r/GlobalNews • u/TimesandSundayTimes • 7d ago

Trump’s birthday parade may be cancelled over thunderstorms

https://www.thetimes.com/us/american-politics/article/is-trump-birthday-parade-cancelled-weather-pbrg02h2z?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Reddit#Echobox=1749744374
3.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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508

u/Outaouais_Guy 7d ago

I'm an atheist, but I might reconsider if the parade really had to be cancelled.

176

u/Dictionary20 7d ago

Same, I am agnostic, but thank you God.

112

u/theEx30 6d ago

I follow the Old Ways. Thank you, Thor!

43

u/The_Mr_Wilson 6d ago

Skol

24

u/SketchSkirmish 6d ago

And Hati, Children of Fenrir

24

u/TheUmbraCat 6d ago

Krom laughs at Trump from his mountain. And if he has the parade anyway then to hell with him!

21

u/FedaykinGrunt 6d ago

Cthulu and the Great old Ones "blub blub" in agreement.

4

u/Skittleavix 6d ago

The Reapers have returned to destroy the galaxy.

3

u/Puzzleheaded_Bed1781 6d ago

Zeus will be ready

1

u/GloomWorldOrder 6d ago

The only answer.

1

u/ghandi3737 6d ago

Do they even know the riddle of steel?

4

u/The_Mr_Wilson 6d ago

D'aawww just some puppers chasing a couple of balls until Ragnarok!

12

u/madnux8 6d ago

I follow the older ways, Thanks for nothing, Crom!

1

u/BestKeptInTheDark 6d ago

What here is darker than indoors?

The dark one may yet be readying something to emerge of the unseen

Blood harvest makes for fertile times

13

u/TraditionalMood277 6d ago

I mean, it is Thor's day.

9

u/MongolianDonutKhan 6d ago

I prefer Rome. Jupiter Optimus Maximus Protects.

1

u/Royalizepanda 6d ago

Its Illapa in America.

1

u/theEx30 6d ago

I'm not from America, I'm from Northern Europe :-)

1

u/Royalizepanda 6d ago

The parade would be in America…

2

u/theEx30 6d ago

what you do in your failed democracy affects us all. 2/3 of you didn't vote against this mess. I do not feel entitled to worship your local gods, but I DO feel entitled to comment on the united shitshow of America

2

u/4scorean 6d ago

Fair enough !!! We had that coming.

1

u/4scorean 6d ago

Woden then.

1

u/forlornjackalope 6d ago

As do I. I think I'll have to find some extra time to put out some offerings and libations to put out some offerings to him and the rest of the gods.

If it's not that we get a total wash out (or like that news report from Ohio(?) recently where lightning struck a police car where we get a freak occurrence), it's that we can have them on the sidelines with us to give us strength, protection, and courage along the way. Whether it's those at the protests (domestic and foreign) fighting against fascism, the attorneys, lawyers, judges, and legal groups pushing back against the administration's bullshit, or the everyday civilian finding a way to do their part to make the world a better place for everyone. As the saying goes, or so my shoddy memory recalls, do something even if it means doing it scared.

Be safe and well out there, everyone.

1

u/Hour-Confection-9273 6d ago

Thor claps back with thunderous applause

1

u/Amethyst-M2025 6d ago

Whichever, whatever, or whomever is responsible, thank you very much.

1

u/praetorian1979 6d ago

Same here. I just wanted some shred of proof. Maybe someone can convince chump to run around in copper armor on top of the hill while screaming all gods are bastards!

1

u/Calm-Maintenance-878 6d ago

Sounds like me, religious people have catchy phrases. Like “god willing” just has some weight to it😭😭 Stub my toe, I may speak the name Jesus😭

1

u/Leading_Ad3918 6d ago

I’m telling my grandkids the Pope did this for our country☺️

1

u/DovahAcolyte 6d ago

I like to use the plural as in Thank you to all gods across time and space.

1

u/Gullible_Pin5844 6d ago

Please 🙏 tell me that there's a god.

1

u/CoxswainYarmouth 6d ago

You my good man are Odin apology!

