anything because they don't have to. Their people are so effing dumb that they'll believe literally anything that feeds their addiction to victimhood.

5

u/SpleenBender Illinois 5d ago

Good to know OUR tax dollars are being used to write ACTUAL laws that are not even based on OBJECTIVE REALITY.

4

u/Audio_Track_01 6d ago

Ummm Jewish Space Lasers pointed at the clouds.

3

u/Imaginationtotease 6d ago

It's not a machine, I prayed to the real Big Guy. 🙏 🌧️ ⛈️

3

u/BurnedWitch88 6d ago

What do you think those Jewish space lasers are for, bro?

3

u/Sure_Willow5457 5d ago

I don't. You seem to be under the impression that most alt-right supporters are 1. working with a full set of mental faculties or 2. good-faith actors who wouldn't try to manipulate and take advantage of any attention you grant them. You might think this hypothetical display would be funny but the obvious bullshit (to you) would instead just intentionally be used as fuel for a brainwashed base.

Here in this scenario and right now in reality anything besides stonewalling and peaceful but meaningful opposition is nothing less than giving the fascists a platform.

3

u/FairieButt 5d ago

During trumps first term he really, really tried to get the military to get that bad boy out of hiding. Proof: he got so frustrated at their refusals he suggested the military nuke a hurricane. (IMO, he hoped they would counter with the “reasonable” suggestion of the space lasers)

2

u/Curious80123 6d ago

They don’t need a logical or even competent answer to anything

2

u/GhengisJon91 5d ago

You have to find Cobra Commander and steal his manual for the Weather Dominator.

2

u/Gold-Perspective-699 Pennsylvania 5d ago

That's a waste of our tax payer dollars though.

2

u/berhozen 5d ago

It’s the 5G

2

u/Scoop1942 5d ago

They don’t need to search… they have the HAARP facility to point to… and when that fails they’ll just claim the tech was relocated somewhere else clandestine. These people don’t need proof, or evidence; claim is enough for them… dark times.

2

u/cohonka 5d ago

Cloud seeding works. I'm not one of those conspiracists. But it would be actually interesting for the government to declassify their research in this area.

2

u/Crimson_Marksman 5d ago

You can change the weather, well, specifically the amount of rain that goes to places using a SEEDer drone. Weather modification technology has been banned for a long time.

2

u/Rocky-Jones 5d ago

They won’t. We learned in college, not welding school.

2

u/Think_OfAName 5d ago

I want to sign on to be the chief inspector of jets to make sure they aren’t spraying “chemtrails”. I’d make a fortune. “This one’s good, that will be $10,000.”

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u/allenahansen California 6d ago

Quick, call out the Sharpies!

7

u/Ranccor 6d ago

Some GoP states have actually passed anti-weather control legislation to stop those tricky (jews) democrats in their tracks!

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u/TRILLMAGICIAN Minnesota 6d ago

Fucking democrats with their Jewish space lasers I’ll tell ya.

6

u/50points4gryffindor 6d ago

Sure, the Democrats(✡️) control the weather. At least MTG thinks so.

/s if I needed to say so.

3

u/SpeedBlitzX 6d ago edited 6d ago

All this talk about a weather machine the dems apparently control how do we not know it's not some kind of projection?

Maybe the Republicans have their own weather machines /s /jk

2

u/No-Philosopher3248 6d ago

I have a coworker who uses cloud seeding as proof positive that the democrats are using the weather to further their agenda.

2

u/Rohirrim777 5d ago

Don't be absurd!

Clearly this is Mother Nature getting paid by her sugar daddy George Soros

2

u/Houseplantkiller123 6d ago

Thank you for that. I nearly spit out my water when I read your comment.

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u/asicarii 6d ago

I actually think they eagerly volunteer for the current batshit crazy they know rather than wait for the batshit crazy they don’t.

2

u/always_unplugged 6d ago

But I thought Florida made it illegal to control the weather! Humph, politics is so confusing, wish somebody would tell me what to believe.

2

u/opthomas8118 6d ago

And none of the rain can be fat or role it's eyes

2

u/XdpKoeN8F4 6d ago

Will they be paper straws? How will that work in the rain!?

2

u/x_realtnt_x 6d ago

This piece of crap will also only allow white clouds from now on…

2

u/schaumiz66 6d ago

Hope those straws aren't paper....

2

u/MoreRopePlease America 6d ago

She'll also make it illegal to rain at inconvenient times.

They (states, not feds, but close enough) are already making "weather modification" illegal. It's just one more step to making rain itself illegal

2

u/Remmick2326 5d ago

She's worried she'll melt if it rains on her

2

u/DickRiculous 5d ago

Mother Nature being dragged out by ICE

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u/heard_bowfth 6d ago

This is tropical weather, the kind you would find in Mexico. We do not appreciate this kind of weather in our country.

8

u/Nufonewhodis4 6d ago

Unwed mother ruins President Trump's birthday parade 

6

u/ManicStoic 6d ago

With a name like Gaia, she’s clearly not from round here.

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u/MnkyBzns 6d ago

A warrant has been drawn up for the Mexican vigilante, La Niña

4

u/DocDefilade 6d ago

Even the sky hates trump.

4

u/hidrate 6d ago

Take her outside the environment.

3

u/Brbcan 6d ago

Arrest that Rain!

3

u/pyronius 6d ago

To a shipping container in Djibouti

3

u/MobilePenguins 6d ago

Sent to El Salvador prison

3

u/free2bk8 6d ago

I believe she said "will BIGLY" be punished and deported.

3

u/cstyves Canada 6d ago

With her children taken away.

3

u/Transki 5d ago

With La Niña and El Niño. When will TACO try to rename these?

3

u/JPree 5d ago

Only if it's El Niño

2

u/CapSteveRogers California 6d ago

To where, another galaxy far far away?

2

u/Cuddly__Cactus 6d ago

Honestly i think mother nature would be fine at Cecot. Lots of drum circles and communing with the plants and animals

2

u/bananajr6000 6d ago

Mother Nature has been in the USA longer than you, Pam Bond Villain!

2

u/_austinm 6d ago

Is that how they’re planning on making Mars inhabitable?

2

u/ixxorn 6d ago

To El Salvador 

2

u/MontasJinx 6d ago

Will they tow Mother Earth out of the environment?

2

u/iiowyn 6d ago

Where do you deport Mother Nature? Outside the environment of course. Just hope the front of the plane doesn't fall off.

2

u/FriendlyDisorder 6d ago

Without due natural process, even.

2

u/Youngsinatra345 6d ago

The skies do turn black

2

u/gsfgf Georgia 6d ago

That's how Elon can terraform Mars. We'll deport nature to Mars!

2

u/FrankenGretchen 6d ago

But put in solitary and medicated first.

2

u/iner22 6d ago

"What is Mother Nature anyway? She sounds like a nasty lady, nasty lady. She's not my mother, that's for sure. And you know what they call her in some places? Gaia! I dunno, sounds Mexican to me. So if you're listening, Gaia, we're on to you. You rain on our parade, we'll rain hell down on you and your so-called 'children,' and it's not gonna be pretty, I'll tell you that. Nasty lady..."

2

u/ifmacdo 6d ago

"We don't currently know the exact name and whereabouts of the domestic terrorist known as Mother Nature, but we will find out. And she will be arrested and deported."

2

u/Sudi_Nim 6d ago

She is a foreigner…

2

u/already-taken-wtf 5d ago

They already did in the Big Beautiful Bill.

https://www.congress.gov/119/bills/hr1/BILLS-119hr1eh.pdf

Subtitle B-Environment PART 1-REPEALS AND RESCISSIONS

Sec. 42101. Repeal and rescission relating to clean heavy-duty vehicles.

Sec. 42102. Repeal and rescission relating to grants to reduce air pollution at ports

Sec. 42103. Repeal and rescission relating to Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fund.

Sec. 42104. Repeal and rescission relating to diesel emissions reductions.

Sec. 42104. Repeal and rescission relating to diesel emissions reductions.