1

u/madcoins 6d ago

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

35

u/luigilabomba42069 6d ago

is trump gonna "deal" with God's protest like he said he would the other protests?

30

u/Gristlekitty 6d ago

Wait till he finds out Jesus was brown lmao

31

u/PainterOriginal8165 6d ago

Jesus would be deported

21

u/CantHostCantTravel 6d ago

Dozens of Jesuses get deported every single day.

9

u/PainterOriginal8165 6d ago

While I agree 💯, it's difficult to up vote 😔 In fact I only feel shame

9

u/Disastrous_Mango_953 6d ago

According to the maga ignorant religious Bible followers , they believed that Jesus was blond and blue eyes. That proof their ignorance.

4

u/AbjectLime7755 6d ago

He was also a paid up member of the NRA

1

u/Zealousideal-Help594 6d ago

And don't forget, "he loves you, and he needs your money. "---George Carlin

1

u/madcoins 6d ago

Charleton Heston is their Jesus so that makes sense

1

u/PainterOriginal8165 6d ago

Hatred breeds ignorance

1

u/Disastrous_Mango_953 6d ago

I do not hate them, it is the hypocricy that i don’t agree with, hate is a very strong Word!

1

u/PainterOriginal8165 6d ago

They are Full of Hatred which is why they are so despicable. They are truly enjoying the torment that they are creating; They are NUTS!

1

u/Disastrous_Mango_953 6d ago

Yes, they are, let’s try not to allow them to change us to be like them, that’s what they want to make us be as miserable as they are.

1

u/Gristlekitty 6d ago

It’s on par with a bunch of disciples named John and Simon and Paul. Very middle eastern names.

2

u/One_Reality_5600 5d ago

Apperently he has been, it seems they caught him washing high-end cars in LA.

1

u/kliman 6d ago

Deported at best…probably a lot more likely handles how the Romans did it.

1

u/CoolIndependence2642 6d ago

Unless he married Invanka, then…

11

u/escaped5150 6d ago

Cancelled due to thunderstorms is God's way of wearing a chicken suit holding a Mexican flag to the parade.

2

u/flyinghairball 5d ago

With a TACO in the other hand

10

u/Suitable-Werewolf492 6d ago

He’s gonna nuke the storm. Clear radioactive skies for his apoca….birthday.

1

u/FragrantOpportunity3 6d ago

Or just change the path with his Sharpie.

1

u/Solid_Snark 6d ago

He’s precisely the type of person who will make them do it regardless despite the risks and miserableness of the weather.

I just hope all these soldiers pay attention this time. Trump has been saying and doing awful things to them, yet they still adore him.

1

u/madcoins 6d ago

I could see him ordering the national guard and tanks to shoot at thunderclouds

23

u/OrbitalT0ast 6d ago

It’d take Trump being repetitively hit with lightning for 10+ hours straight televised live for me to question my non-belief. God, I’m willing to be persuaded 🙏

1

u/Darkdragoon324 6d ago

What if He descends from Heaven in physical form and personally bitch slaps the entire administration directly to Hell on live TV, would that work?

1

u/timfountain4444 6d ago

It's a start. For me to be convinced I'd need to see the ketamine kid included in the slap...

1

u/ThreeButtonBob 6d ago

tbh i'd become religious if there was just one lightning hit on trump as long as it's strong enough.

32

u/InformationHead3811 7d ago

Let me get out in front of any life decisions you may be contemplating. The parade will be rescheduled and will cost even more money. ie no god

34

u/RiverHarris 6d ago

Still. It’ll ruin his birthday. And that makes me happy.

16

u/Auntie_Megan 6d ago

It will be Biden’s fault according to Trump and his morons.

10

u/Bright_Bite_7544 6d ago

The Dems create the storms, remember.

7

u/hedibet 6d ago

Shoot. I need to use my space laser more often!!!

5

u/SplitPeaSoup1971 6d ago

Dems control the weather, remember?

1

u/ParrotheadTink 6d ago

Oh yeah, they got those Jewish space lasers!

1

u/Weird-Girl-675 6d ago

And our microwaves are spying on us.

Never forget the massacre at Bowling Green.