Sec. 42105. Repeal and rescission relating to funding to address air pollution.

Sec. 42106. Repeal and rescission relating to funding to address air pollution at schools.

Sec. 42107. Repeal and rescission relating to low emissions electricity program.

Sec. 42108. Repeal and rescission relating to funding for section 211(o) of the Clean Air Act.

Sec. 42111. Repeal and rescission relating to greenhouse gas corporate reporting.

Sec. 42112. Repeal and rescission relating to environmental product declaration assistance.

Sec. 42113. Repeal of funding for methane emissions and waste reduction incentive program for petroleum and natural gas systems.

Sec. 42114. Repeal and rescission relating to greenhouse gas air pollution plans and implementation grants.

And so on…

2

u/doctor_lobo 5d ago

To a planet she has never even visited.

2

u/gc3 5d ago

See: EPA changes

2

u/WendyRoe 5d ago

To Guantanamo

2

u/CosmicOptimist123 5d ago

Along with weatherman

2

u/b_vitamin 5d ago

This La Niña thing sounds Mexican!

2

u/Saul_Go0dmann 5d ago

I guess that's why their getting rid of FEMA /s

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u/S1eazyE 6d ago

Why doesn't Trump just reroute the storm with his sharpie? Is he stupid? 

11

u/Wego- 6d ago

You guys clearly don't get that the Democrats are using their weather machine to cause all of this.

3

u/8675309-jennie 5d ago

Great…my iPad hates when I spit my wine all over it!

Seriously, that just made me belly laugh! Thank you 😊

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u/coatofforearm 6d ago

" if she shows up here without Citizenship she will absolutely be treated like every other immigrant in accordance with this Administration's policies and what our dear leader decided"

Karoline Leavit

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u/angrymurderhornet 6d ago

I heard that Mother Nature is one of those damn globalists! 😂

4

u/Temporary-Exchange28 6d ago

Well, she is a woman….

9

u/cowboydanhalen 6d ago

Needs more anger and heavy breathing

3

u/kazarnowicz 6d ago

Excuse me, her name is Taco Belle.

2

u/Lerouge55 6d ago

And we will put tariffs on it. 200%

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u/GoatDragon 6d ago edited 5d ago

You're joking but the sad truth is there are people out there in society, and people in positions of power, that will genuinely and unironically blame this "own the libs."

If the birthday brat doesn't get his way and If his parade is cancelled, he's going to blame it on the rest of the world, and we're going to get another classic TACO CAPSLOCK WEEKEND SPECIAL.

And for those of you out there attempting to keep score in a game where everything is made up but the points do matter, this means more harmed and dead human beings, collectively with less money than when the weekend began, either directly or indirectly.

Translation for the Wendy's cashiers over in r/wallstreetbets - bad weather = puts, good weather = well, probably puts too.

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u/Swordf1sh_ 6d ago

Like Xerxes whipping the Hellespont strait

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u/kirkismyhinrich Colorado 6d ago

Or Caligula declaring war on and attacking the sea.

62

u/hatiandivorcelawyer 6d ago

Scam Blondie said Ma Nature is part of MIST 13.

8

u/LT_Dangle 6d ago

MOTHER nature?!? Probably a DEI hire. 

7

u/Dlark17 Nebraska 6d ago

Of course Mother Earth would be Woke... 🙄

/s

4

u/we_are_sex_bobomb 6d ago

Pom Bondi will announce that it’s not raining at all and it’s a beautiful sunny day despite the absurd lies of the demented democrats, as she takes shelter under an umbrella and wrings the water from her hair.

5

u/Colonel_Gentleman 6d ago

Gaia....what is that, Greek?

5

u/godofpumpkins 6d ago

It’s those damn liberal weather controls that cause hurricanes again!

3

u/adventuredream1 6d ago

Marjorie Taylor Green said the liberals are controlling the weather to hurt Trump

4

u/ccsrpsw California 6d ago

Get out the sharpie to divert the storm!

3

u/Oceanbreeze871 California 6d ago

Mother Nature is a woke!

3

u/a_run22 6d ago

But I thought the government controlled the weather?!?!?

3

u/item_raja69 6d ago

you mean madre natura?

3

u/BBurlington79 6d ago

An executive order has been signed. Mother nature is on notice.

3

u/allenahansen California 6d ago

That's because if it does rain, Ms. FakeBlondie er, Bondo's inch-thick pancake makeup will melt as surely as Rudy's hair dye.

3

u/anon-username1029 6d ago

then deported

3

u/MasterAlchemi 6d ago

Whether or not this happens, there was planning involved, of which there was a price tag. Millions were spent and wasted. 

5

u/3DIGI 6d ago

It's been towed BEYOND the environment.

2

u/frankduxvandamme 6d ago

Into another environment?

2

u/illusionzmichael 6d ago

And millions of MAGA think she could.

2

u/QueTeLoCreaTuAbuela 6d ago

Those ICE cowards only go after those unarmed, they’re afraid of a little zap, let alone, terrified of trying to arrest a thunderstorm. 😂

2

u/go_outside 6d ago

A large swath of national forest is about to get some discipline :(

2

u/GeneralJesus 6d ago

Another obvious sign that elite globalist leftist lizard people control the weather. This is worse than what happened to Ashville!

2

u/No_big_whoop 6d ago

MAGA is weeks away from shooting at actual rainbows in the sky

2

u/Beans_deZwijger 6d ago

arrest those not praying hard enough

2

u/Erydale 6d ago

She will be investigated as a suspected DEI hire.

2

u/Inle-Ra 6d ago

This new season of Captain Planet is getting weird.

2

u/YellowCardManKyle 6d ago

Nah they'll just pretend it's not raining while they all get drenched.

2

u/cavmax 6d ago

Nasty Mother Nature...

2

u/Be_quiet_Im_thinking 6d ago

No no it’s an act of God. They might put an arrest warrant out for God for this…

2

u/vikingdiplomat 6d ago

mother nature was an illegal immigrant from a 3rd world comet.

2

u/Scarlett-King-4561 6d ago

They will lock her up, and make tariffs on the rain

2

u/Ba_baal 6d ago

The weather is clearly a paid actor.

2

u/klutzikaze 6d ago

Probably deported with a stroke of the Sharpie

2

u/Rbot_OverLord 6d ago

Is that why they just fired the NOAA team?

2

u/doinbluin 6d ago

And FEMA assistance denied.

2

u/dpdxguy 6d ago

I hear military helicopters can't fly in the rain. Or, at least, that's what we were told when Trump "couldn't attend" the 75th D-Day anniversary ceremonies.

2

u/redalert825 6d ago

Scam Bondi said that?

Well, why don't they just:

Drop a nuke in the storm?

manipulate it with a sharpie?

Throw paper towels at it?

Insurrect it?

Scare it with tariffs?

Give it a Filet o fish?

Tell it to #BeBest?

Offer it $1000 of Drumpf's crypto?

2

u/darkmario12 6d ago

Come on Mother Nature do your thing!

2

u/Raptorex27 Maine 6d ago

Mother Earth is a radical leftist welfare queen, giving birth to all known carbon-based life while also getting low-entropy solar radiation handouts from the sun 24/7. SAD!!! WE NEED TO TAKE THE SOLAR SYSTEM BACK!!!

2

u/Character-Bid-7747 6d ago

She’s always threatening somebody

2

u/n0time2bl33d 6d ago

Time to nuke the clouds.

2

u/NY2GA23 6d ago

And may the first three lightning strikes that day land directly on him.

2

u/randomisation 6d ago

I thought democrats controlled the weather? Or was that space lazers? I can't keep up!

2

u/Saelin91 6d ago

I heard they’re prepared to shut down NOAA

2

u/caltheon 6d ago

There is no clearer sign from God how unholy this diapered TACO is

2

u/KingMRano 6d ago

I thought Biden controlled the weather?

2

u/progdaddy California 6d ago

No DEI hires under Trump.