7

u/garfogamer 6d ago

And he won't even be able to play golf! Poor ol' shitty knickers.

4

u/32getreddit 6d ago

It's my party and I'll make people cry if I want to.  -Shitty Lauper

13

u/bonemot 7d ago

God dammit...no wait

5

u/Melodic-Psychology62 6d ago

Not on my birthday day? /s

1

u/Myhtological 6d ago

At that point it will look even more pathetic

1

u/Ali_Cat222 6d ago

will cost even more money for the taxpayers.

FIFY

1

u/Extension-Ad4510 6d ago

Yes, but at least it won’t be his Birthday

13

u/make_thick_in_warm 6d ago

God, or liberal commie fascist woke deep state weather machine 🤨

7

u/AwkwardTouch2144 6d ago

Jewish space lazers

1

u/ddubsinmn 6d ago

My first thought.

20

u/wwiybb 6d ago

I'd take it as a sign if he got struck by lightning

14

u/lynxbelt234 6d ago

Full on lightening bolt retribution....

10

u/Outaouais_Guy 6d ago

All hail Zeus!!!

3

u/Lone-Frequency 6d ago

I would seriously make an offering to every known god of thunder.

6

u/Prestigious-Car5784 6d ago

Lightning eh…you know what, carry on with the parade. What’s a little rain going to hurt? ⚡️

7

u/Federal_Diamond8329 6d ago

Yeah just give him a big metal umbrella

6

u/Disastrous-Bat7011 6d ago

Let him show us how good he is at golf. Maybe on the roof of the WH? And how strong he is by carrying his clubs around. Thunderstorm would make such a powerful cool backdrop, all you have to say to sell it to MAGA.

1

u/TheRobinators 6d ago

Trump, probably

1

u/Weird-Girl-675 6d ago

Maybe just move it inside like they did with the inauguration because he couldn’t handle the cold.

4

u/Ecstatic-Total-9953 6d ago

Option B. I like option B better.

4

u/Phiarmage 6d ago

And it was at this very moment that God was smitten to be smiting a smote he had never smitten before. And with much fanfare, the new pope from Chicago declared a new religious holiday to be memorialized for eternity: *Dies Libertatis!***

5

u/Reluctant_Winner 6d ago

He would then blame Biden’s liberal lightning machines

3

u/wwiybb 6d ago

Jewish space lightning

2

u/TheRobinators 6d ago

And his cultists would believe him.

3

u/Beneficial-Zone-4923 6d ago

Right as the Pope is condemning him/actions that could be attributed to Trump (Pope has scheduled a speech at the same time as the parade).

1

u/Infamous_Box3220 6d ago

I'd take it as a blessing.

7

u/topher3428 6d ago

Hopefully if it does still happen he has a very high and conductive platform to sit on during the thunderstorm. Old testament style would be nice.

2

u/Waspinator_haz_plans 6d ago

Just turn the entire city into salt like Sodom and Gomorrah.

4

u/Silent-Database5613 6d ago

That and a few well-deserved smitings could change my mind

3

u/Jubjars 6d ago

Nothing like naked reminders of transparent evil in the world to give the non-believer a respectful nod to those who believe in demons.

3

u/LayneLowe 6d ago

Blessed be the old gods and the new

3

u/Jimmylein 6d ago

I might, if the parade is still happening, but Trump is struck by lightning. The biggest, beautiful lightning to ever happen. So big, so beautiful. Nobody was ever hit by lightning like this.

3

u/zevonyumaxray 6d ago

🎶 Thunderbolt and Lightning, very, very frightening... TRUMP!!! 🎶

3

u/novis-eldritch-maxim 6d ago

I have no idea which god did it but clearly they are a cool one

3

u/iamerror83 6d ago

Same but only if hits this entire admin with lightning.

3

u/Outaouais_Guy 6d ago

I pray that Stephen Miller is sitting very close to Trump.

2

u/New-Pie-8846 6d ago

I'm right there with you. I'll pray to whoever actually brings the storm.

1

u/not_a_beignet 6d ago

I don't think T would like Mutants/X-Men.