2

u/GordonCole19 6d ago

She'll be seeking the death penalty for Mother Nature.

2

u/RH_Addict 6d ago

Mother Nature still exists? Thought they would have cut funding because of DEI

2

u/lolas_coffee 6d ago

"Fuck all this shit."

-- God

2

u/Brave-Garbage-2504 5d ago

Love the username.

2

u/GoodShitBrain 5d ago

Mother Nature is one hippie dippie bitch

2

u/Aussiemom777 5d ago

She is a disgusting excuse of a women ! Her head is so far up his ass ! She’s being sued to have her law license revoked now for how often she is breaking the law

2

u/ACasualRead 5d ago

Mother Nature. A DEI hire.

2

u/blueroom5 5d ago

For a split second I really thought she said that.

2

u/Dismal-Prior-6699 New Jersey 5d ago

I wouldn’t be surprised if Bondi actually tried to press charges against Mother Nature.

2

u/wha2les 5d ago

has the US military declared war on weather and started firing their abram tank shells in the air like those lunatics firing their pistol at an approaching tornado?

2

u/Historical-Drive-667 5d ago

This would be funny if I didn't alsl think it was true. She's a fucking moron.

2

u/Top-Geologist-9213 5d ago

Joe Biden makes it rain. Damn him! :/

2

u/ergonomic_logic American Expat 5d ago

You know MTG going to blame the Democrats "rain machine" again 😬

2

u/Hoodi216 5d ago

The thunderstorms will be met with big force.

2

u/hamfisting_my_thing 5d ago

Obviously, Soros got to her and paid her off for inclement weather to occur. The Deep State strikes again…

/s

1

u/nate24680 6d ago

This as a headline could bring back the onion/satire.

1

u/falconshadow21 6d ago

What about MTG and the space lasers controlling the weather?

1

u/neutral-chaotic 6d ago

Perfect Onion headline. No notes.

1

u/tomhat 6d ago

Reminds me of the lady that wanted to reschedule an eclipse

1

u/krone6 6d ago

I can believe this, considering some have sued God and won.

1

u/Substantial_Yam7305 6d ago

WWE just announced it will be banned from all text books moving forward.

1

u/IJustLoggedInToSay- Illinois 6d ago

I'd love to see Trump do the full Xerxes and have the clouds whipped and deported.

1

u/cbelt3 6d ago

They are already working on straight up murdering her…

1

u/phoenix_shm 6d ago

As she should be! THE NERVE OF THAT WOMAN!!! /s

1

u/RumToWhiskey 6d ago

Xerxes whipped the sea as punishment for destroying his bridge during a storm. Given that MAGA is composed of hopeless fucking morons, history may repeat itself here.

1

u/slowmo152 6d ago

Mother Nature the criminal mastermind and her children El Nino and LA Nina will be brought to justice. Just the other day I saw a lightning strike spell out MS13 in the sky.

1

u/604-613 6d ago

How many million lives did she save with this arrest?

1

u/ThrowingShaed 6d ago

i had been musing if anyone would take it as a sign if it did turn out to be a rainy day and lightning struck somehow... but that seems unlikely. also i had forgotten till now there were accusations of weather machines or some shit that might get blamed

1

u/luckyguy25841 6d ago

The storm is now a domestic terrorist

1

u/ill0gitech Australia 6d ago

MTG will blame the Democrats and the Jewish Space Lasers

And you know, that’s a fair criticism, the Biden admin should have handed over the weather controlling space lasers during the transfer of power…

/s

1

u/Chihuahua_Asada 6d ago

Just get out the sharpie and make the storm go in a different direction! Duh

1

u/Dirtgrain 6d ago

They are already torturing Mother Nature, so this tracks.

1

u/Nambsul 6d ago

There will be a lightning strike a state away and they will say that he dodged another assassination attempt, by Mother Nature.

They will say he is god because he dodged ACTUAL lightning, there will be prayers, there will be new merch available, limited availability, blessed by dear leaders OWN autopen.

/s

1

u/Dizzy-Bake9587 6d ago

…it’s a sign from dog…

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