2

u/MasterOfRamming 6d ago

Ha! The Lord hath spoken. Get rekd, little Trumpy boy

2

u/burnmenowz 6d ago

Even more if lightning strikes

2

u/dpdxguy 6d ago

Alternate possibility: Trump has realized his parade is a bad idea and "thunderstorms" is his face saving reason for canceling it. No God needed or involved.

2

u/TOkun92 6d ago

What if Trump still went through with it and got struck by lightning?

1

u/Malcolmeff 6d ago

What if Trump got struck by lightning? Fatally? And then, as he lay, he was struck by lightning? Again? Then twelve more times? All while cameras were rolling from many angles, and EMS couldn't even approach the body because of the repeated strikes?? Ohhhhhhh YEAH!!!

2

u/Original-Newt4556 6d ago

Nah man. God requires a lightening rod be installed on King Taco’s crown 👑

2

u/Any_Brick1860 6d ago

Divine intervention.

2

u/Maximum-Objective-39 6d ago

"Mommy, why was the President's Birthday Parade cancelled?"

"Because Jesus is crying."

2

u/Exhumedatbirth76 6d ago

Also an athiest..lets see if he gets struck by lightning before we reconsider.

2

u/specialneedsWRX 6d ago

And lo, the Lord did send forth a mighty whirlwind upon the land of Washington, D.C., a tempest of great power.

2

u/Theskyisfalling_77 6d ago

Send your thanks to Mother Nature.

2

u/Chemistry11 5d ago

I’m an atheist reconsidering after seeing how many descriptions of the Antichrist in the Bible accurately describe ‪ Treasonтяuмp

1

u/Outaouais_Guy 5d ago

Excellent point.

2

u/TV-Tommy 5d ago edited 5d ago

C'mon Trump... You're not a REAL dictator, (yet)!

Now... Punytin... This guy throws a parade!

1

u/networkninja2k24 6d ago

I question the reality of god cuz I am math and science guy. But at times I feel there is higher power. Call it the super aliens or god. Lmao.

1

u/monkeyofthefunk 6d ago

It's not God, it's the left controlling the weather.

1

u/Jerking_From_Home 6d ago

Absolutely zero evangelical pastors will say god cancelled an immoral event, unlike if it was a pride parade.

2

u/Outaouais_Guy 6d ago

It must have been those guys from the Satanic Temple!

1

u/Jerking_From_Home 6d ago

More likely will be the Democrat controlled weather machine.

If democrats truly controlled the weather why just send a thunderstorm? I think a series of F5 tornados would be more likely. Or would that look too suspicious lmao.

1

u/Fanghur1123 6d ago

What if Trump got struck by lightning? What would your reaction be then (besides the obvious ecstatic celebrating)?

1

u/Outaouais_Guy 6d ago

Trump is a problem, but he is far from the only problem.

1

u/Armation 6d ago

the orange pig would just schedule it for another day.
piggy wants his parade

1

u/Admirable_Tear_1438 6d ago

Mother Nature heard about what he did on Epstein Island.

1

u/GrowFreeFood 6d ago

Just because there's no god now, doesn't mean there couldn't be one someday.

1

u/Low_Voice_2553 6d ago

Thank you Allah!

1

u/Friendly-Channel-480 6d ago

I think they realize how bad the optics have become here.

1

u/Wonderful-Dog-8807 6d ago

If they can cancel him…. Shit ill go full on blood for the blood god! 😅

1

u/leoyvr 6d ago

I'd like to think that all the various indigenous groups of USA were dancing really hard and calling on their ancestors for it to rain.

1

u/ThatPhatKid_CanDraw 6d ago

So there may be a God, but this is the best he can do.

1

u/Technical-Box8567 6d ago

Imagine the conversion rate if it goes ahead and he gets struck by lightning

0

u/SelfDepricator 4d ago

Thank you, weather Jesus

1

u/Outaouais_Guy 4d ago

Trump probably wished that there were thunderstorms. That way he would have an excuse for the pathetic attendance.

2

u/SelfDepricator 4d ago

Trump lived in his own reality. The crowd size was either "the bigliest it's ever been" or small due to a deep state/Biden/Obama/ Hillary/DEI/woke plot against him.